Do these Cranky Pants make me look fat?

[Anonymous]

my gripe:

co-workers, many of whom make boatloads more money than i do, never pulling their weight. i have to clean up the mess and they never seem to suffer any ill consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my gripe:

co-workers, many of whom make boatloads more money than i do, never pulling their weight. i have to clean up the mess and they never seem to suffer any ill consequences.

Pulling all that extra weight is making you stronger than an ox! (A very feminine, delicate, attractive ox. Oxette, if you prefer.)

(Here's hoping PP is female...an assumption I am making, perhaps incorrect, in which case I stand by my original "ox" and rescind any mention of "oxette.")

Your better compensated co-workers are allowing you the opportunity to hone your management skills as you balance not only your own work load but theirs as well. Little do your co-workers know it, but you are slowly positioning yourself to slide right into their higher paying jobs. You are the glue that holds your organization together. You are the sauce on the pizza - sure the cheese gets a lot of attention, but we all know that without a good sauce, that pizza would be NOTHING.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Time for me to take off my Cranky Pants and put on some Decidedly Less Cranky Pajamas. Thank you all for your contributions this evening!

As this is cheaper than therapy, I'll probably be back tomorrow. Wishing you all a lovely night.

[Anonymous]

This was great! I loved it all. Brought a smile to my face this morning (despite the sleep still in my eyes)

[Anonymous]

OP, what kind of pants are you wearing today?

[Anonymous]

OP--that was fabulous! I wonder if there is a job for you in this? This kind of talent should not go unused. The world needs you--or at least, my world needs you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--that was fabulous! I wonder if there is a job for you in this? This kind of talent should not go unused. The world needs you--or at least, my world needs you!

Maybe she can join these guys--http://www.brightsidetour.com/

[Anonymous]

Oops. Try this link http://www.brightsidetour.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what kind of pants are you wearing today?

Good morning! My Cranky Pants have been relegated to the laundry (I think they need a good acid wash). Unfortunately, it seems the only other wardrobe choice available to me this morning was my Snarky Skirt. I'm looking for a change - perhaps you could all help me with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--that was fabulous! I wonder if there is a job for you in this? This kind of talent should not go unused. The world needs you--or at least, my world needs you!

Thank you. Oh how I would love to do this all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two sick children. One wont let me put him down and the other wont let me touch him. I am also sick. DH has been playing an online pirate game all day. I may throw his laptop out the window. I want to go to sleep but since DH wouldn't agree to new windows my bedroom is freezing and no matter how many blankets I put on the bed I lay there with the chills. I can't stand clutter or dog hair which makes my family crazy, but the cluttler makes me crazy.

You have raised kind and considerate children who have coordinated to ensure that (1) they are alternating who plays the role of "hold me" versus "leave me alone" and (2) they are both sick at the same time, and have kindly shared germs with you, to ensure you get past this episode as quickly as possible.

You clearly have extraordinary management abilities as evidenced by your expert jugglling of tissue boxes, Tylenol, emesis basins and cherished stuffed animals! Your clingy child's clingliness is an outward demonstration of your child's belief that you can fix anything, no matter how bad you or your kid might feel. Your other child's don't-touch-me-ness demonstrates that your child is confident that not only can your fix anything, you can fix it from a distance!

You are a model of self restraint for not giving your husband an immersion lesson in pirate life by making him walk the plank into a deep sea, with his laptop chained around his ankle in sink-to-the-bottom cannonball fashion.

Fresh air through your old windows will enliven you and refresh you as you convalesce! Chills burn calories, so if you've been looking to shed that last couple of pounds, nature (and your disagreeable husband) have given you a helping hand! You are teaching your children kindness to animals, but drawing the line at kindness to dust bunnies, spider webs, amd the like - valuable lessons for youngsters to learn. You are a feverish organized efficient patient animal loving yet tidy woman - something we all aspire to be (except for that feverish part).

I love you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Time for me to take off my Cranky Pants and put on some Decidedly Less Cranky Pajamas. Thank you all for your contributions this evening!

As this is cheaper than therapy, I'll probably be back tomorrow. Wishing you all a lovely night.

OP, are you also DCUM psychic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Time for me to take off my Cranky Pants and put on some Decidedly Less Cranky Pajamas. Thank you all for your contributions this evening!

As this is cheaper than therapy, I'll probably be back tomorrow. Wishing you all a lovely night.

OP, are you also DCUM psychic?

Alas, I am not. My talents lie elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

We need more threads like this! OP is awesome!

[Anonymous]

Cheers to OP!