Is my co-worker flirting with me?

[Anonymous]

It's on the edge but not definitive. Just keep your responses professional so you're not opening the door to a follow up.

[Anonymous]

Mentioning dinner, breakfast and "whatever else it is you want" is definitely flirting. Does he want to hook up? Uncertain. He could just be a flirty guy.

The second one is less obvious to me.

[Anonymous]

He wants to have sex with you. I don’t understand why you are even asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you both single?

People have to express interest in some way to feel out if the other person is interested. I don't think this crosses a line at all but it could be him putting out very light feelers to get a sense of your response. I would be sure to disconnect from any of that type of banter if you aren't interested. I wouldn't call it flirting, I would just call it testing the waters to see if flirting is an option.

Just remain professional. It sounds like he is being professional as well as nothing he has said is inappropriate in a professional relationship.

No, we're both married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want him to be flirty with you?

No, I don't. The more I think about it, I would actually be pretty disappointed in him. I have held him in high regards as a work colleague, always thinking of him as someone who is smart, reliable, an overall good person, highly ethical, and I have seen him as a devoted family man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you both single?

People have to express interest in some way to feel out if the other person is interested. I don't think this crosses a line at all but it could be him putting out very light feelers to get a sense of your response. I would be sure to disconnect from any of that type of banter if you aren't interested. I wouldn't call it flirting, I would just call it testing the waters to see if flirting is an option.

Just remain professional. It sounds like he is being professional as well as nothing he has said is inappropriate in a professional relationship.

No, we're both married.

Don’t let the details get in the way. He could be your soulmate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Does he act this way with everybody or just you? I had a boyfriend who basically flirted through men and women old and young. It was just his style.

I'd take it at face value and remain professional and not worry about it.

I'm not sure. He's definitely the type of person who walks the halls and makes sure to chat with everyone-- a networker/relationship builder. When many of us recently worked very hard on a project he partially spearheaded, he thanked each of us afterward with a piece of chocolate and a card.

He made it a little awkward when he gave me mine, as he barely came into my office, reached his arm across to my desk and said, "here this is for you" and then basically ran away immediately. He *always* stops to say hello, so I thought it was weird that he fled the scene like a shy teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Does he act this way with everybody or just you? I had a boyfriend who basically flirted through men and women old and young. It was just his style.

I'd take it at face value and remain professional and not worry about it.

I'm not sure. He's definitely the type of person who walks the halls and makes sure to chat with everyone-- a networker/relationship builder. When many of us recently worked very hard on a project he partially spearheaded, he thanked each of us afterward with a piece of chocolate and a card.

He made it a little awkward when he gave me mine, as he barely came into my office, reached his arm across to my desk and said, "here this is for you" and then basically ran away immediately. He *always* stops to say hello, so I thought it was weird that he fled the scene like a shy teenager.

Any other visual clues? Does he gaze at you? Smile while gazing? Hold conversations longer than needed, find excuses to talk to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Does he act this way with everybody or just you? I had a boyfriend who basically flirted through men and women old and young. It was just his style.

I'd take it at face value and remain professional and not worry about it.

I'm not sure. He's definitely the type of person who walks the halls and makes sure to chat with everyone-- a networker/relationship builder. When many of us recently worked very hard on a project he partially spearheaded, he thanked each of us afterward with a piece of chocolate and a card.

He made it a little awkward when he gave me mine, as he barely came into my office, reached his arm across to my desk and said, "here this is for you" and then basically ran away immediately. He *always* stops to say hello, so I thought it was weird that he fled the scene like a shy teenager.

Any other visual clues? Does he gaze at you? Smile while gazing? Hold conversations longer than needed, find excuses to talk to you?

Yes, he makes sustained eye contact, but I suspect he's like that with everyone. I dunno, it's hard to say. In my position, I provide critical support to his projects that can essentially make or break them, so I always just assumed he was ensuring a strong relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you both single?

People have to express interest in some way to feel out if the other person is interested. I don't think this crosses a line at all but it could be him putting out very light feelers to get a sense of your response. I would be sure to disconnect from any of that type of banter if you aren't interested. I wouldn't call it flirting, I would just call it testing the waters to see if flirting is an option.

Just remain professional. It sounds like he is being professional as well as nothing he has said is inappropriate in a professional relationship.

No, we're both married.

Don’t let the details get in the way. He could be your soulmate.

-OP

[Anonymous]

No. Unless he is giving you eyes while saying it. I have definitely said that I owe my team "lunch, dinner, and breakfast" and didn't mean I wanted to sleep with them. That is quite a leap. Especially given that we are an office that sometimes does breakfast! I also always announce to my team that is wonderful to see their shining faces, etc, when I come back from a long trip. He's not flirting. Yesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you both single?

People have to express interest in some way to feel out if the other person is interested. I don't think this crosses a line at all but it could be him putting out very light feelers to get a sense of your response. I would be sure to disconnect from any of that type of banter if you aren't interested. I wouldn't call it flirting, I would just call it testing the waters to see if flirting is an option.

Just remain professional. It sounds like he is being professional as well as nothing he has said is inappropriate in a professional relationship.

No, we're both married.

Don’t let the details get in the way. He could be your soulmate.

I’ve really come to rely on your posts, PP, and look forward to seeing you turn up.

Maybe we are soulmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want him to be flirty with you?

No, I don't. The more I think about it, I would actually be pretty disappointed in him. I have held him in high regards as a work colleague, always thinking of him as someone who is smart, reliable, an overall good person, highly ethical, and I have seen him as a devoted family man.

Then don't respond back with anything cutesy or too friendly. He may not be a devoted family man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say. But the bigger question: are you flirting back?

No, I'm not. He's very attractive, yet I'm not really attracted to him in a romantic or sexual way.

If you're not attracted to him, then it's sexual harassment.

That’s laughable. I’m not being sexually harassed.

-OP

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then what he's doing should be reported to HR.

I think you skipped a few steps in the process.

[Anonymous]

It’s low key flirting. It’s the baiting/grooming phase where he’s testing you to see how you will respond. If you respond in kind, he will go to the next level. Flirting 101

The responses out here are so weird. It’s almost like people want to deny that you are being flirted with, because no one is flirting with them...