11 and 9 yr old got into a serious fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- it sounds like your son is the aggressor. I was the victim of a sibling’s bullying and abuse. In my view, my mother did not do enough to protect me. Don’t make that same mistake. Do not leave them alone doesn’t matter what age they are.

You have no idea what happened and you are projecting your own experience. Just as likely that this is the end result of years of verbal bullying by the older sister.

Reread what OP wrote. She had to literally throw her son to get him to stop kicking his sister.

[Anonymous]

No more video games until after holidays.

If you need to leave them unsupervised they each go to their room and do something there. Re-evaluate after holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I have five kids. My youngest is 18. Oldest is 29. Three boys and two girls. Take a deep breath. You are overreacting. Of course you can still go on vacation. The kids will probably be over this in an hour. That said, it is unacceptable for them to hurt each other and they should be appropriately punished. But seriously....it happens. You sound like a great mom! It’s not easy parenting kids that age. Tomorrow will be better.

X1000

Don’t overreact. Go on vacation. Take away game. Tell them that’s not how we treat each other in this family. Move on. It’s totally normal behavior. That doesn’t mean it should happen or that if it happens again there shouldn’t also be consequences. But you’re all ok. Sometimes summer has dips and ups and downs. Don’t drag this out. Go reboot on your trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d get rid of video games forever. Including iPads. It only takes 1 to go get a knife and you have lost 2 kids .

Overly dramatic much.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

What? She was in the house, just sent them to another part of the house to occupy themselves. When your kid was that age were they always stuck to your hip? My DS is 10 and stays home alone for short periods of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

What? She was in the house, just sent them to another part of the house to occupy themselves. When your kid was that age were they always stuck to your hip? My DS is 10 and stays home alone for short periods of time.

So no one was watching them?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d get rid of video games forever. Including iPads. It only takes 1 to go get a knife and you have lost 2 kids .

While I think the step towards murder might be a bit much, I’d also get rid of the video games for good. I’d also take all screens until about October

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

What? She was in the house, just sent them to another part of the house to occupy themselves. When your kid was that age were they always stuck to your hip? My DS is 10 and stays home alone for short periods of time.

So no one was watching them?!?!

OMG. These kids are 9 and 11....do you really have eyes on your children that age for every second of the day? My kids are older now, but at that age, they were quite capable of playing by themselves or with a group of friends either indoors or out in the neighborhood. And the younger child, at 6, seemed to show that he was capable as well as he was the one to go get help when needed. I recommend the book How to Raise An Adult to give some perspective on child indepence at different ages.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I had horrible physical fights. It is one thing when your ds is 9, but my 14 yr old is taller and heavier than I am. It won't be long at all before your ds can seriously hurt your dd. I think you need to have zero tolerance for physical fighting and it is never ok, and punish both kids equally. But you and your dh need to sit your ds down privately and tell him that he is not to hit girls. EVER. Even if it seems that are evenly matched now, he needs to hear from you guys that it is never okay for him to hurt a girl unless it is 100% self defense and he feels his life is in danger.

Yes, neither kid should be hitting, but your ds is going to bigger than you can physically control very fast.

There are teen boys who hit their moms. YOu really need to be very clear with your ds privately (so your dd doesn't intentially provoke him with "but you cant hit me back, I'm a girl!" that this is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

What? She was in the house, just sent them to another part of the house to occupy themselves. When your kid was that age were they always stuck to your hip? My DS is 10 and stays home alone for short periods of time.

So no one was watching them?!?!

You're in the wrong forum. Go back to the Infant, Toddler, PreK forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- it sounds like your son is the aggressor. I was the victim of a sibling’s bullying and abuse. In my view, my mother did not do enough to protect me. Don’t make that same mistake. Do not leave them alone doesn’t matter what age they are.

You have no idea what happened and you are projecting your own experience. Just as likely that this is the end result of years of verbal bullying by the older sister.

Reread what OP wrote. She had to literally throw her son to get him to stop kicking his sister.

But we don’t know what the sister was doing at that moment. Or just before the fight turned physical. Or anything about their relationship. And Op clearly is going to respond - that’s why she is here. I am sorry for your experience, but I think you are projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I had horrible physical fights. It is one thing when your ds is 9, but my 14 yr old is taller and heavier than I am. It won't be long at all before your ds can seriously hurt your dd. I think you need to have zero tolerance for physical fighting and it is never ok, and punish both kids equally. But you and your dh need to sit your ds down privately and tell him that he is not to hit girls. EVER. Even if it seems that are evenly matched now, he needs to hear from you guys that it is never okay for him to hurt a girl unless it is 100% self defense and he feels his life is in danger.

Yes, neither kid should be hitting, but your ds is going to bigger than you can physically control very fast.

There are teen boys who hit their moms. YOu really need to be very clear with your ds privately (so your dd doesn't intentially provoke him with "but you cant hit me back, I'm a girl!" that this is unacceptable.

I am not sure I like this. He shouldn’t hit anyone. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Video games and hormones.

Even if I wanted my kids to play video games for hours, they couldn’t. They lose their minds after about 20 minutes.

This.

We were supposed to spend today with friends, but their 14 year old lost it when his mom turned off his game. He stormed off and they are looking for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Who was watching these kids when you were working OP?

Read the post. She was working in the house. They are 9 and 11. They shouldn't need eyes on them at all times.