Not inviting the other parent to a special occasion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Are you the Dad's new wife or something? I don't get why you are so insistent that "there is much more behind this" unless you actually know the people involved personally.

DP, but the OP's responses also make me think there's more here than just "dad didn't invite me."

The daughter is asking for her mom to take her to look at venues when the daughter knows that her mom isn't "invited." I think it actually makes more sense that it's assumed the mom will go, but the dad isn't going to issue her a formal invitation or want her to co-host.

I don't know, but I find it really weird that she (mom) won't initiate a talk to the dad about it (whether he talks or not).

Aren't the daugther's other relatives going to ask why he mother isn't at her quincenera?

Mom probably excludes Dad often and Dad is returning the favor. Daughter is asking, not Dad. Mom can let Dad handle it and either work on a better relationship with Dad or have her own party.

[Anonymous]

OP, get his phone number if you don't have it. Call him. Explain as follows....hi, how are you, hope you are doing well, so I know you are hosting a party for DD, that's so great and she's really excited yada yada, since it is such an important milestone it would mean a lot if I could come even if for a short period to also experience this and for DD's sake it would be great to have both parents there, I understand if you're uncomfortable or if there are issues he wants to discuss first, great, but pretty please can you go.

No unnecessary drama needed.

[Anonymous]

You were never married to him and he owes you nothing. Apparently, he is a good father and this is all that counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were never married to him and he owes you nothing. Apparently, he is a good father and this is all that counts.

What does being married or not have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were never married to him and he owes you nothing. Apparently, he is a good father and this is all that counts.

What does being married or not have to do with it?

A lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were never married to him and he owes you nothing. Apparently, he is a good father and this is all that counts.

What does being married or not have to do with it?

A lot!

What is "a lot". They are not married or together now. Exactly what difference does it make if they were in the past with regards to parenting?

[Anonymous]

It's a party for your DD. Make it about her, not you. Your DD s in a terrible position--don't make her choose between her party and you.

[Anonymous]

OP its fine if he wants to do this, but should not be inviting any of your family. His side, her friends etc. would be fine. Honestly, this is what being a ex means.

You are free to host something on your own with your side of the family. Most people I know do all separate birthdays, Xmas etc. with their spouses and own family.

He may feel since your family is her family he should invite them. You're only hearing one side of the story, your daughter may have asked to invite them. It's really not appropriate for you to come.

[Anonymous]

OP, how do you treat Dad? Are you doing 50/50 with flexibility? Do you discuss everything with him and agree? Send him grades and involved him? Do you invite him to family events and parties? Do you nickel and dime him for every expense above child support?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were never married to him and he owes you nothing. Apparently, he is a good father and this is all that counts.

What does being married or not have to do with it?

A lot!

I agree there's a big difference between a wife and gf, but in this case it doesn't matter.

She should be happy she's going to have a nice party, not expect to be invited. Also, I don't know if he's married but it would be very awkward for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, here's what I would do - reach out to his mother. He's being an ass and needs to be called on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she having a church service before the party? He can't stop you from entering the church. I'd go to that.

You're nuts, lol. It's still party crashing when you're not invited. And yes they can stop her, like weddings it's reserved for a portion of time. You sound like a ex stalker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, here's what I would do - reach out to his mother. He's being an ass and needs to be called on it.

Huh? She has no business bothering his mother, and creating more drama.

The host gets to decide on who they want to invite.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a child of divorce, you ex is being a total jerk. These sorts of things were common in my past and it sucks. Your daughter will eventually realize it. It hurts, but just continue supporting your daughter and try to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she having a church service before the party? He can't stop you from entering the church. I'd go to that.

You're nuts, lol. It's still party crashing when you're not invited. And yes they can stop her, like weddings it's reserved for a portion of time. You sound like a ex stalker.

No priest is going to tell the mother she can't come into the church.