Dreading visit from smelly ILs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably their house/clothes/hair.

I was at someone's house recently and their cleaners were there. The cleaners were using a vacuum that had a ... musty? smell. It was bad. The whole house stunk for hours. My parents' house has a scent. Not mothball, but just...I don't know. I don't like it, but it's not offensive or off-putting. It just permeated everything they come into contact with. It's odd.

Pet dander and dust in the vacuum can REEK

[Anonymous]

Both my mother and MIL would be totally mortified if they smelled for years and I never let them know.

Not easy to do but nice ways to tell people you notice an odor.
People who love people do not let them stink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's probably their house/clothes/hair.

I was at someone's house recently and their cleaners were there. The cleaners were using a vacuum that had a ... musty? smell. It was bad. The whole house stunk for hours. My parents' house has a scent. Not mothball, but just...I don't know. I don't like it, but it's not offensive or off-putting. It just permeated everything they come into contact with. It's odd.

Pet dander and dust in the vacuum can REEK

These people don't smell like pets, they smell like ass. It gets in their clothes, they are now nose blind and the funk follows them very where .
Very sad and smelly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need an objective 3rd party opinion. Haven't you ever traveled with them somewhere else? Or has a friend or your parents or siblings ever been to your house at the same time? Are you the only one who notices this supposed scent?

The scent is not supposed.

DH and I have been together for 15 years. I noticed a mild scent in the beginning when I started having dinners at DH parent's place, but it wasn't so overpowering that I couldn't stand to be in the house. Maybe because they've aged and are less able to clean their house or themselves thoroughly, the stench has worsened over time.

We don't have family in the area, so when ILs visit, it's just them and my immediate family. And when we've visited ILs in the past, they've had other visitors, but I imagine if others notice the bad smell, they are just as uncomfortable talking about it as I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had better all be from the same ethnic and cultural background for you to be writing this, OP. If not, have the sense to have Jeff delete this thread.

+ 1

Huh?

Yeah, i don't get it either.

You really are so dense that you don't get how deeply offensive it would be if OP were a white woman commenting on "the smell" of her black, or Indian, or Mexican American ILs? Or if OP were an Indian woman commenting on "the smell" of her white or Japanese ILs?

If they smell, they smell. Why would you ignore that just because of somebody's ethnicity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they have pets?

Nope, no pets. But their home is packed with stuff, lots and lots of stuff. And while everything is neatly in its place, things are not necessarily clean.

Thank you to the posters who get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL would be totally mortified if they smelled for years and I never let them know.

Not easy to do but nice ways to tell people you notice an odor.
People who love people do not let them stink.

OP here. So what nice ways would you tell people you love that they have a terrible stench?

As wonderful as ILs are, I don't see any way to tell them without them feeling completely humiliating them and DH being mad at me forever.

I don't have any ideas. But would love to hear if you do.

[Anonymous]

If it’s their house, too, and not just them, is it possibly a mold odor?

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to check up on them and tell them. They might have mental or physical health issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s their house, too, and not just them, is it possibly a mold odor?

mold and humidity smell and it sticks to the clothes.
My apartment in Adams Morgan is very humid and moldy (the walls get dark green/ the paint peels and need to be repainted every few months). I need to keep the place very clean or else the smell sticks to the clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL would be totally mortified if they smelled for years and I never let them know.

Not easy to do but nice ways to tell people you notice an odor.
People who love people do not let them stink.

OP here. So what nice ways would you tell people you love that they have a terrible stench?

As wonderful as ILs are, I don't see any way to tell them without them feeling completely humiliating them and DH being mad at me forever.

I don't have any ideas. But would love to hear if you do.

Not your place to tell them....DH should or perhaps one of his siblings? You can't be the only one who notices and if I were your ILs I would definitely want to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL would be totally mortified if they smelled for years and I never let them know.

Not easy to do but nice ways to tell people you notice an odor.
People who love people do not let them stink.

OP here. So what nice ways would you tell people you love that they have a terrible stench?

As wonderful as ILs are, I don't see any way to tell them without them feeling completely humiliating them and DH being mad at me forever.

I don't have any ideas. But would love to hear if you do.

Pull her to the side , "Mom Janice, I notice a little odor today. I hate to even mention it but figure you would hate it if I didn't. My girlfriend Theresa had to tell me the other week. I think my deodorant stopped working and I'm trying a new one . So let me know if it's not working( make big eyes)
we girls have to stick together and help each other out(wink)'
Hey, have a family that will tell you in a heartbeat if you stink. DH has no filter and my mom either. Plus we are all obsessive about personal hygiene and want to smell clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL would be totally mortified if they smelled for years and I never let them know.

Not easy to do but nice ways to tell people you notice an odor.
People who love people do not let them stink.

OP here. So what nice ways would you tell people you love that they have a terrible stench?

As wonderful as ILs are, I don't see any way to tell them without them feeling completely humiliating them and DH being mad at me forever.

I don't have any ideas. But would love to hear if you do.

Not your place to tell them....DH should or perhaps one of his siblings? You can't be the only one who notices and if I were your ILs I would definitely want to know.

Better coming from the daughter in law than the son.

[Anonymous]

I believe you that they have a smell--my MILs house has a particular smell (not bad, just different) that I notice when I am first there, and my SIL wears just way too much perfume and my house smells after she has been there. Is it possible that it has been so much worse for you the last few years because of pregnancy hormones? When I was pregnant (even before I knew) I complained incessantly about smells that my husband could not smell. I'm normally pretty sensitive to smells, but being pregnant and postpartum it was so much worse and overwhelming. Anyway--this is a known pregnancy thing and perhaps you could use that as a cover to say something to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had better all be from the same ethnic and cultural background for you to be writing this, OP. If not, have the sense to have Jeff delete this thread.

+ 1

Huh?

Yeah, i don't get it either.

You really are so dense that you don't get how deeply offensive it would be if OP were a white woman commenting on "the smell" of her black, or Indian, or Mexican American ILs? Or if OP were an Indian woman commenting on "the smell" of her white or Japanese ILs?

I'm black and if I had a white friend/relative/spouse tell me I smell,I would not be offended , I WOULD WASH MY ASS

Bravo! Not everything is racial. Geez!

I think it is far more racist of those posters who automatically assumed OPs in laws were a minority and called OP racist.