Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.

You can be a rich SAHM with a nanny just to give a hand. That is what I would love!!

I am a rich SAHM with a trust-fund from my biological maternal grandmother, and I outsource as much as I can (except childcare) for three households - ours, ILs and parents. ILs and parents live close to us and we want them to be able to spend quality family time with us, take care of their health and not be stressed about doing routine stuff in their homes. We have put in place a cleaning service, yard maintenance, handyman, cooking/prep person, yoga instructor and a masseuse for our parents. They are pretty healthy and active people, financially stable, fiscally responsible, who are retired and maybe do not need all the help that we give them now, but, we want to make sure that we have thought through everything that can make their lives easier and healthier so that they spend more time with us and our kids. I think services that buys you more time with your family is a great use of money. For our income, we are pretty average materially (homes, cars, clothes). Our money is spent on less visible things like - organic food, vacations, hobbies, staffing. In another 10-15 years, if we see the need we will also hire a part-time chauffeur/attendant for them.

The OP just flew over your head. Way to brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician, so we can afford what we need and much of what we want. The thing is, I don't really want a bunch of nannies and household help in my personal space helping me out. I want my own husband to be home more often so he can help me raise our kids like I thought he would when we got married.

Physician wife here—- I feel you. It’s lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah I'm pretty happy with what we have. HHI ~ 700k + reasonable work hours (50ish).

I wish we were more connected though. I worry about their chances of getting into "good" colleges.

WTH? You ARE one of the wealthy mothers she's talking about. LMAO to think that you think you aren't jealous of people who have "more" money. You are out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the wealthy moms posting about their wealth in this thread? Money can buy a lot of things but apparently not class.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last time I checked, we were still in America. Money makes so many things easier.

But *too much* money makes so many things harder. You have to find the sweet spot.

+1

We've found that sweet spot. I SAH, my DH has a super flexible schedule, we have a nanny, my mom lives with us, our kids go to private school and our marriage is genuinely strong. We take 4-6 vacations a year, we donate time and money to charity, and our kids are happy/healthy. I'm terrified at how happy we are and am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Anonymous]

I guess you could say we are in an enviable situation...I have a high earning husband which allows me to work PT at a meaningful job that pays relatively well. We have a FT nanny, and never max out her hours, but keep her FT for sick days, school vacations, etc since both of us have somewhat irregular work hours. My husband is a very hands on dad, and we are fortunate enough to send our kids to private and have vacation homes in desireable locations.

My question is—would you be less likely to befriend people with “more money?” We like to spend time with family and friends, and definitely value experiences over possessions, but obviously these are not mutually exclusive. We have lots of good friends from when we were younger (eg. when no one had money!), but I’m finding it harder to make new friends as a relatively new parent of a preschooler.

Is it just harder to make good friends at this stage? Can having a lot of “stuff” be an obstacle to new friendships? FWIW, we may not be super outgoing, but overall are pretty laid back and friendly.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing I can think of that I want for my kid and can’t provide. I may lack imagination (or familiarity with what rich people are doing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last time I checked, we were still in America. Money makes so many things easier.

But *too much* money makes so many things harder. You have to find the sweet spot.

+1

We've found that sweet spot. I SAH, my DH has a super flexible schedule, we have a nanny, my mom lives with us, our kids go to private school and our marriage is genuinely strong. We take 4-6 vacations a year, we donate time and money to charity, and our kids are happy/healthy. I'm terrified at how happy we are and am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But you cannot, with all that, acquire tact, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are the wealthy moms posting about their wealth in this thread? Money can buy a lot of things but apparently not class.

Yep.

Hi Luann

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last time I checked, we were still in America. Money makes so many things easier.

But *too much* money makes so many things harder. You have to find the sweet spot.

+1

We've found that sweet spot. I SAH, my DH has a super flexible schedule, we have a nanny, my mom lives with us, our kids go to private school and our marriage is genuinely strong. We take 4-6 vacations a year, we donate time and money to charity, and our kids are happy/healthy. I'm terrified at how happy we are and am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But you cannot, with all that, acquire tact, apparently.

Np- what about this post lacks tact?

[Anonymous]

I grew up rich. More money, more problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last time I checked, we were still in America. Money makes so many things easier.

But *too much* money makes so many things harder. You have to find the sweet spot.

+1

We've found that sweet spot. I SAH, my DH has a super flexible schedule, we have a nanny, my mom lives with us, our kids go to private school and our marriage is genuinely strong. We take 4-6 vacations a year, we donate time and money to charity, and our kids are happy/healthy. I'm terrified at how happy we are and am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But you cannot, with all that, acquire tact, apparently.

Np- what about this post lacks tact?

People are always looking to put other people down. Jealousy is a horrible way to live. Be happy for others. Choose kindness and spread joy. And if you don’t like something about your own life, do something to make it better instead of cutting down people who are happy.

[Anonymous]

"People are always looking to put other people down. Jealousy is a horrible way to live. Be happy for others. Choose kindness and spread joy. And if you don’t like something about your own life, do something to make it better instead of cutting down people who are happy. "

You are great! I wish DW understands this. She is jealous of how other people get all sorts of conveniences while she spends time on WhatsApp and internet. The issue I face is that she makes a list per person.

Friend 1 - Got tesla
Friend 2- Got to go for Vacay
Friend 3 - Got an iPhone
Friend 4 - Bought a new house
Friend 5 - Got a nanny

To her credit, after 10 years of marriage - she knows that I don't follow anybody! And, I will always buy depreciated cars. So, I set an unlimited basic necessity budget but avoid almost all other conveniences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess you could say we are in an enviable situation...I have a high earning husband which allows me to work PT at a meaningful job that pays relatively well. We have a FT nanny, and never max out her hours, but keep her FT for sick days, school vacations, etc since both of us have somewhat irregular work hours. My husband is a very hands on dad, and we are fortunate enough to send our kids to private and have vacation homes in desireable locations.

My question is—would you be less likely to befriend people with “more money?” We like to spend time with family and friends, and definitely value experiences over possessions, but obviously these are not mutually exclusive. We have lots of good friends from when we were younger (eg. when no one had money!), but I’m finding it harder to make new friends as a relatively new parent of a preschooler.

Is it just harder to make good friends at this stage? Can having a lot of “stuff” be an obstacle to new friendships? FWIW, we may not be super outgoing, but overall are pretty laid back and friendly.

We have more money than most of our friends. Our friends and kids’ friends occasionally comment that we live in a mansion or that we have a chef. We just live in a large house and have a lady come prep meals for us once a week. It is not the center of conversation, just occasionally get a comment.

Old and new friends seem to enjoy parties in our home. I think we are good hosts. Even when I lived with roommates during my single days, my friends often would hang out at my place. We just live in a 15,000 sf house now. I posted once about reciprocating play dates and got blasted for living in such a large home.

I haven’t found it difficult to make new friends. I have a 1yo and two kids in elementary. I have made mommy friends through various baby groups and activities. New friends don’t know we have a lot of money. We meet at kid places and I’m enjoying the company. It matters more on what stage of life you are in. I met a mom who is also relatively new to the area and she only has 2 elementary kids and no younger child. She also lives in a large house but doesn’t seem to have the same opportunity to make friends. There are so many moms groups and meetups these days but they are geared towards younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess you could say we are in an enviable situation...I have a high earning husband which allows me to work PT at a meaningful job that pays relatively well. We have a FT nanny, and never max out her hours, but keep her FT for sick days, school vacations, etc since both of us have somewhat irregular work hours. My husband is a very hands on dad, and we are fortunate enough to send our kids to private and have vacation homes in desireable locations.

My question is—would you be less likely to befriend people with “more money?” We like to spend time with family and friends, and definitely value experiences over possessions, but obviously these are not mutually exclusive. We have lots of good friends from when we were younger (eg. when no one had money!), but I’m finding it harder to make new friends as a relatively new parent of a preschooler.

Is it just harder to make good friends at this stage? Can having a lot of “stuff” be an obstacle to new friendships? FWIW, we may not be super outgoing, but overall are pretty laid back and friendly.

I thought preschool was the easiest time to make new friends. We met many of our closest friends then. Whole class parties where parents had to stay. Tons of kid outings you can invite others on and your kids beg for play dates.

It would probably be more difficult if your school is far from your home. Our kids attended preschool in our neighborhood. Everyone lived within a 3 mile radius..