DW texting AP.

[Anonymous]

The thing is you don't have kids. There's really no reason for her to stay in the marriage.

She could easily divorce and find someone more trustworthy to have children with.

Is the AP married?

[Anonymous]

5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

[Anonymous]

The burner phone is genius- when my DH cheated, I was pretty sure that I wasn't getting the full skinny. Wish I had thought of a burner phone. My friend's DH cheated and she kept saying "oh it was an emotional affair." BS. She should have gotten a burner phone too.

In seriousness, OP, expect that you might be able to work things out enough to stay married. Expect that you will never be fully trusted again, and it *will* come up in arguments.

And every time you do something boneheaded and insensitive or you ignore you DW, she will be thinking "but he texted that bi&ch at 5AM in the morning, and in the restaurant on our "date night" and he can't even listen to me when I'm talking?

[Anonymous]

OP, just end it.

I am not saying this because you are a bad person, or she is. I don't really judge cheaters, there are two sides to every story. But why on earth are you fighting for this relationship?

Move on. Let her move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a short-term affair approximately 4 years ago. I never told my DW. She found out two months ago and has been distraught, resentful, and angry at me ever since. We’ve been in counselling and she is considering divorce.

DW is TEXTING my AP, she got a burner phone and pretended to be me, saying I got a “new number.” AP texted me, asking if I got a new number and I didn’t respond, because I don’t want to engage with her at all.

DW now has all sorts of details that I didn’t disclose to her: where it happened, where I took AP for dates, other information that was just been AP and I. DW’ is now livid and not speaking with me

I don’t know if our marriage can recover, I had sex once with AP but it carried on for a few months afterwards as more of an emotional affair. I buried it as a secret, thinking DW would never find out.

DW is just angry, all the time and is constantly lashing out at me. No kids but we had been trying to have a baby.

Trying for a baby is the LAST thing you and your wife should be thinking about right now. The trust level in this relationship has been completely obliterated. You two need to work out whether or not your relationship is salvageable and then proceed accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a short-term affair approximately 4 years ago. I never told my DW. She found out two months ago and has been distraught, resentful, and angry at me ever since. We’ve been in counselling and she is considering divorce.

DW is TEXTING my AP, she got a burner phone and pretended to be me, saying I got a “new number.” AP texted me, asking if I got a new number and I didn’t respond, because I don’t want to engage with her at all.

DW now has all sorts of details that I didn’t disclose to her: where it happened, where I took AP for dates, other information that was just been AP and I. DW’ is now livid and not speaking with me

I don’t know if our marriage can recover, I had sex once with AP but it carried on for a few months afterwards as more of an emotional affair. I buried it as a secret, thinking DW would never find out.

DW is just angry, all the time and is constantly lashing out at me. No kids but we had been trying to have a baby.

Forget about "trying to have a baby". Just get a divorce. Now. While you may have had an affair 4 yrs ago, to your wife it's like you had the affair recently. Were you married when you had the affair?

Get a divorce. You don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

DW is trying to arrange threesome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a short-term affair approximately 4 years ago. I never told my DW. She found out two months ago and has been distraught, resentful, and angry at me ever since. We’ve been in counselling and she is considering divorce.

DW is TEXTING my AP, she got a burner phone and pretended to be me, saying I got a “new number.” AP texted me, asking if I got a new number and I didn’t respond, because I don’t want to engage with her at all.

DW now has all sorts of details that I didn’t disclose to her: where it happened, where I took AP for dates, other information that was just been AP and I. DW’ is now livid and not speaking with me

I don’t know if our marriage can recover, I had sex once with AP but it carried on for a few months afterwards as more of an emotional affair. I buried it as a secret, thinking DW would never find out.

DW is just angry, all the time and is constantly lashing out at me. No kids but we had been trying to have a baby.

Forget about "trying to have a baby". Just get a divorce. Now. While you may have had an affair 4 yrs ago, to your wife it's like you had the affair recently. Were you married when you had the affair?

Get a divorce. You don't have kids.

+ a million. She will never trust you or look at you the same. EVER. Save yourself and her time and heartache.

[Anonymous]

Stop trying to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

So, why are you staying? The kids know that you are divorced emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.