Feeling like my parents don't care about my marriage

[Anonymous]

Why are you on a trip for your anniversary and texting your parents? Are you 12?

[Anonymous]

Are you a woman OP?

[Anonymous]

OP are you an only child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you an only child?

Please read OP’s second paragraph—first post on page 1 of his thread. Your question will be answered there.

[Anonymous]

Your mother could have acknowledged your home purchase. Yes, it would have been nice. I am sure your mother has had this personality trait for a long time. Don't let it get to you. You can play her game too. Don't give her details/ammunition of your private life (home price, annual salaries,etc). Honestly, I would "forget" to tell them my move in date.

Nobody remembers anniversaries. Let that go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is OP???

She's collecting data points for her psychology experiment. Thanks for playing, DCUM!

[Anonymous]

I think OP is a woman and is feeling sensitive about her parents’ feelings about her being gay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW and I have been married for a year, and together for five. My parents (more specifically, my mom) have always been a point of contention in our relationship. Part of the reason for this tension is that my mom is the kind of person who just says whatever is on her mind with no concern for how it is interpreted by anyone else, the other part is that my wife is very sensitive.

In the past few months, I've really felt that my parents don't care about my marriage as much as I would like them to. There have been alot of little things that occured that made me feel this way, mostly relating to my younger brothers wedding. The big event that really stuck out to me though, was when we bought a house. When we officially got word that our offer was accepted, I called my parents. My mom wasn't home, but my dad was, and we told him the good news, and he was happy for us. However, I never heard anything from my mom wishing us well us on getting the house. This really stuck out to me, so much so that I actually talked to my mom about it a few weeks after it happened. This talk with her went okay; it started out a bit rough with her saying that I'm being too sensitive about the situation, but ended with her saying that she'd put more effort into things. To that end, things improved a little bit; she started asking more questions about house stuff and our lives, and seemed to be taking an interest.

However, things took a turn for the worse recently. We were in Europe to celebrate our first anniversary, which my parents were well aware of, and had our itinerary for the trip. On the day of our anniversary, there was no acknowledgment from either of them about our anniversary. This upset me for a few reasons: 1) it seemed like a low hanging fruit for my parents to say something, given that I had voiced a few weeks earlier about me feeling like they didn't care about me or my marriage. 2) Birthdays, anniversaries, etc are a big deal in my family. my parents always at the least call us, and send a little gift for our birthdays, and in turn, we always do something for the anniversary, so for them to not return the favor for me really stung. 3) I had been texting with them throughout the time while we were in Europe, so they knew they could get in touch with us.

I didn't say anything to them the rest of the trip, mostly because I was enjoying being on vacation with my wife, and didn't want to focus on the negative. We returned home yesterday to find a gift from my parents. I thought "great, maybe this is their acknowledgement of our anniversary!" They wrote us a small card, and since it was our paper anniversary, they gave us ... a TIME magazine about the Science of Marriage. (By comparison, my IL's gave us a nice map of the world where we can color in the states and countries we have traveled to).

Anyways, I really don't know how to move forward from this. I'm at the point where I'm not even really mad at my parents, I'm more just sad and disappointed. Truthfully, I'm rooting for my parents to turn it around, and be the loving, caring parents I grew up with, but by pulling stuff like not acknowledging our anniversary, they make it harder for me to try to let them back in. Am I wrong in being hurt by this? What should I be doing next?

Dude, you need to get a freakin grip. It’s your marriage not theirs.

[Anonymous]

I never do this, but this is:

A) a troll
B) a gay woman and her parents have issues with it, or
C) a wife trying to suss out if her feelings about her DH's parents are legit.

[Anonymous]

Wow. All the problems you describe are problems of your own making. No one is at fault here but you.

You're insane.

[Anonymous]

If this post is a troll it is Fine Art Trollling.

[Anonymous]

Op your expectations are WAY out of line. No one needs to celebrate your anniversary other than dh and you. Why should your parents care? And you sound greedy wanting a gift! Do you give a gift to your parents every year for their anniversary? Most people only give gifts on major anniversaries.

You're making things up to be upset about.

[Anonymous]

Anniversaries are between spouses. Parents have nothing to do with that.

[Anonymous]

Ill dissent here to the point of saying the parents should have said happy anniversary on the day of the first anniversary. And the mom not wishing well when they bought a house is odd and cold. But OP, your parents are not going to become different just because they want to to. And if they’re not crazy about your spouse, they’re going to distance themselves from you and your marriage. Nothing you can do but give it time. You can’t force them.

[Anonymous]

This should maybe be posted in the lgbtq forum. I think the answes would be different. In the end, eceryone is an adult and adultd aren't required to acknowledge other adults milestones, anniversaries or birthdays. Ok, you need tomrrow up and get therapy. Your parents are treating you like an adult. I don't think my parents have ever acknowledged my wedding anniversary, they even have trouble remembering their own.