11 and 9 yr old got into a serious fight

[Anonymous]

OP- it sounds like your son is the aggressor. I was the victim of a sibling’s bullying and abuse. In my view, my mother did not do enough to protect me. Don’t make that same mistake. Do not leave them alone doesn’t matter what age they are.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your 6 year old first and let him tell you what he saw. Thank him for telling you about the fight between his siblings. He did the right thing and you are very, very proud of him.

After you talk to your 6 year old you should have a better understanding of what exactly happened. From there, you can then talk to your older two kids separately. Let them each give their versions of what happened.

Next you and your husband can sit down with these two and let them know that hurting each other like that was dangerous and unacceptable. They will both be losing video games for a month and if they ever fight like that again you will be taking video games away from them permanently. No joke.

It sounds like your kids could use a week away from screens in general. Spend time together as a family playing board games. Play in the ocean, have bonfires at night (if allowed), go ghost crab hunting, fishing, climb a lighthouse, go on a dolphin cruise. Just have fun together. It'll be o.k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Video games and hormones.

Even if I wanted my kids to play video games for hours, they couldn’t. They lose their minds after about 20 minutes.

Dp. Dont be qiuck to blame video games. Occasionally, my brother and I would fight like ops kids and we didnt have video games. It was a short phase thank goodness.

You can't blame video games. They've been around forever. Dh has fond memories of playing endless hours of Mario with his friends. All of them are normal, healthy, functional people.

It happens OP. I am assuming there is a bit of stress and anxiety in the air given all the packing and last minute things before an out of town trip (and the kids are, of course, no help). Have you talked to either one of them? Have they talked to each other? What triggered the argument?
Kids get annoyed with each, there's an element of tween hormone flare ups, and of course boredom - stuck in the house, you're doing computer stuff for work, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP—Please update!

[Anonymous]

Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I have five kids. My youngest is 18. Oldest is 29. Three boys and two girls. Take a deep breath. You are overreacting. Of course you can still go on vacation. The kids will probably be over this in an hour. That said, it is unacceptable for them to hurt each other and they should be appropriately punished. But seriously....it happens. You sound like a great mom! It’s not easy parenting kids that age. Tomorrow will be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

OP needs a reminder. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

OP needs a reminder. That's all.

So this reminder will help him/her resolve this appropriately with the kids. By reading your reminder, OP will have the words and actions to ensure the kids understand the gravity of what happened and how to move forward. Is that what you're saying? If not, please clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

OP needs a reminder. That's all.

So this reminder will help him/her resolve this appropriately with the kids. By reading your reminder, OP will have the words and actions to ensure the kids understand the gravity of what happened and how to move forward. Is that what you're saying? If not, please clarify.

All I am saying is raise your kids. Is that so hard to understand? Concept too H-A-R-D for you? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- it sounds like your son is the aggressor. I was the victim of a sibling’s bullying and abuse. In my view, my mother did not do enough to protect me. Don’t make that same mistake. Do not leave them alone doesn’t matter what age they are.

You have no idea what happened and you are projecting your own experience. Just as likely that this is the end result of years of verbal bullying by the older sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

OP needs a reminder. That's all.

So this reminder will help him/her resolve this appropriately with the kids. By reading your reminder, OP will have the words and actions to ensure the kids understand the gravity of what happened and how to move forward. Is that what you're saying? If not, please clarify.

All I am saying is raise your kids. Is that so hard to understand? Concept too H-A-R-D for you? LOL

Oh shut up idiot.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your 6 year old first and let him tell you what he saw. Thank him for telling you about the fight between his siblings. He did the right thing and you are very, very proud of him.

After you talk to your 6 year old you should have a better understanding of what exactly happened. From there, you can then talk to your older two kids separately. Let them each give their versions of what happened.

Next you and your husband can sit down with these two and let them know that hurting each other like that was dangerous and unacceptable. They will both be losing video games for a month and if they ever fight like that again you will be taking video games away from them permanently. No joke.

It sounds like your kids could use a week away from screens in general. Spend time together as a family playing board games. Play in the ocean, have bonfires at night (if allowed), go ghost crab hunting, fishing, climb a lighthouse, go on a dolphin cruise. Just have fun together. It'll be o.k.

This is very good advice and I agree with all of it. I also agree with another poster that your children never need to play to the same video game again - get rid of it in whatever format they access it.

A different poster also had some great suggestions about getting the children to set up their own rules and protocols, including consequences, for video games. I would do that in the form of a family meeting when you get back. Your first official family meeting should be tonight before you leave, and you address in a positive way what you want the outcome to be for the vacation. You should be sure that the girls have apologized to each other but also to your 6 year old and you and your spouse. They caused some serious trauma in your family and they need to recognize it and then apologize for it. They also need to assure you that it will NOT happen again on your vacation. Your second family meeting will be when you get back and you will discuss the rules/protocol development thing for the video games.

We are big believers in family meetings. We have a regular family meeting about once a month but we hold other ones when a problem arises. Like another poster, we have 5 kids. But we have 4 older kids in high school, college or graduated, and then 1 little guy in elementary. Even when he was 2 or 3 he would sit in on the family meeting. Now it is mostly just us (mom and dad) and him. It is pretty cute how engaged he is in the family meeting and we get a lot of great information from him about things in general. Good snacks help. Regular family meetings are a really good way to keep the lines of communication open and to maintain mutual respect for all members of the family.

[Anonymous]

This is why you need to supervise your kids better. This is why you don't allow rough housing as kids can get carried away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don't raise them by themselves. That's why you need parents. Having babies is easy, raising them, very hard. This one is on you OP.

WOW! That was SUPER helpful, PP.

OP needs a reminder. That's all.

So this reminder will help him/her resolve this appropriately with the kids. By reading your reminder, OP will have the words and actions to ensure the kids understand the gravity of what happened and how to move forward. Is that what you're saying? If not, please clarify.

All I am saying is raise your kids. Is that so hard to understand? Concept too H-A-R-D for you? LOL

Oh shut up idiot.

-NP

Don't feed the troll. The more you respond to her nonsense the more she'll post.