Reply to 28 and Never Had A Boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am 28, almost 29 at the end of May and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m naturally a shy introvert, and do not have much of a social life. I dated a little in my high school years and early 20’s, but I’ve only had sex with one guy. I think a lot of my shyness comes from body issues ( stretchmarks during puberty and average looks). I look and sound young which I know is not always ideal. I had a terrible childhood and was sexually abused by a neighbor and my brother. I’ve defintely grew up with a sense of inferiority and general hate for myself. I’m tired of being alone, but really worry most men will think I’m a freak when they find out I’m sexually inexperienced and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m destined to be alone, and part of me is just so used to being alone. I think the upside is that I’m not clingy like most people. I want marriage and a family someday, but I feel my chances of having that are 0, because I won’t ever find a guy okay with my past to date me. This isn’t a question, but more of a vent. [/quote]

To a lot of guys you'd be like finding a 66 Mustang convertible with only 5,000 original miles on the original 289cc engine.  Wow!   [/quote]

That’s funny.[/quote]

OP lacks sex skills - I don’t see her being a great find. Wouldn’t a man man a woman who knows how to satisfy him well?[/quote]

Oh sweetie. You're thinking of a prostitute. What OP is talking about is having a relationship. It's something grown ups do.

Run along now! We're talking![/quote]

PP was rather crude and blunt, but there are potential relationship issues. Not having had a boyfriend or being a virgin aren't themselves impediments to a wonderful relationship. Sure, some guys will prefer an experienced woman, and some will prefer someone without experience. No one -- and I mean no-one -- is perfect for everyone.

The relationship issues aren't the abuse history, either. It's who you are now -- how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others, and what you are willing and able to both give and receive. You can bring those rough spots with you into a new relationship regardless of your past, but if they are there, then they have to be dealt with.

I'm glad OP is in therapy. She went through a lot. She deserves to be seen as more than a vintage, undriven car, and she needs that to be understood by anyone who loves her, including herself.[/quote]

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