No RSVP? I’m deleting you from the evite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh no! you mean I don't get to drive my kid to a bounce house? I'm crushed.

Sorry but this made me LOL. I remember those days and not fondly. The venues are always far flung and the parties, sterile and corporate.

Mom of 3 teens

So RSVP NO.

why is this so hard, and fraught with so much drama? Not your thing? Say no!

This! If you think kids' birthday parties are stupid, or it's just such an inconvenience to attend one...then RSVP no. It's fine. I know that not everyone will be able to attend. But it's frustrating not to know how many people to expect because people who think they are just so above it all can't be bothered to click a button!

It's rude not to RSVP. Period. Your million excuses for why you just can't be bothered to tell the host whether or not you are coming are irrelevant. My kid isn't a snowflake, and we aren't going to be devastated if you don't come, we just want to know how many cupcakes we need. I have literally never heard a single excuse for not RSVPing that was legitimate. If you can't come, say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh no! you mean I don't get to drive my kid to a bounce house? I'm crushed.

Sorry but this made me LOL. I remember those days and not fondly. The venues are always far flung and the parties, sterile and corporate.

Mom of 3 teens

So RSVP NO.

why is this so hard, and fraught with so much drama? Not your thing? Say no!

This! If you think kids' birthday parties are stupid, or it's just such an inconvenience to attend one...then RSVP no. It's fine. I know that not everyone will be able to attend. But it's frustrating not to know how many people to expect because people who think they are just so above it all can't be bothered to click a button!

It's rude not to RSVP. Period. Your million excuses for why you just can't be bothered to tell the host whether or not you are coming are irrelevant. My kid isn't a snowflake, and we aren't going to be devastated if you don't come, we just want to know how many cupcakes we need. I have literally never heard a single excuse for not RSVPing that was legitimate. If you can't come, say so.

Sing it!

[Anonymous]

I see your douche-baggery and raise you one jerky move. Checkmate? Whatever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty proud if I remember to pick my kids up... I probably meant to RSVP then thought I better check with Bob or first go see when the dance recital is to know if there was a conflict then call my mom to see if that was the day she needed me to driver her to Polly's etc. And by the time I get through all that I have completely forgotten that what started it was an RSVP. Then at some point in the recesses of my mind, the word birthday party burbles up and I start searching through my emails to see if I forgot something. Maybe I find your invite or maybe I don't or maybe I get sidetracked my one of 50 other things going on. And then on Friday Billy asks me about Bobby's party because its tomorrow and I think oh shit, there was a party invite and apparently it was for tomorrow, and then I can't find the details and I think I am imagining that I saw it at some point. At that point I probably either text Mary, Sue or Sally to see if they know anything about the party or else I bribe Billy and tell him we can't go to the party and I will buy him his own cupcake and present instead and he will get annoyed until he sinks into a sugar coma and forgets what he was annoyed about.

You know what? You need to give Mommy back her phone and wait until your old enough to know how to use the Calendar app before you come onto a big girl site like DCUM.

Run along now.

I think you might have ADHD, 1st PP. I have it too. My brain works exactly the way yours does. That is why I HAVE to RSVP right away. I do it RIGHTTHENANDTHERE, so I will not forget. I put it on our family shared calendar (COZI). IF I don't, my brain goes down into rabbit holes the way you described. You have to find a better system than the one you currently have, because it doesn't sound like it is working for you. And please know, even though it feels normal to you (and me), it's not to the rest of the world and you will be perceived as rude, or flaky, or something else negative I am assuming you don't want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's very petty. Did you send a reminder? Your kid's party is really not that important.

If the party isn't that important, why/how is this petty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's very petty. Did you send a reminder? Your kid's party is really not that important.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's very petty. Did you send a reminder? Your kid's party is really not that important.

+1

Then you shouldn’t be worried about attending or not.

You were invited. Youre so self involved that you really need a reminder?

[Anonymous]

People are busy and mean well. I open invites and have good intentions of replying, but need to check my schedule and confer with my DH to make sure I'm not overcommitting. This takes time, and sometimes I get busy and forget. A reminder doesn't hurt. And really is it going to be that big of a deal to accomodate a few stragglers? I always do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty proud if I remember to pick my kids up... I probably meant to RSVP then thought I better check with Bob or first go see when the dance recital is to know if there was a conflict then call my mom to see if that was the day she needed me to driver her to Polly's etc. And by the time I get through all that I have completely forgotten that what started it was an RSVP. Then at some point in the recesses of my mind, the word birthday party burbles up and I start searching through my emails to see if I forgot something. Maybe I find your invite or maybe I don't or maybe I get sidetracked my one of 50 other things going on. And then on Friday Billy asks me about Bobby's party because its tomorrow and I think oh shit, there was a party invite and apparently it was for tomorrow, and then I can't find the details and I think I am imagining that I saw it at some point. At that point I probably either text Mary, Sue or Sally to see if they know anything about the party or else I bribe Billy and tell him we can't go to the party and I will buy him his own cupcake and present instead and he will get annoyed until he sinks into a sugar coma and forgets what he was annoyed about.

This is when you consider ADD medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it! But be prepared for people just to show up anyway, without having RSVPed. Because when some people are rude, they go all the way!

I think this usually doesn’t happen. Most people don’t memorize the party details - especially if they haven’t RSVPd ahead of time. Do you really remember the exact time and location of every invitation? I don’t - I usually have to check the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooooo don't delete me from the evite I was never invested in. Anything but that!

Too cool for school. Or so you wish.

Yeah, I don’t get these people - if you don’t want to go to the party why do you care?

The only people who are affected are the people who don’t RSVP AND want to show up last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are busy and mean well. I open invites and have good intentions of replying, but need to check my schedule and confer with my DH to make sure I'm not overcommitting. This takes time, and sometimes I get busy and forget. A reminder doesn't hurt. And really is it going to be that big of a deal to accomodate a few stragglers? I always do.

Again, you don’t have a smart phone an a calendar? If you’re on th computer, surely have access to your calendar (especially considering everything is on every device these days... you’re harly going home to check your handwritten moose calendar in it’s teal and terra-cotta frame).

You have no idea of the plans made with you and your child in two weeks?

And again.. if your life requires the kind of planning and negotiations required of g7 summits, you need a calendar, or to JUST SAY NO, because you are clearly not that interested in attending. These are not invitations coming out 6 months in advance. They are not summonses. If it doesn’t work, you can say no.

[Anonymous]

Also - when you RSVP, evite allows you to add the event to your google or iPhone calendar. I usually never look at the invite again after RSVPing unless I need to car pool or child wants to know who else is coming.

Seriously, it takes zero time to do this- maybe 3 minutes. The “too busy” / flakey posters create more work for themselves claiming how they are too busy to do simple tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also - when you RSVP, evite allows you to add the event to your google or iPhone calendar. I usually never look at the invite again after RSVPing unless I need to car pool or child wants to know who else is coming.

Seriously, it takes zero time to do this- maybe 3 minutes. The “too busy” / flakey posters create more work for themselves claiming how they are too busy to do simple tasks.

It's the ones who attempt to duck responsibility by referring to the birthday kid as a snowflake who really kill me. No one cares if you're coming or not, just respond.

We're all busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are busy and mean well. I open invites and have good intentions of replying, but need to check my schedule and confer with my DH to make sure I'm not overcommitting. This takes time, and sometimes I get busy and forget. A reminder doesn't hurt. And really is it going to be that big of a deal to accomodate a few stragglers? I always do.

Again, you don’t have a smart phone an a calendar? If you’re on th computer, surely have access to your calendar (especially considering everything is on every device these days... you’re harly going home to check your handwritten moose calendar in it’s teal and terra-cotta frame).

You have no idea of the plans made with you and your child in two weeks?

And again.. if your life requires the kind of planning and negotiations required of g7 summits, you need a calendar, or to JUST SAY NO, because you are clearly not that interested in attending. These are not invitations coming out 6 months in advance. They are not summonses. If it doesn’t work, you can say no.

For example, I have a conflict between my iphone calendar and my google calendar, so I have to check both. And I have a DH that forgets to enter things in, or share them with me. So it's wise to run it by him before I add another commitment. Sometimes he can't get back to me during the work day (meetings, etc). And DD is in a sport 5 days a week. So the schedule is tight, but DD really would love to go, so rather than just saying no, we try to make it work. And sometimes it takes time to give you an answer, and sometimes despite good intentions it gets put on the back burner.