Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.

I mean I could jump on this line of thinking too...but the bottom line answer to the question is still YES. I absolutely *do* feel jealous of mothers who have more money than I do to spend on every material thing their kids' hearts desire. 100%.

But I also know there is some jealousy there too (sometimes--though maybe not as much as I think? who knows!) when I "get to" be at the school field trips or random "class presentations" that parents are invited to...or that I can go pick up my kid from the clinic or run them to the dentist or doctor's office without the stress of taking off work to do it.

Its a tradeoff. And I realize that. Most of the time I'm totally okay with my trade. But I do get house/vacation envy sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1000000

My sister works 60 hours a week. They have an incredible house, cars, designer clothes, and take vacations.

I am a SAHM. Our house is modest, we have one car, and my clothes are from Old Navy.

My time with my boys is more valuable.

+1 to this. But I'm still envious of the house/car/designers clothes and vacations. Not gonna lie. Having it all is a mostly a myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah I'm pretty happy with what we have. HHI ~ 700k + reasonable work hours (50ish).

I wish we were more connected though. I worry about their chances of getting into "good" colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1.
BIL has a trust fund; he doesn't work and is totally useless around the house, including raising this kids. However, they are paying up for all kinds of help and services, and life it good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1000000

My sister works 60 hours a week. They have an incredible house, cars, designer clothes, and take vacations.

I am a SAHM. Our house is modest, we have one car, and my clothes are from Old Navy.

My time with my boys is more valuable.

+1 to this. But I'm still envious of the house/car/designers clothes and vacations. Not gonna lie. Having it all is a mostly a myth.

Unless you are born into it. Case in point - Ivanka Trump.

[Anonymous]

No not really but many of my neighbors and moms of kid's friends are very jealous of people with large houses, people with houses in better school systems. Its annoying but they spend too much time trashing McMansions and the W schools while alternating back to wishing they had a huge house and were in one of those better schools. I've been tempted to record some of them just to force them to pick a side -you either have disdain for the big house/top school or you want it. I don't care which just don't yo-yo back and forth all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.

You keep telling yourself that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1. I have a few friends who make a ton of money but rarely see their kids and seem to work nonstop. I have even more friends with husbands who make a ton of money but they are NEVER home. I do not envy that. But family money or the rare huge salary in a cushy job, yes, for sure.

That’s a good point ... I have two friends who are SAHM’s, one married to a Biglaw partner, the other to a higher-up in consulting. Big $$$ jobs and the dads are basically never home and also travel for work a lot. Now granted - they have a high income so the SAHM is able to hire out for this and that. Cleaning services, lots of babysitters and mothers’ helpers, meal deliveries, etc. But managing all that - ensuring that one of your babysitters can come last minute when your husband gets called out of town but you have an evening PT conference or some other obligation - is stressful in and of itself.

So do I wish we had more money? Of course! But I’m also happy I get to see my husband (a GS-15 fed) on evenings and weekends, and that he likes his job, and gets to do his actual work without having to get into the politics of “supervising” or project management. Everything’s a trade-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1. I have a few friends who make a ton of money but rarely see their kids and seem to work nonstop. I have even more friends with husbands who make a ton of money but they are NEVER home. I do not envy that. But family money or the rare huge salary in a cushy job, yes, for sure.

+2
One of the reasons I don't make more money is because I value time with my family too much to give it up for long hours at work. But if money just fell into my lap, like a big inheritance, or I wrote a bestselling book series that made me rich? Yeah, that would make life easier in a lot of ways.

[Anonymous]

Also if you’re just making it into the upper reaches you see the huge range. We are extremely fortunate but we just can’t keep up - at every parent get together it’s a lot of talking of travel plans to Europe or skiing for every break, what sports their kids are doing at the club they belong to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah I'm pretty happy with what we have. HHI ~ 700k + reasonable work hours (50ish).

I wish we were more connected though. I worry about their chances of getting into "good" colleges.

I see your and raise you:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah I'm pretty happy with what we have. HHI ~ 700k + reasonable work hours (50ish).

I wish we were more connected though. I worry about their chances of getting into "good" colleges.

You ARE the mom with more money, dodo bird

[Anonymous]

Of course. Just like I'm envious of the ones with great skin, perfect figures, a fulfilling job, etc. There are always people who have it better than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.

You can be a rich SAHM with a nanny just to give a hand. That is what I would love!!

I am a rich SAHM with a trust-fund from my biological maternal grandmother, and I outsource as much as I can (except childcare) for three households - ours, ILs and parents. ILs and parents live close to us and we want them to be able to spend quality family time with us, take care of their health and not be stressed about doing routine stuff in their homes. We have put in place a cleaning service, yard maintenance, handyman, cooking/prep person, yoga instructor and a masseuse for our parents. They are pretty healthy and active people, financially stable, fiscally responsible, who are retired and maybe do not need all the help that we give them now, but, we want to make sure that we have thought through everything that can make their lives easier and healthier so that they spend more time with us and our kids. I think services that buys you more time with your family is a great use of money. For our income, we are pretty average materially (homes, cars, clothes). Our money is spent on less visible things like - organic food, vacations, hobbies, staffing. In another 10-15 years, if we see the need we will also hire a part-time chauffeur/attendant for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.

+1000000

My sister works 60 hours a week. They have an incredible house, cars, designer clothes, and take vacations.

I am a SAHM. Our house is modest, we have one car, and my clothes are from Old Navy.

My time with my boys is more valuable.

+1 to this. But I'm still envious of the house/car/designers clothes and vacations. Not gonna lie. Having it all is a mostly a myth.

Unless you are born into it. Case in point - Ivanka Trump.

Yeah, but she has to sleep with Jared Kushner so there is that (puke! he looks like a slimy androgenous lizard)! I did not blame her for salivating and eye-fuc$$king Justin T!