Can an affair ever end well?

[Anonymous]

Mine has been going on for 4 + years. It’s been hard at times but eventually I accepted we could never truly be together. He lives in DC and I have moved out of state. We see each other every 3 or so months.

[Anonymous]

Why does it have to end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to end?

This. It's been years and keeps getting better in every way - the friendship, the sex, the emotional support. At this point we've got the logistics down to a science- unknown to anyone.

To the extent I can predict anything, I'll say this relationship will keep being a part of my life.

[Anonymous]

No. Because even if your spouse doesn’t find out, you’re still indulging in selfish behavior that could devastate another human being!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to end?

This. It's been years and keeps getting better in every way - the friendship, the sex, the emotional support. At this point we've got the logistics down to a science- unknown to anyone.

To the extent I can predict anything, I'll say this relationship will keep being a part of my life.

Why the heck don't you just leave your spouse and marry this person? You are so weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to end?

This. It's been years and keeps getting better in every way - the friendship, the sex, the emotional support. At this point we've got the logistics down to a science- unknown to anyone.

To the extent I can predict anything, I'll say this relationship will keep being a part of my life.

Why the heck don't you just leave your spouse and marry this person? You are so weird!

There are a million threads on DCUM about this question. They always get very heated and nobody changes their mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to end?

This. It's been years and keeps getting better in every way - the friendship, the sex, the emotional support. At this point we've got the logistics down to a science- unknown to anyone.

To the extent I can predict anything, I'll say this relationship will keep being a part of my life.

Why the heck don't you just leave your spouse and marry this person? You are so weird!

because this is a sick person living a double life. You can't reason with someone that needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had an affair with his sister in law (my aunt). They got married after they both divorced from their spouses (my mom and uncle), and they have been together for twenty years.

Awkward.

Was the now wife, former SIL your dad's his brother's wife, or his wife's sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to end?

This. It's been years and keeps getting better in every way - the friendship, the sex, the emotional support. At this point we've got the logistics down to a science- unknown to anyone.

To the extent I can predict anything, I'll say this relationship will keep being a part of my life.

Why the heck don't you just leave your spouse and marry this person? You are so weird!

because this is a sick person living a double life. You can't reason with someone that needs help.

Agreed. My friends wife had an AP for only for a few months and asked for a divorce. After he hired a PI, everything came out and his wife and kids now are going through counseling because she cause lots of emotional damage within the house. Her behavior drastically changed the effected the young kids and he is moving forward. Affairs cannot end well. If a spouse is unhappy, just be strong enough and tell the other spouse the marriage is not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex married the woman he had an affair with. So far, they’d say it ended well.

I know a few couples like this. They're happy and just view it as fate with unfortunate collateral damage. They enjoy their kids and happy families now and we have to pretend we don't know how it all got started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex married the woman he had an affair with. So far, they’d say it ended well.

I know a few couples like this. They're happy and just view it as fate with unfortunate collateral damage. They enjoy their kids and happy families now and we have to pretend we don't know how it all got started.

From experience, after 18 years of marriage my XW had an AP. Kids are aware of what happened because she married him and they had a difficult forgiving her. As to the AP, the kids want no part of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex married the woman he had an affair with. So far, they’d say it ended well.

I know a few couples like this. They're happy and just view it as fate with unfortunate collateral damage. They enjoy their kids and happy families now and we have to pretend we don't know how it all got started.

From experience, after 18 years of marriage my XW had an AP. Kids are aware of what happened because she married him and they had a difficult forgiving her. As to the AP, the kids want no part of him.

Sad to here that. I am going through the same thing right now. Besides counseling for the kids and me showing affection as a loving parent, is there any advice you can provide to lessen the pain/angry cause by my STBXW. I do not talk bad about her but the kids are lashing out even when she tries to call or ask if they want to visit her. I just came reminding the kids that their mother loves them. And yes, it is painful on my part know that her extra marital affair caused our divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean what if we just want exactly the same thing and nobody finds out? Can it end well?

No. It stains your soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean what if we just want exactly the same thing and nobody finds out? Can it end well?

No. It stains your soul.

+1000. An affair will come out and ruining lots of relationships. Work on your marriage or move on. If there are kids, you are selfish and do not deserve to have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean what if we just want exactly the same thing and nobody finds out? Can it end well?

No. It stains your soul.

Not if you are emotionally done with the marriage and plan to divorce...