Thoughts on legal sex work

[Anonymous]

Married man here - we all pay for it. Seriously, why pay for it when it is so readily available.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably be "mostly ok" with is if it was legal and not a sex trafficking situation. I feel like sex with a prostitute is, in a way, more honorable than sleeping with some woman who thinks you're going to call her again and then ghosting her because you were just in it for the sex. At least with prostitution, it's honest.

That said, I'd probably be on the alert for other things he's done that are slightly outside of the norm, sexually. He might have a different moral code than I do and there might be more stuff there that he hasn't disclosed yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great that he told you this. I'd be more interested in how he is thinking about it now vs when it happened. Does he see any problem with what happened? If so, what?

OP here - he viewed as very transactional. He paid for s service and received it. No thought about the person (and her story) providing said service. I am trying to have somewhat of open minded. I think his viewpoint is 100% selfish. However, at the same time, he literally has never been grabbed by random men or come close to having a sexual encounter that didn’t end well for him/slash he didn’t enjoy.

At the same time, I feel sort of like a hypocrite. I am 100% I have enjoyed/purchased products that our culture would say someone was exploited to make. And, it will never be known how she thought of herself/job, but there is no doubt woman out there being exploited sexually.

[Anonymous]

Was he on a trip to Columbia at the time?

[Anonymous]

Don't most men pay for sex in their early years anyway? Movies, dinners, gifts, trips...
What's the difference?

[Anonymous]

No thank you

[Anonymous]

How does the partner in question relay the experience? Something they feel guilty about/proud about?

I don't think its an outright deal breaker for me, but they would need to have learned from it and not be the kind of person today that would go down that road.

I have one friend that did it and frequently talked about how it was fun but somewhat awkward at the time and how he regrets it. That he understands that contributing to these women's subjugation (he did it in China) is wrong and he would not do it again and feels guilt that he did it at all.

Someone like that? Not a dealbreaker.

Someone who bragged about getting hookers in their 20s? Nope, moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married man here - we all pay for it. Seriously, why pay for it when it is so readily available.

because if you pay them, they'll leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why pay when so many are giving it away for free?

You are paying them to leave with no obligation or stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

Exactly This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

Exactly This!

Except the random dude at the bar isn't likely to have been abused and stripped of autonomy and choices for most of his life. If prostitution was safe and legal and regulated I would have less of a problem with it. But the reality is that if you aren't in Nevada or Amsterdam, you're likely contributing to human trafficking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

Exactly This!

Except the random dude at the bar isn't likely to have been abused and stripped of autonomy and choices for most of his life. If prostitution was safe and legal and regulated I would have less of a problem with it. But the reality is that if you aren't in Nevada or Amsterdam, you're likely contributing to human trafficking.

It's legal and regulated in many countires, including Germany and Australia, and most of eastern Europe. Also where it's not regulated, why do you assume everyone doing it is abused? It's a job like any other. Yes, the people do it because they want money, but isn't that the same with any job?

Probably there's more exploitation going on at the factory in Vietnam where your shirt was made than in the sex industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

There is a lot of truth in this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

Exactly This!

Except the random dude at the bar isn't likely to have been abused and stripped of autonomy and choices for most of his life. If prostitution was safe and legal and regulated I would have less of a problem with it. But the reality is that if you aren't in Nevada or Amsterdam, you're likely contributing to human trafficking.

It's legal and regulated in many countires, including Germany and Australia, and most of eastern Europe. Also where it's not regulated, why do you assume everyone doing it is abused? It's a job like any other. Yes, the people do it because they want money, but isn't that the same with any job?

Probably there's more exploitation going on at the factory in Vietnam where your shirt was made than in the sex industry.

Whatever you have to say to sleep at night. It is well known that sex workers are a vulnerable and frequently abused population. I don't think EVERY worker is being abused, but I think you sure as hell can't tell the difference between them, and that getting a prostitute in Thailand is like buying a puppy from a puppy mill, maybe your puppy is fine, but the industry is abusive, exploitative, and dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man paying for sex with a prostitute is equivalent to a woman seeking out a random dude at bar/hotel/conference for a one night stand encounter. They just want sex with a stranger and no strings attached. In other words, it is simply NSA sex.

The fact that most men will have NSA sex without payment (and most women would not... even WITH a payment!) is simply a consequence of men's 10 times higher sex drive. This biological libido gap does not make NSA sex any better or worse for a man to do it versus a woman.

Exactly This!

Except the random dude at the bar isn't likely to have been abused and stripped of autonomy and choices for most of his life. If prostitution was safe and legal and regulated I would have less of a problem with it. But the reality is that if you aren't in Nevada or Amsterdam, you're likely contributing to human trafficking.

It's legal and regulated in many countires, including Germany and Australia, and most of eastern Europe. Also where it's not regulated, why do you assume everyone doing it is abused? It's a job like any other. Yes, the people do it because they want money, but isn't that the same with any job?

Probably there's more exploitation going on at the factory in Vietnam where your shirt was made than in the sex industry.

Whatever you have to say to sleep at night. It is well known that sex workers are a vulnerable and frequently abused population. I don't think EVERY worker is being abused, but I think you sure as hell can't tell the difference between them, and that getting a prostitute in Thailand is like buying a puppy from a puppy mill, maybe your puppy is fine, but the industry is abusive, exploitative, and dangerous.

Where were your clothes made? Did you vet the producers and factories? It is well known that textile workers are a vulnerable and frequently abused population. I don't think EVERY worker is being abused, but I think you sure as hell can't tell the difference between them, and that buying your clothes made in Vietnnam is like buying a puppy from a puppy mill, maybe your puppy is fine, but the industry is abusive, exploitative, and dangerous.