Reply to Sister and BIL just leased a luxury SUV I know they can’t afford

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just focus on your parents and ensuring that they have adequate management of their resources.  Maybe preemptively ask them now “Well now that taxes are done, are you okay with everything in your financial planning?  If you’re finding that you need some help planning for future needs, etc I can help you get some names of planners who can help.  We’re frugal because we know there can be unexpected emergencies and I just want to be sure you’ll be okay.  I offered the same to Larla but they seem to have different priorities about being financially responsible.”[/quote]

This is the best response, OP. Mature and realistic.

But I would leave out that last sentence about offering financial planning advice to Larla, etc. Because..don't offer it to Larla and BIL. Focus only on whether your parents are going to be secure in their old age. Not on your inheritance--I really hope you aren't depending even a tiny bit on some speculative inheritance. Not on how mad sister's stupid spending makes you. Focus solely on your parents' ability to look after themselves if medical bills crop up or they have to move to assisted living or need home repairs or, or, or....

Framing all this as "How is your future planning?" and putting it into a professional's hands is the way to go, so parents and sister and BIL can't say you're meddling between them. You know your parents seem to enable sister's poor choices. Involve a professional but do not say it's because you family makes poor choices. If you say that they will shut down and not be receptive to hearing what a professional adviser would say.

And consider laying out for your parents that YOUR funds are fully committed (especially if you are saving for kids' college funds/your own retirement). You can do this in a general way ("We set aside Sally's college fund money each month and our retirement savings and live frugally otherwise...."). Send the message that you aren't able to fund their later years. [/quote]

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