My wife is obsessed with our toddler son

[Anonymous]

My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

[Anonymous]

The food thing is normal. The rest is weird.

[Anonymous]

Very normal. Help out, go with them. Massage her.

[Anonymous]

On the massage/song thing, that may have been a routine she got into when he was a baby because it helped him fall asleep more easily, and now either it's habit and she doesn't even think about it, or she's anxious about rocking the boat and messing up his sleep. As for the rest, why are you questioning that she's making an extra effort to feed your child really nutritionally sound meals? And what is wrong with her doing mommy and me classes to get out of the house and see other people every day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very normal. Help out, go with them. Massage her.

Ummm. No. Don’t be the weird family.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws come from a culture that does baby massages. I remember when I sent my toddler there for a day, she would back all oiled up (including her hair). They oil the baby and massage her in the sunlight. Apparently it's good for muscle tone and it helps them take naps.
She still gives my children (ages 3 and 5) oil massages every so often.
Is your wife from an Asian culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

Would you rather your child eat pizza and chicken nuggets like the other kids?

[Anonymous]

The massage stuff is strange and a little obsessive. She's trying to be the "best" mom but she needs to let the kid have a little space. If he's 2, he should be spending more time socializing with other 2s and 3s.

The nightly massages before bedtime (and naps) could lead to an issue/disorder down the road.

[Anonymous]

You're jealous.

And no, he is not getting spoiled. He is getting all the attention and stimulation a young child deserves. Your wife sounds like a wonderful mother.

If either of you rushed to fulfill his every demand, and he didn't grow up saying please and thank you, and expected to have the latest expensive gadgets and never lifted a finger in the house, THAT would be spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The massage stuff is strange and a little obsessive. She's trying to be the "best" mom but she needs to let the kid have a little space. If he's 2, he should be spending more time socializing with other 2s and 3s.

The nightly massages before bedtime (and naps) could lead to an issue/disorder down the road.

Goodness. A cold narrow-minded prude.

[Anonymous]

Singing songs and baby massage were part of my child's bedtime routine. I don't see anything unusual in what you're describing.

[Anonymous]

We all have things we just love doing with our toddlers. I'm surprised how much I love reading at night to my toddler. We spend 30-45 min every night reading.

I think most SAHMs do some sort of scheduled activity once per day. It helps give a structure to the day and keeps boredom at bay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The massage stuff is strange and a little obsessive. She's trying to be the "best" mom but she needs to let the kid have a little space. If he's 2, he should be spending more time socializing with other 2s and 3s.

The nightly massages before bedtime (and naps) could lead to an issue/disorder down the road.

He's going to a play group every single day. That's plenty of socialization for a 2 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a sahm. Everyday she will massage our toddler and sing songs for at least 30 minutes before naps and night sleep. She makes him fancy smoothies and lots of fish and vegetables dishes. They go to a parent child program everyday Monday- Friday in the morning for a few hours. She even takes him to baby yoga and they apparently do foot massages for the babies there. Is any of this normal? She seems very happy staying home with him but I am worried he's getting spoiled.

The question you should ask yourself is what do you do for your son? Would you rather she ignored him and threw potato chips on the floor? Your wife sounds like a wonderful mom and your son is lucky to have a good mom. Not so sure about you though!

[Anonymous]

Did you encourage her to quit before the baby was born?

Where did you think her time, energy and focus were going to go?

Is she neglecting the responsibilities that you two agreed she would take on when you sat down and mapped out what this would look like? If not, then this is just her thing, and leave it alone.