Sister and BIL just leased a luxury SUV I know they can’t afford

[Anonymous]

OP must be the op of different thread where she says her brother and SIL take advantage of her parents all the time. Was he out of work for a long time too?

[Anonymous]

The Range Rover and Range Rover Sport are easily $1000 lease payments with nothing down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Range Rover and Range Rover Sport are easily $1000 lease payments with nothing down.

This. It matters a lot how much you do or don’t put down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be so much happier when you learn to mind your own business.

+1 Amen to this!

2nd. Stop counting other people’s money.

+1

Grow up, OP. Not your monkeys.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Range Rover did they lease? The dealer in Bethesda has Evoque's for $399/month and the Velar for $499 if you feel like you need one too. We test drove the Evoque and didn't like it but I guess others do.

It’s a big fancy one. It’s over $1,000 a month.

My sport is over $1000 a month. A big Range Rover is probably $1300 at least. No was an evoque is $500 unless you are putting $5000 down.

[Anonymous]

Until you know with certainty that you sibling has asked your parents to cover the payments, you do NOTHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just focus on your parents and ensuring that they have adequate management of their resources. Maybe preemptively ask them now “Well now that taxes are done, are you okay with everything in your financial planning? If you’re finding that you need some help planning for future needs, etc I can help you get some names of planners who can help. We’re frugal because we know there can be unexpected emergencies and I just want to be sure you’ll be okay. I offered the same to Larla but they seem to have different priorities about being financially responsible.”

This is the best response, OP. Mature and realistic.

But I would leave out that last sentence about offering financial planning advice to Larla, etc. Because..don't offer it to Larla and BIL. Focus only on whether your parents are going to be secure in their old age. Not on your inheritance--I really hope you aren't depending even a tiny bit on some speculative inheritance. Not on how mad sister's stupid spending makes you. Focus solely on your parents' ability to look after themselves if medical bills crop up or they have to move to assisted living or need home repairs or, or, or....

Framing all this as "How is your future planning?" and putting it into a professional's hands is the way to go, so parents and sister and BIL can't say you're meddling between them. You know your parents seem to enable sister's poor choices. Involve a professional but do not say it's because you family makes poor choices. If you say that they will shut down and not be receptive to hearing what a professional adviser would say.

And consider laying out for your parents that YOUR funds are fully committed (especially if you are saving for kids' college funds/your own retirement). You can do this in a general way ("We set aside Sally's college fund money each month and our retirement savings and live frugally otherwise...."). Send the message that you aren't able to fund their later years.

[Anonymous]

I think the people saying that’s it’s not your business haven’t dealt with this. You are all a family and I do think you have a right to be annnoyed. My father is super generous - to strangers and family alike. And I see him CONSTANTLY. Being taken advantage of for his generosity. It hurts my heart. I’ve said things a few times but he is who he is and won’t change. (To be clear though, he tells me about it and O express an opinion as part of our conversation . I’m proud of him but also get sooo mad sometime. Anyway,
No advice just want to let you know that I sympathize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just focus on your parents and ensuring that they have adequate management of their resources. Maybe preemptively ask them now “Well now that taxes are done, are you okay with everything in your financial planning? If you’re finding that you need some help planning for future needs, etc I can help you get some names of planners who can help. We’re frugal because we know there can be unexpected emergencies and I just want to be sure you’ll be okay. I offered the same to Larla but they seem to have different priorities about being financially responsible.”

This is insufferable taken to a new level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just focus on your parents and ensuring that they have adequate management of their resources. Maybe preemptively ask them now “Well now that taxes are done, are you okay with everything in your financial planning? If you’re finding that you need some help planning for future needs, etc I can help you get some names of planners who can help. We’re frugal because we know there can be unexpected emergencies and I just want to be sure you’ll be okay. I offered the same to Larla but they seem to have different priorities about being financially responsible.”

This is insufferable taken to a new level.

Really? How? It's "insufferable" to offer to help the parents with financial planning so that maybe OP doesn't end up funding their old age after sister sucks up their money?

So what do you recommend? Maybe that, in the name of "telling it like it is," OP should engage in drama and snark about her sister's crappy financial choices instead of acting like the adult in the room and ensuring her parents are thinking about their own futures?

I agree that the last dig about "they seem to have different priorities" is totally unnecessary but otherwise, this is good advice and hands over the financial discussion to a professional if the parents are willing to go that route.

What's insufferable are posters who use that term but then offer no ideas or suggestions of their own. You're no help to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Range Rover did they lease? The dealer in Bethesda has Evoque's for $399/month and the Velar for $499 if you feel like you need one too. We test drove the Evoque and didn't like it but I guess others do.

It’s a big fancy one. It’s over $1,000 a month.

How. Do. You. Know.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why so many people keep asking how she knows how much the car costs. While there is some wiggle room, car prices don't vary all that much. If I tell you I have a 2018 Cadillac SRX and I leased it, you can pretty much figure out what the lease payment is. And if you actually see it, you'll know which trim package it has, so that narrows it down even more.

As someone who has family members who make very stupid financial choices and expect the parents to bail them out, I totally get where OP is coming from. I wonder how many of those here who say to MYOB have experienced this first hand?

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a spoiled brat who is jealous of her sibling.

WHO CARES???

Your sister can spend whatever the eff she wants on a car and if your parents support it and pay for it, so be it.

Focus on your own life - not theirs and please try to get over yourself. It sounds like it will be difficult to get over yourself, OP, but YOU CAN DO IT!

[Anonymous]

OP just ignore all these MYOB people. Some of us get that this is painful for you to watch happen over and over again, and we get that you've been through this before several times. And that you'll likely be the one picking up the pieces when your parents are left with nothing. I think the mean posters are the kind of people who would not step in and find a way to financially help their parents so it's hard for them to connect the dots that would lead to an understanding of how this in fact is very much your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just focus on your parents and ensuring that they have adequate management of their resources. Maybe preemptively ask them now “Well now that taxes are done, are you okay with everything in your financial planning? If you’re finding that you need some help planning for future needs, etc I can help you get some names of planners who can help. We’re frugal because we know there can be unexpected emergencies and I just want to be sure you’ll be okay. I offered the same to Larla but they seem to have different priorities about being financially responsible.”

This is insufferable taken to a new level.

Really? How? It's "insufferable" to offer to help the parents with financial planning so that maybe OP doesn't end up funding their old age after sister sucks up their money?

So what do you recommend? Maybe that, in the name of "telling it like it is," OP should engage in drama and snark about her sister's crappy financial choices instead of acting like the adult in the room and ensuring her parents are thinking about their own futures?

I agree that the last dig about "they seem to have different priorities" is totally unnecessary but otherwise, this is good advice and hands over the financial discussion to a professional if the parents are willing to go that route.

What's insufferable are posters who use that term but then offer no ideas or suggestions of their own. You're no help to OP.

SP- I think it’s insufferable because it’s so passive aggressive. Just say it like it is, directly, and kindly. “I’m worried about how much of your own money you give to Larla and her husband. Are you guys okay financially doing that? I worry because I envision a scenario where you run out of money and it’s a scary scenario.”