My wife is obsessed with our toddler son

[Anonymous]

As opposed to giving you massages and making you best meals? And feeding him McDonalds? You sound like you see perversion in everything, typical uptight male, plus you sound weirdly jealous. Should she stay in the house and be miserable and bored until you come home to make her whole? What an absolutely weird post on your part.

[Anonymous]

BTW, rarely is toddler spoiled, it happens, but rarely. She is doing everything to give her son a nurturing was to form affections, which is how safe and secure adults are formed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

As a mom of grown kids, I think she is obsessed. Of course, we all want our kids to eat well but when I made smoothies for the kids, I also made them for myself and DH. I use to read to my children as it created a routine but my DH also read to them. I did the mommy & me stuff, one day a week and I planned family activities, that included DH. If you feel left out, and she continues obsessing over your son, you will find yourself looking elsewhere (either with another woman or a hobby or with your guy friends or your job). Your son will be the Momma's boy that woman won't want. You need to get more involved. Many marriages dissolve when the kids leave for college because there is no bond between spouses. Don't let your son get in-between your marriage. I think you need to have a talk with your wife, like, I want to take DS to class or spend Daddy & me time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

As a mom of grown kids, I think she is obsessed. Of course, we all want our kids to eat well but when I made smoothies for the kids, I also made them for myself and DH. I use to read to my children as it created a routine but my DH also read to them. I did the mommy & me stuff, one day a week and I planned family activities, that included DH. If you feel left out, and she continues obsessing over your son, you will find yourself looking elsewhere (either with another woman or a hobby or with your guy friends or your job). Your son will be the Momma's boy that woman won't want. You need to get more involved. Many marriages dissolve when the kids leave for college because there is no was bond between spouses. Don We lived 't let your son get in-between your marriage. I think you need to have a talk with your wife, like, I want to take DS to class or spend Daddy & me time.

What a load of.... My DS was a very, very active toddler. My options were to do something with him, or stay at home while he fussed and eventually screamed. So, we went to the pool, almost every single day. And all the other SAHM did it too! We lived in a tropical climate, so we would alternate, someday pool, someday the beach. And imagine, these toddlers played with each other too, not just with moms! And most of them are now in college, great students, and we are still happily married! She feeds her kid and takes him to activities and she is a SAHM who can do it, and clearly does it when DH is at work. There is just no pleasing DCUM harpies. And when did OP say he feels left out? So much projecting and predicting a future of a total stranger on DCUM. From all I got is that she has morning activities for her toddler, which also serve as socializing for her, that she cooks very well, and that most of these are done without any neglect of her poor, needy DH(according to you?!) Guess what, many working spouses do not want to go to playdates on the weekends. If anything, DH is worried that she isn't spoiling him, not the son. Spoiled at two? It is called loved and cared for.

[Anonymous]

I know sleep training is hella controversial on this board but I have a friend whose almost three year will absolutely not go to sleep unless he is rocked and patted so bear in mind it's some point you will need to train your kid to go to sleep without you

[Anonymous]

Your wife sounds like a wonderful mom. Your post is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

As a mom of grown kids, I think she is obsessed. Of course, we all want our kids to eat well but when I made smoothies for the kids, I also made them for myself and DH. I use to read to my children as it created a routine but my DH also read to them. I did the mommy & me stuff, one day a week and I planned family activities, that included DH. If you feel left out, and she continues obsessing over your son, you will find yourself looking elsewhere (either with another woman or a hobby or with your guy friends or your job). Your son will be the Momma's boy that woman won't want. You need to get more involved. Many marriages dissolve when the kids leave for college because there is no was bond between spouses. Don We lived 't let your son get in-between your marriage. I think you need to have a talk with your wife, like, I want to take DS to class or spend Daddy & me time.

What a load of.... My DS was a very, very active toddler. My options were to do something with him, or stay at home while he fussed and eventually screamed. So, we went to the pool, almost every single day. And all the other SAHM did it too! We lived in a tropical climate, so we would alternate, someday pool, someday the beach. And imagine, these toddlers played with each other too, not just with moms! And most of them are now in college, great students, and we are still happily married! She feeds her kid and takes him to activities and she is a SAHM who can do it, and clearly does it when DH is at work. There is just no pleasing DCUM harpies. And when did OP say he feels left out? So much projecting and predicting a future of a total stranger on DCUM. From all I got is that she has morning activities for her toddler, which also serve as socializing for her, that she cooks very well, and that most of these are done without any neglect of her poor, needy DH(according to you?!) Guess what, many working spouses do not want to go to playdates on the weekends. If anything, DH is worried that she isn't spoiling him, not the son. Spoiled at two? It is called loved and cared for.

+1M

I am so over people saying that you should parent your child but when one actually does - the term "helicopter" parent is thrown in. How is OPs wife being that? She's a SAH mom. What is she supposed to do? If OP came in saying she doesn't do shit and her kid eats cheetos all day then you'd all be saying what a horrible mom she is. She's being a helicopter parent to a 2 year old? You sound silly. It's not like she's hovering over and making love to a teenager. WTF.

Nothing that he's said seems weird. AT ALL. A lot of toddlers have sleeping routines with their parents that carried on from the infant/baby days. Is it sustainable? Who knows? But the toddler will grow out of naps - and ding - she's HOME to do it. She goes to morning activities with other parents and kids. When I was on maternity leave I couldn't bring myself to change my shirt on a daily basis. I applaud any woman who gives of herself so willingly and to her child full time. It's not easy - and OP's wife seems like not only is she doing it - but actually embracing it.

And why complain that your toddler is only getting healthy cooked meals and home made smoothies. Shit - can I marry your wife? Matter of fact, can you adopt me - I'd love someone who would love me every day like that.

Stop guilting parents for a style that works for them is not harming their child.

[Anonymous]

It's all normal. I work full time and always made my kids healthy (what you call fancy) foods. Every night after bath I gave baby massage. I sing to my kids. They each have their favorite songs.

[Anonymous]

Dude, you posted this in relationship forum, that should tell you what this is really about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

As a mom of grown kids, I think she is obsessed. Of course, we all want our kids to eat well but when I made smoothies for the kids, I also made them for myself and DH. I use to read to my children as it created a routine but my DH also read to them. I did the mommy & me stuff, one day a week and I planned family activities, that included DH. If you feel left out, and she continues obsessing over your son, you will find yourself looking elsewhere (either with another woman or a hobby or with your guy friends or your job). Your son will be the Momma's boy that woman won't want. You need to get more involved. Many marriages dissolve when the kids leave for college because there is no bond between spouses. Don't let your son get in-between your marriage. I think you need to have a talk with your wife, like, I want to take DS to class or spend Daddy & me time.

What?? So on a Tuesday morning, she can’t take him to playgroup unless DH can go too? Should she be bringing smoothies into her DH’s office for his lunch break? The OP is describing things his wife does when she is home all day with the toddler. The child has to eat, should she give him frozen chicken nuggets for every meal? And if she can’t take him to the mommy and me class, what else should she be doing with him? When I had just one child, we did fun stuff every day - music classes, story time at the library, a playground etc because the alternative was to sit in our apartment and play with the same toys over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, you posted this in relationship forum, that should tell you what this is really about.

Yup. If the sex life hadn't tanked, he wouldn't care how much time she was spending with the kid. But, what he needs to realize is that, if she wanted to have sex with him, she'd make time. She doesn't want to have sex with him, and even if she dialed down her childcare priorities, she still wouldn't spend that extra time having sex with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, you posted this in relationship forum, that should tell you what this is really about.

Yup. If the sex life hadn't tanked, he wouldn't care how much time she was spending with the kid. But, what he needs to realize is that, if she wanted to have sex with him, she'd make time. She doesn't want to have sex with him, and even if she dialed down her childcare priorities, she still wouldn't spend that extra time having sex with him.

Op here. The sex is great. No complaints here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, you posted this in relationship forum, that should tell you what this is really about.

Yup. If the sex life hadn't tanked, he wouldn't care how much time she was spending with the kid. But, what he needs to realize is that, if she wanted to have sex with him, she'd make time. She doesn't want to have sex with him, and even if she dialed down her childcare priorities, she still wouldn't spend that extra time having sex with him.

Op here. The sex is great. No complaints here.

Then, like...why does this bother you?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose mom was like this. She continued with massages and such through high school (and while I think it's weird, it wasn't creepy - she's just super affectionate in that way). I assumed it would make him impossible to date because who could ever measure up to his mom? But, while he was a bit slutty through college, he ultimately settled down with and is happily married to his college gf. And his family remains close and has a great, warm relationship with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody else assumed this was a troll?

You’re not alone.