28 and Never Had A Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have my first BF until 30. I married him. I was also really insecure about my body. Face is fairly attractive. Oh, and I was a virgin, and never even really kissed before. Happily married now 17 years. Change came when I loosened up and started to just enjoy my life.

My first kiss was at 27. Met my now DH at 28. 13 years later, still happy with him (most of the time - ha!) and with our 5 yo DS. I was also a virgin.

Get out there! Don't be worried about your past!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have my first BF until 30. I married him. I was also really insecure about my body. Face is fairly attractive. Oh, and I was a virgin, and never even really kissed before. Happily married now 17 years. Change came when I loosened up and started to just enjoy my life.

So how did you get over your insecurity enough to loosen up?

PP Here.. I think it was just a combination of stuff, but basically, I just started to try to enjoy my life rather than worry about stuff I couldn't control (which I do a lot of). I made a friend who was also single and was new to the area, and we started to do stuff, enjoy life. I was doing better financially, so I could really travel and buy nice clothes. I just generally started to enjoy my life, and be comfortable with myself. I knew my DH a few years before we started dating, but not very well, sort of an acquaintance more than friends. One day we met up and hit it off. Rest is history.

You know, it's funny, now that I look back at pictures of myself (in a bathing suit no less), I realize I actually had quite a nice figure, though I have really small boobs. I would love to have that figure back.

Don't waste your life. I regret all the time I spent with such low self esteems. I'm not saying I don't have any issues now. I still do, but I try not to let it run my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

That’s funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

That’s funny.

OP lacks sex skills - I don’t see her being a great find. Wouldn’t a man man a woman who knows how to satisfy him well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

That’s funny.

OP lacks sex skills - I don’t see her being a great find. Wouldn’t a man man a woman who knows how to satisfy him well?

Are you a man?

[Anonymous]

OP, I am another woman with stretch marks and average looks who married my first serious boyfriend and first person I had sex with.

Like a PP said, I felt like such a late bloomer when it came to dating, but in my mid 30s with a kid I'm basically at the same stage as my friends (cant afford property in DC but my career choices are a different issue). Like another PP said, I look back at pictures of myself back then and think I was actually better looking than I gavr myself credit for. You've got time and you're not as weird or unattractive as you think you are. A guy who likes you for you is not going to be put off by numbers or strerch marks.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that your are more desirable than you realize. There is someone out there who would cherish you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

That’s funny.

OP lacks sex skills - I don’t see her being a great find. Wouldn’t a man man a woman who knows how to satisfy him well?

Oh sweetie. You're thinking of a prostitute. What OP is talking about is having a relationship. It's something grown ups do.

Run along now! We're talking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent.

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine. Wow!

That’s funny.

OP lacks sex skills - I don’t see her being a great find. Wouldn’t a man man a woman who knows how to satisfy him well?

Oh sweetie. You're thinking of a prostitute. What OP is talking about is having a relationship. It's something grown ups do.

Run along now! We're talking!

PP was rather crude and blunt, but there are potential relationship issues. Not having had a boyfriend or being a virgin aren't themselves impediments to a wonderful relationship. Sure, some guys will prefer an experienced woman, and some will prefer someone without experience. No one -- and I mean no-one -- is perfect for everyone.

The relationship issues aren't the abuse history, either. It's who you are now -- how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others, and what you are willing and able to both give and receive. You can bring those rough spots with you into a new relationship regardless of your past, but if they are there, then they have to be dealt with.

I'm glad OP is in therapy. She went through a lot. She deserves to be seen as more than a vintage, undriven car, and she needs that to be understood by anyone who loves her, including herself.

[Anonymous]

Have any late bloomer women had someone (coworker or relative) introduce a guy to them? No one i worked with or any relative ever tried to hook me up with someone throughout my 20s even though i was pretty attractive.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally get your concerns. I was even older than you before I had my first boyfriend. I did not have sex until I met him. I never said boo to him. I faked it and he never knew how inexperienced I was and I quickly caught up.

[Anonymous]

36 year old here. Never had a boyfriend. Had a few hook-ups. I'm just not really that interested in dating or sex (or even kissing lol). For me, it's probably 15% insecurity and 85% I just don't have time because I'm completely overwhelmed\consumed\obsessed with doing the million and one things I'm doing right now. Plus I kind of like being selfish (only having to think of myself) and spending time on my own (I love writing or wasting time in my quiet house). And no history of abuse.

Every once and awhile I get lonely and try dating again, but then I get bored and find other things to occupy myself with. I'm sure I'll regret it when I'm older but for now I'm pretty happy.

[Anonymous]

Op I don't think you are in bad shape at all. You aren't a virgin and you love sex, so there is no element there for men to be concerned about (will she be too clingy? Does she even like sex? Etc). The rest of it is not that big a deal, most men won't be worried about your lack of a social life in the past, they'll be focused on how you test them in the here and now.

[Anonymous]

I think You will be fine and you sound really nice. Do take care of yourself with exercise and eating healthy. Get a nice haircut you can maintain and wear flattering clothes in whatever your style. Then, concentrate on what you enjoy and surround yourself with people who are similar. You may have to push a bit out of your comfort zone but it will be worth it!

I did date quite a bit and had 2 serious relationships but did not meet my now dh until 31 and married at 32. If it is what you want, I am hopeful for you. Hugs.