DH Appears to Have Given Me an Ultimatum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him, but be ready to lose half of your properties. It sounds like you are an immigrant? Immigrant women are often reluctant to divorce their US husbands, don't be. You don't need his sorry a**.

Yes, I haven't filed for divorce because I don't want him to take my money. And yes, I am an immigrant.

[Anonymous]

In America, honey, spouses help each other and there is no "his money" "her money." If you don't like that, go back from whence you came.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him, but be ready to lose half of your properties. It sounds like you are an immigrant? Immigrant women are often reluctant to divorce their US husbands, don't be. You don't need his sorry a**.

Why is he the sorry a** loser rather than she being someone who doesn't want to contribute? She seems to be financially abusive.

Doubtful. She is an immigrant that got a job, traveled the world wit him, and he sounds like a petulant baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him, but be ready to lose half of your properties. It sounds like you are an immigrant? Immigrant women are often reluctant to divorce their US husbands, don't be. You don't need his sorry a**.

Yes, I haven't filed for divorce because I don't want him to take my money. And yes, I am an immigrant.

Given your update about his fiscal ineptitude, you might end up losing more if you wait. Do you love him? Clearly he goes through these divorce threats. Sure, being an immigrant and divorcing is scary, but giving up a good job and moving away when you have properties to maintain is not wise either, for a guy that flip flops like this. State Department maybe?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you two hate each other. Why wouldn't you divorce?

[Anonymous]

You don't respect him and he doesn't respect you. Divorce.
Is his name on any of the properties? Spend some money on a financial advisor and attorney now. Don't tell him. Who knows if he's doing the same. Get your ducks in a row and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In America, honey, spouses help each other and there is no "his money" "her money." If you don't like that, go back from whence you came.

What does your comment have to do with this discussion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him, but be ready to lose half of your properties. It sounds like you are an immigrant? Immigrant women are often reluctant to divorce their US husbands, don't be. You don't need his sorry a**.

Yes, I haven't filed for divorce because I don't want him to take my money. And yes, I am an immigrant.

You need to decide what is worth more to you. Is your portfolio worth staying in a miserable marriage? He is entitled to half your assets.

As for his complaints about the bills, if you want to stay married, go through the bills he is talking about, select half, and start paying them directly.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he is paying for them to live and she is investing her money into properties and then calling him reckless.

I'm all for women being independent and financially savvy, but OP is neither.

[Anonymous]

Is the above true OP? Do you keep all the money you earn and invest it while his salary pays all the bills? Who pays the mortgage, whose name is on the rental properties? Do you own those outright? What bills are you paying OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him, but be ready to lose half of your properties. It sounds like you are an immigrant? Immigrant women are often reluctant to divorce their US husbands, don't be. You don't need his sorry a**.

Yes, I haven't filed for divorce because I don't want him to take my money. And yes, I am an immigrant.

Given your update about his fiscal ineptitude, you might end up losing more if you wait. Do you love him? Clearly he goes through these divorce threats. Sure, being an immigrant and divorcing is scary, but giving up a good job and moving away when you have properties to maintain is not wise either, for a guy that flip flops like this. State Department maybe?

If he’s covering all their living expenses, I don’t think he’s financially inept.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I keep separate finances but we have open discussions about it and sometimes revisit the division as necessary. (Before anyone comments, it works for us.) You aren’t playing fair and having an open discussion and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to paying some of the bills. You seem like you shut down to your husband trying to communicate about this situation and a split arrangement cannot work without willing communication.

[Anonymous]

I think you need some actual legal advice.

Spend $500 and have a consult with a lawyer. You can look in the Washingtonian for lists of good lawyers. Before you make the appointment, explain you have a complicated financial situation and ask if they can handle it.

Are you now a citizen? Will divorce affect your ability to be in the US? If so, also ask about this. Make sure the lawyer you consult can address these issues.

Then, listen for an hour (asking intelligent questions) and figure out what the best case scenario (and worst case) for you is.

You will likely have to pay to end this relationship. Figure out what that's going to look like, and then decide if you can live like this. I don't think you have many options - so figure out what that looks like. If it's unappealing, decide what is more appealing and follow that path. Maybe you send him off to this international assignment, and take over mortgage, bills, etc, and wait a few years and then divorce. Hard to know what will be best for you, but bottom line you need more info to make these decisions.

[Anonymous]

Meet with a lawyer and get a divorce, this is not gonna end well in any way, so get out and ahead of it when you can.

[Anonymous]

If he is so bad with money and you own some sort of budding real estate empire, why is he being burdened with 100% of the financial obligations? WTF is wrong with you?