Not inviting the other parent to a special occasion

[Anonymous]

Is she having a church service before the party? He can't stop you from entering the church. I'd go to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you invited him and make him feel comfortable? There is clearly more to the story. My husband's ex went out of her by to keep the kids from him and try to replace Dad with her boyfriend. Clearly the dynamic changed when you got married, so what's really going on with you, your husband and Dad? You all need to try harder for your daughter.

Invite him to what? I don't throw parties. For my daughter's birthday she usually has sleepovers. Your story is different than mine. I do not try to replace my daughter's dad with my husband. My husband isn't her dad, but a good male role model in her life. My daughter spends a good portion of her time with her dad every week. I've tried talking to him but he will not talk to me.

Have you offered to pay? I'm cuban and people start planning and discussing these parties over a year before they happen. Taking dance lessons and such. Text him if he won't call you.

No I have not offered to pay. I will think about doing so but at this moment I don't want to reach out to him because 1. I'm not invited so I'm not going to pay 2. I know what his response will be "no, i'm good" and 3. I don't want to ask him to invite me. This is all new information to me. Originally they were just going to have dinner with immediate family which I thought was nice but now its turned into an actual quinceanera.

There will be no church services just a reception and my daughter doesn't want to have "damas or chambelanes" or do a dance other than the one with her dad. She wants a DJ and dance floor and will dance but doesn't want a choreographed dance.

[Anonymous]

I'd show up anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would help him pay for it but he does not talk to me and will not tell me about this party. The information I know is from my daughter. She wanted me to help her look for venues.

Nothing else to the story.

Your daughter is asking you to help plan it, but she knows that her father intends to exclude you? Have you talked to her about that?

I'd stop pretending I don't know about, offer to pay, and then show up even if you don't get a formal invitation.

[Anonymous]

Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

This is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

Then it’s time for you to grow up. This is between your DD and her dad. Not about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

Then it’s time for you to grow up. This is between your DD and her dad. Not about you.

Grow up? I think it's time for the dad to grow up. What kind of an ass doesn't invite the celebrant's mother? Even if he holds a grudge, he should be doing it for his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

Then it’s time for you to grow up. This is between your DD and her dad. Not about you.

Grow up? I think it's time for the dad to grow up. What kind of an ass doesn't invite the celebrant's mother? Even if he holds a grudge, he should be doing it for his daughter.

Agree. Exactly how is OP suppose to "grow up"? The father is terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

Then it’s time for you to grow up. This is between your DD and her dad. Not about you.

Grow up? I think it's time for the dad to grow up. What kind of an ass doesn't invite the celebrant's mother? Even if he holds a grudge, he should be doing it for his daughter.

Agree. Exactly how is OP suppose to "grow up"? The father is terrible.

She probably excludes him. There is much more behind this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which parent is hispanic?

You?

Him?

Or both?

Both.

Yes my daughter knows her dad is not inviting me. It was expected and she knows how he is.

Then it’s time for you to grow up. This is between your DD and her dad. Not about you.

Grow up? I think it's time for the dad to grow up. What kind of an ass doesn't invite the celebrant's mother? Even if he holds a grudge, he should be doing it for his daughter.

Agree. Exactly how is OP suppose to "grow up"? The father is terrible.

She probably excludes him. There is much more behind this.

Are you the Dad's new wife or something? I don't get why you are so insistent that "there is much more behind this" unless you actually know the people involved personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you invited him and make him feel comfortable? There is clearly more to the story. My husband's ex went out of her by to keep the kids from him and try to replace Dad with her boyfriend. Clearly the dynamic changed when you got married, so what's really going on with you, your husband and Dad? You all need to try harder for your daughter.

Invite him to what? I don't throw parties. For my daughter's birthday she usually has sleepovers. Your story is different than mine. I do not try to replace my daughter's dad with my husband. My husband isn't her dad, but a good male role model in her life. My daughter spends a good portion of her time with her dad every week. I've tried talking to him but he will not talk to me.

Have you offered to pay? I'm cuban and people start planning and discussing these parties over a year before they happen. Taking dance lessons and such. Text him if he won't call you.

No I have not offered to pay. I will think about doing so but at this moment I don't want to reach out to him because 1. I'm not invited so I'm not going to pay 2. I know what his response will be "no, i'm good" and 3. I don't want to ask him to invite me. This is all new information to me. Originally they were just going to have dinner with immediate family which I thought was nice but now its turned into an actual quinceanera.

There will be no church services just a reception and my daughter doesn't want to have "damas or chambelanes" or do a dance other than the one with her dad. She wants a DJ and dance floor and will dance but doesn't want a choreographed dance.[u]

So, really this just a big birthday party.

Just look at it like that how HE is choosing to celebrate your daughters birthday this year, and YOU can choose to celebrate with her in a different way; maybe a mother/daughter vacation somewhere.

No, I wouldn't go dress shopping for it, he needs to handle that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would help him pay for it but he does not talk to me and will not tell me about this party. The information I know is from my daughter. She wanted me to help her look for venues.

Nothing else to the story.

No. That would be inappropriate. He is the host so he needs to research and choose the venue (and caterer, dj, photographer, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Are you the Dad's new wife or something? I don't get why you are so insistent that "there is much more behind this" unless you actually know the people involved personally.

DP, but the OP's responses also make me think there's more here than just "dad didn't invite me."

The daughter is asking for her mom to take her to look at venues when the daughter knows that her mom isn't "invited." I think it actually makes more sense that it's assumed the mom will go, but the dad isn't going to issue her a formal invitation or want her to co-host.

I don't know, but I find it really weird that she (mom) won't initiate a talk to the dad about it (whether he talks or not).

Aren't the daugther's other relatives going to ask why he mother isn't at her quincenera?