Husband sleeps on couch after arguments

[Anonymous]

It soooooooooo is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess everyone handles fights and emotions differently. He recently lost his job so coupled with the miscarriage things are just extra. He still slept on the couch last night. I guess he’s not giving in. I’ll be the one to apologize and just move on. It’s a long weekend and honestly I want us to enjoy our time together. 95% of the time, he’s the most loving person. When we argue and he’s hurt he wants to show me he’s sooooo hurt by sleeping on the couch. Sigh. You win some you lose some.

Is this a joke?

He’s beyond immature and vindictive.

Hope this is yet another troll post with troll follow up bombs.

Well the post is from 2019. So either OP was a troll or hopefully OP has worked her stuff out.

[Anonymous]

Maybe wait until you are better at communicating and fighting to try to conceive. Sorry for your loss. Don't bring a baby into that situation. Just imagine what you'll have to fight about when you are both sleep deprived and kids are involved. 🤯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married less than two years and he started doing this the first six months. When I stopped letting it bother me eg I stopped pointing it out. Matter of fact I would spread out on the whole bed and enjoy it. When he realized it wasn’t getting to me, he stopped. We had an argument last night and he slept on the couch.

We just suffered a miscarriage and things are a bit sensitive so my feelings are a bit hurt with the couch thing again. Should I ignore it? What should I do?

This is a very serious situation. Don’t ignore it. It will get worse. This is not normal behavior. Do you really know this man? You should see a divorce lawyer. Do this before having kids with this man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married less than two years and he started doing this the first six months. When I stopped letting it bother me eg I stopped pointing it out. Matter of fact I would spread out on the whole bed and enjoy it. When he realized it wasn’t getting to me, he stopped. We had an argument last night and he slept on the couch.

We just suffered a miscarriage and things are a bit sensitive so my feelings are a bit hurt with the couch thing again. Should I ignore it? What should I do?

First, I'm sorry about the miscarriage. Have hope. I had multiple multiple and now have two amazing children.

But what is his goal sleeping on the couch, to hurt you? I think I'd try to detach, but ask him if it was comfortable, how he slept, and ask him why he's doing it.

Guy here and sleeping on the couch for me is showing her respect and giving her space. If she is bothered me or my presence at that time, whey would I put myself in a situation where I we are forced to be close:

My wife told me it hurt her when I did sleep on the couch. But there was also no way effort on her end to let me know it was ok after a fight. Then as a man you have to make a decision to you trust what she said after the last fight sleep in the bed, or trust what she expressed that day that she doesn’t want to be anywhere near you and sleep on the couch.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure it’s personal. I can’t share a bed with someone after we’ve had a big fight. Feels too intense.

[Anonymous]

whats the problem?

[Anonymous]

I’m boggled by the frequency and intensity of the fights you people seem to be having. Maybe marriage was a mistake for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess everyone handles fights and emotions differently. He recently lost his job so coupled with the miscarriage things are just extra. He still slept on the couch last night. I guess he’s not giving in. I’ll be the one to apologize and just move on. It’s a long weekend and honestly I want us to enjoy our time together. 95% of the time, he’s the most loving person. When we argue and he’s hurt he wants to show me he’s sooooo hurt by sleeping on the couch. Sigh. You win some you lose some.

Maybe if he’s so hurt, you *should* apologize.

[Anonymous]

Op, if you expect an apology that might be part of the problem. Not all couple do. DH and I hug and forget it. Have said, "I'm sorry" probably only a couple times in our marriage but even though infrequent, those times weren't particularly memorable. Marriage should be a respite from the harsh outside world. The drama should be outside your door.

What is there to fight about really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Don't take it personally. We do it to cool down. Sometimes because we want to, and other times the wives kick us out of the bedroom.

It should last only one night. If he continues to sleep on the couch the next night, you guys have some (serious) marital issues.

Wife here. I've never kicked DH out of the bedroom. I've only ever slept on the couch when DH is hot and tossy-turny, not out of anger. No argument is worth alienating my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m boggled by the frequency and intensity of the fights you people seem to be having. Maybe marriage was a mistake for you?

Agreed. I've done some atrocious things. But no fights, name calling, yelling, throwing. And I've been angry at my spouse. No withholding sex or affection (not that I'm particularly affectionate) or giving the silent treatment. That's all so childish. My children have done things like that, although as they get older they are getting better - even apologizing for their bad behavior unsolicited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married 35 years and neither of us has ever slept on the couch because we were upset. Snoring is a different story! We simply don’t go to bed until we at least semi resolve the conflict. We may not kiss and make up but it’s not like boxers sent to their corners waiting for the next round.

Same. We don't go to bed angry. However, my husband (and one of our daughters) is a person who needs space after an argument, so we will go our separate ways and then discuss later. Harder to do if an argument happens at night but we're usually able to resolve things quickly. I don't get the whole silent treatment thing, and I think that's childish, and while I can kind of see going to the couch as a different thing, to me it's sort of similar. Why can't you address the issue before going to sleep? And if it's not something that can be resolved, how do you live like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess everyone handles fights and emotions differently. He recently lost his job so coupled with the miscarriage things are just extra. He still slept on the couch last night. I guess he’s not giving in. I’ll be the one to apologize and just move on. It’s a long weekend and honestly I want us to enjoy our time together. 95% of the time, he’s the most loving person. When we argue and he’s hurt he wants to show me he’s sooooo hurt by sleeping on the couch. Sigh. You win some you lose some.

Is this a joke?

He’s beyond immature and vindictive.

Hope this is yet another troll post with troll follow up bombs.

Well the post is from 2019. So either OP was a troll or hopefully OP has worked her stuff out.

Oh, I hope OP comes back and tells us if they have kids now or if they got divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married 35 years and neither of us has ever slept on the couch because we were upset. Snoring is a different story! We simply don’t go to bed until we at least semi resolve the conflict. We may not kiss and make up but it’s not like boxers sent to their corners waiting for the next round.

Same. We don't go to bed angry. However, my husband (and one of our daughters) is a person who needs space after an argument, so we will go our separate ways and then discuss later. Harder to do if an argument happens at night but we're usually able to resolve things quickly. I don't get the whole silent treatment thing, and I think that's childish, and while I can kind of see going to the couch as a different thing, to me it's sort of similar. Why can't you address the issue before going to sleep? And if it's not something that can be resolved, how do you live like that?

DP. I sleep on the couch sometimes. A lot of times DH shuts down during an argument or he will pretend that the thing that I’m upset about didn’t happen.
We have kids and jobs and sometimes we just need to go to sleep and move on with our lives before we have time to resolve the problem. At the same time, I’m not really willing to pretend that it never happened or that there is no problem.