So what do women think of men in sexless marriages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many men who have active sex lives with their spouses do cheat and it is highly unlikely they would tell another woman how active they are. Using having a sexless marriage as an excuse to cheat is a proven winner to get some sympathy. Saying you have sex three times a week isn't going to elicit a lot of sympathy.

I hear this "argument" a lot, for example this author was roundly criticized because surely her partners must be lying about their sexless marriages... just to get into her pants.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html

The whole premise behind this "argument" is that women offer sex out of sympathy to a man who is not getting any. Really? Does anybody believe that nonsese? Imagine if this were true.... wait until the RedPill brigade finds out! You can score just by not scoring!

I don't think that it's out of sympathy but it lets them rationalize something that they're inclined to do. We see this all the time in APs or other women talking about how their married partner is just staying together for the kids or the marriage is over, etc. So if they want to have an affair with a particular married guy they believe his crap about how his wife is terrible or they don't have sex, etc.

But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.

Exactly, i instantly think that he has no balls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many men who have active sex lives with their spouses do cheat and it is highly unlikely they would tell another woman how active they are. Using having a sexless marriage as an excuse to cheat is a proven winner to get some sympathy. Saying you have sex three times a week isn't going to elicit a lot of sympathy.

I hear this "argument" a lot, for example this author was roundly criticized because surely her partners must be lying about their sexless marriages... just to get into her pants.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html

The whole premise behind this "argument" is that women offer sex out of sympathy to a man who is not getting any. Really? Does anybody believe that nonsese? Imagine if this were true.... wait until the RedPill brigade finds out! You can score just by not scoring!

I don't think that it's out of sympathy but it lets them rationalize something that they're inclined to do. We see this all the time in APs or other women talking about how their married partner is just staying together for the kids or the marriage is over, etc. So if they want to have an affair with a particular married guy they believe his crap about how his wife is terrible or they don't have sex, etc.

+1

Nailed it. APs are gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.

Because a woman's objection to having an extramarital affair much more likely to be some moral anxiety or just not wanting to have sex with someone who is currently having sex with someone else - rather than something you read off a sexual market value calculation chart on a PUA board. Men tell this to potential APs so they'll rationalize that the affair isn't *really* cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1

Nailed it. APs are gullible.

Gullible or they're just buying into the rationale so they don't feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Why is this thread turning out to be an attack on AP? The question was about men.

[Anonymous]

I think they are liars.

[Anonymous]

The question was what women think of those men.

[Anonymous]

Also, offered in the context of a man trying to cultivate an extramarital affair and offering this information in furtherance of that affair.

[Anonymous]

I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.

Because a woman's objection to having an extramarital affair much more likely to be some moral anxiety or just not wanting to have sex with someone who is currently having sex with someone else - rather than something you read off a sexual market value calculation chart on a PUA board. Men tell this to potential APs so they'll rationalize that the affair isn't *really* cheating.

So you believe some women actually DO offer pity sex to men (lying or not) who claim to not get any? Otherwise I fail to see why you would perpetuate this nonsensical “argument“ as you just did. O

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men who are in sexless marriages, that occur outside of having a menopausal wife, are too afraid to divorce their spouses. They are afraid of the stigma associated with being divorced, have self-esteem issues when it comes to dating, and the financial consequences of divorce. People are content with misery.

As far as the financial consequences are concerned, there are so many successful single women in DC, that it would be easy to pair with someone making just as much or more than you were in the marriage.
As my mom says, there are many marriages that would not survive without the help of a mistress.

That was me. We eventually did divorce and it has been a painful hit financially. Everything else has gone so much better than I expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Is it proven that he has low T or is that just what he says. They are solutions to low T but there aren't many solutions to non interest.

[Anonymous]

Men who claim to be in sexless marriages are just losers in general.

If they were good earners, were well endowed, knew how to please their wives and weren't insisting she look like a Barbie doll instead of an actual woman, they wouldn't be in sexless marriages.

A sexless marriage is 100% the husbands fault. Period. End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Your husband is a loser.