10 year old starting to gain weight

[Anonymous]

I think you should schedule an appointment or phone consult - without her -and with her pediatrician.

They can review her growth chart, look at what is within range, etc, and then determine what approach (if any) is warranted, and help establish some guardrails so you don't inadvertently create an issue by trying to solve another.

I raised a now 22 year old - all your DD's eating habits sound TOTALLY typical to me and not out of the range. All kids - skinny chubby, etc, eat like this. She may be a little genetically predisposed to hang onto weight, she may not - I think that's why a ped can provide a really good gut check and road map for you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

8-yo DD also gained a lot of weight recently- 16 lbs in a year. Is she hitting puberty soon?

[Anonymous]

Quietly overhaul your pantry to remove carbs or snack of every kind, and make sure to have lots and lots of fruit across your counters. It’s a trick I learned from my Mom- middle schoolers and teenagers are hungry for “sugar” and this is a way to fill that void and have her fill up on much healthier options. And don’t restrict that - I would eat 4 oranges sometimes as a teen and middle schooler. Brothers would sometimes eat half of a grape bowl. Nobody is chubby as adults except for one much younger sibling that didn’t get this.

[Anonymous]

PP here - on my “fruit counter” trick it’s something middle eastern and south Asian parents(and some Asian) parents do. Kids at this age want more independence on their food choices so it’s a great way to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Go out to eat less?
You might gently explain that losing weight is not very fun, so a bit of moderation at the start prevents this.

Try to explain that it’s fine to eat pizza, but to eat slower and/or stop at 4 slices instead of 5?
Try to explain that sometimes she should choose healthy snacks - popcorn or baked chips - from the vending machine. Not all the time but sometimes.

Encourage her to bring fruit to school as a snack as well sometimes.

The key is moderation, not ‘never eating carbs and junk’.

Yo uare right but I honestly would NOT Have this discussion with a 10 year old... who is likely experiencing this prior to a growth spurt.

[Anonymous]

I mean this from the kindest place, OP. But you indicated you're overweight. This means that your habits and nutrition do not support a healthy weight. It is unrealistic to think that you can model that lifestyle but that your kids will choose another. If you're offering a lot of refined carbs and processed foods, it doesn't matter that you ALSO offer fruits and veggies. The best way to address your concerns about your child is to address your own health.

[Anonymous]

I would lay off for a year and focus on family exercise as well as sports and activities. I remember a vacation when I was 11 where I ordered a double bacon cheeseburger with fries for every meal for a week - with milkshakes. The following school year I got my period and grew 6 inches without gaining more weight.

[Anonymous]

I tell my girls to listen to their bodies. Eat when they are hungry, stop eating when they are full. Eat a good balance of protein and carbs to stabilize blood sugar. Not too much added sugar, but it's fine to have a treat.

I was bulimic as a teen thanks to terrible messages from my mom (e.g., "You're going to eat ALL THAT?!?" "You're STILL hungry?"). I have had to actively resist disordered messages from my female relatives, including my sister in law telling one of my daughters that she would be "big" if she kept eating the way she does. (DD is a competitive athlete.)

There are so many potential pitfalls here. Please tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

My 10-year-old is a bit chunky too. She's very active and plays multiple sports (during the soccer season, she's working out 5-6 days a week), but she does have a sweet tooth, and genetically, she will never be a skinny kid. (neither dad or I are fat or even chubby but we are both pretty solid/muscular.)

I know way too many women who have disordered eating because of body image issues - many of whom have moms who were on their case growing up about their weight - so I tread very lightly in this area. I try to model healthy living (I work out daily) and I try to make good food choices in front of her, and we talk about what good food choices are. We talk about portion control and foods that fuel us vs. empty calories. We are going on a bit of a "healthier living" challenge this summer, all 3 of us, and trying to eat out less and put more veggies into our diets and eat fewer sweets. We'll see if it works.

[Anonymous]

Gah, why are you posting this in the "Diet and Excercise" forum? This place is filled with disordered thinking. Take her to a ped and keep active as a family.

[Anonymous]

If you eat reasonably well and are overweight it may well be genetic for her to be a little chubby. Not everyone is going to be slim like Kate Middleton, they just aren’t. I say that as someone who could eat whatever she wanted until about 40 and stay really slim. I are mostly home cooked food but lots of pasta, ice cream, steak etc...

My 12 year old son is barely on the growth chart for weight and eats like the famine is coming.

I think you are doing so many of the right things and beyond that this is not totally something you can control.

I will say that I try to discuss things from a health/nutrition perspective. My kids love their white carbs and even with my beanpole son I talk about how white carbs basically convert to sugar, aren’t as filling as whole grains, how fiber is important, eating the rainbow to try to get all the nutrients, lots of saturated fat isn’t good for your heart, etc...in other words, make it about health not weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quietly overhaul your pantry to remove carbs or snack of every kind, and make sure to have lots and lots of fruit across your counters. It’s a trick I learned from my Mom- middle schoolers and teenagers are hungry for “sugar” and this is a way to fill that void and have her fill up on much healthier options. And don’t restrict that - I would eat 4 oranges sometimes as a teen and middle schooler. Brothers would sometimes eat half of a grape bowl. Nobody is chubby as adults except for one much younger sibling that didn’t get this.

Surely you don't mean that OP should forbid her 10 year old dd all carbs?! Plenty of carbs are healthy and good for you and if she messes up her metabolism by restricting calories now, how will her child ever avoid obesity later in life? I am not a chubby adult and I was somewhat chubby as a 10 year old(not really, nobody was chubby that long ago, people thought if you had 4lbs more in 70s and 80s that you were chubby), and by 16 I had not an extra 1 lbs on me. I was around 100lbs after I got my period one summer and grew a bit. OP, don't listen to waif ocd pps here. Healthy relationship with food is important, lots of veggies, healthy grains and some meat, Mediterranean diet type, is still he best diet for kids and adults. I am not heavy now, and I can be critical of parents with obese kids, I admit it, I am not perfect, I judge sometimes when I see a very, very heavy kid, I judge parents, but come on, don't talk to nuts dcum about it, see a Dr for your child, don't listen to skinny dcum biatches. Carbs are perfectly good food and much needed fuel for humans, if done right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my girls to listen to their bodies. Eat when they are hungry, stop eating when they are full. Eat a good balance of protein and carbs to stabilize blood sugar. Not too much added sugar, but it's fine to have a treat.

I was bulimic as a teen thanks to terrible messages from my mom (e.g., "You're going to eat ALL THAT?!?" "You're STILL hungry?"). I have had to actively resist disordered messages from my female relatives, including my sister in law telling one of my daughters that she would be "big" if she kept eating the way she does. (DD is a competitive athlete.)

There are so many potential pitfalls here. Please tread carefully.

Always someone else to blame? Right? Your mom tried to tell you you are eating too much, this was the way most of us were raised, this is what is normal in the world, to tell kids, stop eating.... My kids are competitive athletes, they eat and they are not heavy. (they are older teens now)When did kids competitive athletic activity mean it's ok to be heavy?!

[Anonymous]

8:25 - what if the PP you quoted was eating very normal portion sizes and her mother was criticizing that? I have a few friends with eating disorders - they eat very tiny portions. To a person who has chosen to feed herself very tiny portions, a normal portion seems like a lot of food. The women I know with disordered eating patterns can usually trace those patterns to feedback they received during their childhood/teens, usually from their mothers.

You sound like you (a) have anger issues, and (b) have some disordered eating issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8:25 - what if the PP you quoted was eating very normal portion sizes and her mother was criticizing that? I have a few friends with eating disorders - they eat very tiny portions. To a person who has chosen to feed herself very tiny portions, a normal portion seems like a lot of food. The women I know with disordered eating patterns can usually trace those patterns to feedback they received during their childhood/teens, usually from their mothers.

You sound like you (a) have anger issues, and (b) have some disordered eating issues.

Oh please. Not everything is emo drama. So many of your relatives are commenting on weight? You are an adult know and your disorder is your own now. I have an obese mother, I am not tracing anything to her.