No RSVP? I’m deleting you from the evite!

[Anonymous]

I feel pretty proud if I remember to pick my kids up... I probably meant to RSVP then thought I better check with Bob or first go see when the dance recital is to know if there was a conflict then call my mom to see if that was the day she needed me to driver her to Polly's etc. And by the time I get through all that I have completely forgotten that what started it was an RSVP. Then at some point in the recesses of my mind, the word birthday party burbles up and I start searching through my emails to see if I forgot something. Maybe I find your invite or maybe I don't or maybe I get sidetracked my one of 50 other things going on. And then on Friday Billy asks me about Bobby's party because its tomorrow and I think oh shit, there was a party invite and apparently it was for tomorrow, and then I can't find the details and I think I am imagining that I saw it at some point. At that point I probably either text Mary, Sue or Sally to see if they know anything about the party or else I bribe Billy and tell him we can't go to the party and I will buy him his own cupcake and present instead and he will get annoyed until he sinks into a sugar coma and forgets what he was annoyed about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m good at rsvping but I sometimes wait until last minute if we have up in the air plans. My family may visit, we may go skiing, our family friends are coming to DC, etc.

I RSVP no right away if we have solid plans already and yes if it is a good friend and we are free.

Do you understand that it’s rude toward the host to wait until the last minute? Not even to rsvp as a maybe?

Throughout the years, I have been the one upset about lack of timely RSVPs. I had a party this past weekend and had a family not rsvp at all and show up with 3 kids. I had extra favors.

I used to get all bent out of shape about headcount and favors but it all works out.

I have had people rsvp the day of asking if they can come. I say sure even though inside I think they are rude. I have invited neighbors last minute when we had extra space. It is just a birthday party. My oldest child is now 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m good at rsvping but I sometimes wait until last minute if we have up in the air plans. My family may visit, we may go skiing, our family friends are coming to DC, etc.

I RSVP no right away if we have solid plans already and yes if it is a good friend and we are free.

Do you understand that it’s rude toward the host to wait until the last minute? Not even to rsvp as a maybe?

I understand waiting to rsvp bc you may have visitors but may go skiing? That sounds like you’re waiting to see if something better comes along. I figure if people rsvp maybe then they aren’t going to show but didn’t want to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's rude not to RSVP, but I wouldnt turn them away. I dont believe in punishing my DS or another little kid just because their parent is socially clueless.

Totally agree. If they forgot to click yes but told her kid about the party would you really turn them away? That’s awful. And I’m a stickler for rules in general

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine also. They can't be bothered? Or are they waiting to hedge their bets and see if a better offer comes along? Well, this offer is now closed.

No, a lot of people have a life, full of work meetings and trips, health issues, sports' competitions, and other real-life events, so sometimes they can't say right away if they will be available for snowflake little party or if they will have someone to drive Larla there. If they didn't answer a NO right away, it's because they care and are considering going to it. At least in many cases.

So you're busy, so's everyone else. It's rude to the host, who has to plan out the appropriate amount of food, goodie bags and other supplies and sometimes give the venue a final headcount. If it's 3 days before a party, and you still can't figure out if you're available, then obviously you are just too busy so decline.

She said she doesn’t want to wait until 3 days before the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine also. They can't be bothered? Or are they waiting to hedge their bets and see if a better offer comes along? Well, this offer is now closed.

No, a lot of people have a life, full of work meetings and trips, health issues, sports' competitions, and other real-life events, so sometimes they can't say right away if they will be available for snowflake little party or if they will have someone to drive Larla there. If they didn't answer a NO right away, it's because they care and are considering going to it. At least in many cases.

So you're busy, so's everyone else. It's rude to the host, who has to plan out the appropriate amount of food, goodie bags and other supplies and sometimes give the venue a final headcount. If it's 3 days before a party, and you still can't figure out if you're available, then obviously you are just too busy so decline.

She said she doesn’t want to wait until 3 days before the party.

Actually, I re-read it. Delete them, you are right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's rude not to RSVP, but I wouldnt turn them away. I dont believe in punishing my DS or another little kid just because their parent is socially clueless.

Totally agree. If they forgot to click yes but told her kid about the party would you really turn them away? That’s awful. And I’m a stickler for rules in general

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then you turn them away. I would. I would be very matter of fact, but I would turn them away. Very one of them. They can explain it to their children.

It might be just a rare oversight on their part. It happens. It is not, however, on me to make allowances

Wow you must thrive on drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you turn them away. I would. I would be very matter of fact, but I would turn them away. Very one of them. They can explain it to their children.

It might be just a rare oversight on their part. It happens. It is not, however, on me to make allowances

Wow you must thrive on drama.

Exactly. No one cares that much about your party.

[Anonymous]

I was invited after the RSVP date. How rude is that one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty proud if I remember to pick my kids up... I probably meant to RSVP then thought I better check with Bob or first go see when the dance recital is to know if there was a conflict then call my mom to see if that was the day she needed me to driver her to Polly's etc. And by the time I get through all that I have completely forgotten that what started it was an RSVP. Then at some point in the recesses of my mind, the word birthday party burbles up and I start searching through my emails to see if I forgot something. Maybe I find your invite or maybe I don't or maybe I get sidetracked my one of 50 other things going on. And then on Friday Billy asks me about Bobby's party because its tomorrow and I think oh shit, there was a party invite and apparently it was for tomorrow, and then I can't find the details and I think I am imagining that I saw it at some point. At that point I probably either text Mary, Sue or Sally to see if they know anything about the party or else I bribe Billy and tell him we can't go to the party and I will buy him his own cupcake and present instead and he will get annoyed until he sinks into a sugar coma and forgets what he was annoyed about.

NP. I'm glad you're not in my circle. We're all busy. We all have a lot going on. You're not so special.

It's called grow up, get a calender. It really isn't that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's rude not to RSVP, but I wouldnt turn them away. I dont believe in punishing my DS or another little kid just because their parent is socially clueless.

Totally agree. If they forgot to click yes but told her kid about the party would you really turn them away? That’s awful. And I’m a stickler for rules in general

+2

+100

[Anonymous]

In my years of doing parties, I have never had anyone shown up who didn’t rsvp. The key is not to throw whole class parties- people tend to rsvp when they are actually friends with the birthday child.

The “too busy” posters are full of it. There are always a set of parents who RSVP right away (as I do) - they get the invite, check calendar, respond. Takes 2 minutes. If you genuinely have things up in the air, then most people will respond by the time Evite sends out the automatic reminder- which you can set to whatever your deadline is. I’ve never had parents NOT respond after getting the Evite reminder email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's rude not to RSVP, but I wouldnt turn them away. I dont believe in punishing my DS or another little kid just because their parent is socially clueless.

Totally agree. If they forgot to click yes but told her kid about the party would you really turn them away? That’s awful. And I’m a stickler for rules in general

+2

It always seems like it’s the SAHM who do not RSVP. So if a person who is doing nothing else but caring for the kid/s does not RSVP and there is no room or food for kid/s ...yes it’s awful...but the kid/s always know who dropped the ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty proud if I remember to pick my kids up... I probably meant to RSVP then thought I better check with Bob or first go see when the dance recital is to know if there was a conflict then call my mom to see if that was the day she needed me to driver her to Polly's etc. And by the time I get through all that I have completely forgotten that what started it was an RSVP. Then at some point in the recesses of my mind, the word birthday party burbles up and I start searching through my emails to see if I forgot something. Maybe I find your invite or maybe I don't or maybe I get sidetracked my one of 50 other things going on. And then on Friday Billy asks me about Bobby's party because its tomorrow and I think oh shit, there was a party invite and apparently it was for tomorrow, and then I can't find the details and I think I am imagining that I saw it at some point. At that point I probably either text Mary, Sue or Sally to see if they know anything about the party or else I bribe Billy and tell him we can't go to the party and I will buy him his own cupcake and present instead and he will get annoyed until he sinks into a sugar coma and forgets what he was annoyed about.

You know what? You need to give Mommy back her phone and wait until your old enough to know how to use the Calendar app before you come onto a big girl site like DCUM.

Run along now.