S/O Resentment by Men of Easier Access to Sex by Women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a recent post I'm thinking of, but this is a recurring theme -- it seems a lot of misogyny flows from male resentment of easier access to sex by women. Men have a strong desire for sex and often feel like they have to move heaven and earth to have sex with a woman. Meanwhile, from their perspective, women have to do much less work to get a man to have sex with them and seem to take that advantage for granted.

I wonder how women perceive that issue:

1) The disparity doesn't exist.
2) The disparity does exist, but the benefit is trivial. Sex isn't that important.
3) It's a nice advantage, but it doesn't come anywhere close to offsetting all of the other disadvantages women have.
4) Something else.

Just from some of the discussions I see around here, the injustice of it all is obviously a source of emotional turbulence to some men while women often shrug it off as unimportant.

It is a recurrent theme in that males who are bitter about being rejected bring up often that women can have sex whenever they want. It is a completely hollow argument, though, because the reality is that not every woman can have sex with exactly the man that she wants to have sex with. The rejections in question are almost always related to a very attractive woman not being interested in the bitter man. I'm not one to suggest that there needs to be parity in level of attractiveness between partners, but one common theme I see in these complaints that women can get whatever sex they want is that the bitter male in question almost always discounts the reality that he's not seeking ALL female companionship, just super-attractive female companionship.

[Anonymous]

Someone on this board recently posted, "women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of marriage". Seems kinda true and sure, I think it leads to resentment on both sides.

Women are also the gatekeepers of child birth, which I think also leads to resentment and the urge to control women's reproduction. Topic for another thread I know....

But yes, I think when one gender is perceived as having all the power in a particular, important area, it causes resentment.

[Anonymous]

Women aren’t exempt from the 80:20 rule.

80% of men are after the 20% of women who are most attractive for whatever reason (hot, fun, etc)

80% of women are after the 20% of men who are most attractive for various reasons (hot, high earning, fun, etc).

This creates frustration on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Women bleed every month from menstrual periods. Is that fair? It takes a bit more for a woman to be sexually aroused and orgasm than a ma. Is that fair? Women carry and give birth to children. Is that far? Women spend more time and money on make up, clothes, hair, and nails. Is that fair?

Whining wimpy men need to get a life and stop being resentful of women. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a recent post I'm thinking of, but this is a recurring theme -- it seems a lot of misogyny flows from male resentment of easier access to sex by women. Men have a strong desire for sex and often feel like they have to move heaven and earth to have sex with a woman. Meanwhile, from their perspective, women have to do much less work to get a man to have sex with them and seem to take that advantage for granted.

I wonder how women perceive that issue:

1) The disparity doesn't exist.
2) The disparity does exist, but the benefit is trivial. Sex isn't that important.
3) It's a nice advantage, but it doesn't come anywhere close to offsetting all of the other disadvantages women have.
4) Something else.

Just from some of the discussions I see around here, the injustice of it all is obviously a source of emotional turbulence to some men while women often shrug it off as unimportant.

It is a recurrent theme in that males who are bitter about being rejected bring up often that women can have sex whenever they want. It is a completely hollow argument, though, because the reality is that not every woman can have sex with exactly the man that she wants to have sex with. The rejections in question are almost always related to a very attractive woman not being interested in the bitter man. I'm not one to suggest that there needs to be parity in level of attractiveness between partners, but one common theme I see in these complaints that women can get whatever sex they want is that the bitter male in question almost always discounts the reality that he's not seeking ALL female companionship, just super-attractive female companionship.

True. 47 year old self is averagely attractive, and the hot men that I lust after are married or not interested. I would never have imagined that I had "unlimited access" to sex at any time in my life. That is such a weird concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is an idiot. Men like women who are up for sex as quickly as possible. OP's post is the umpteenth example on this site of women writing that through some convoluted logic, men must want ... , rather than facing the obvious.

OP can be whatever, but what are you trying to say many drinks in?

I’m saying occasionally women on DCUM write that men really want this or men really do that. Guys will reply no, we don’t. For instance, no we don’t care that you went to Harvard. We’re not looking for that , we’re looking for a girlfriend who enjoys sex. “No, you’re wrong.” “Hon, I’m a guy who hangs around the campsite with other guys. We don’t think the way you say we do.” Then usually the woman’s final bit of circular reasoning is “the men who meet my standards think the way I want them to”. Which is pretty useless to the discussion.
A couple weeks ago, the woman conceded that she was extrapolating from what she learned about men on her path from boarding school to law school. So she had nothing really to say about men who don’t actually sail with the Kennedys at Martha’s Vinyard, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

If you live in a high cost of living city like D.C., you are competing with your resources for the attention of women who are spending a lot of time, energy, and money on themselves to make themselves more marketable for jobs and for men. Step up your game and make and spend more money for those women. Or move to a lower cost of living area where women are not as interested in money or status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is an idiot. Men like women who are up for sex as quickly as possible. OP's post is the umpteenth example on this site of women writing that through some convoluted logic, men must want ... , rather than facing the obvious.

OP can be whatever, but what are you trying to say many drinks in?

I’m saying occasionally women on DCUM write that men really want this or men really do that. Guys will reply no, we don’t. For instance, no we don’t care that you went to Harvard. We’re not looking for that , we’re looking for a girlfriend who enjoys sex. “No, you’re wrong.” “Hon, I’m a guy who hangs around the campsite with other guys. We don’t think the way you say we do.” Then usually the woman’s final bit of circular reasoning is “the men who meet my standards think the way I want them to”. Which is pretty useless to the discussion.
A couple weeks ago, the woman conceded that she was extrapolating from what she learned about men on her path from boarding school to law school. So she had nothing really to say about men who don’t actually sail with the Kennedys at Martha’s Vinyard, I suppose.

Say wha?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live in a high cost of living city like D.C., you are competing with your resources for the attention of women who are spending a lot of time, energy, and money on themselves to make themselves more marketable for jobs and for men. Step up your game and make and spend more money for those women. Or move to a lower cost of living area where women are not as interested in money or status.

Ah, be rich, be a prince.

[Anonymous]

Women want love and men want respect .


Neither give it . The end.

[Anonymous]

This subject has been beaten to death but here it goes:

- men suffer from quantity, women from quality. Any woman could walk into a bar and leave with someone as long as she doesn't weigh 300 lbs. But what kind of man? Women in general are much more complicated than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone on this board recently posted, "women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of marriage". Seems kinda true and sure, I think it leads to resentment on both sides.

Women are also the gatekeepers of child birth, which I think also leads to resentment and the urge to control women's reproduction. Topic for another thread I know....

But yes, I think when one gender is perceived as having all the power in a particular, important area, it causes resentment.

I think this is interesting and I agree about marriage and childbirth but sex is interesting. Women are the gatekeepers of consent but we go through our whole lives knowing that that is power only when everyone agrees on it.

I do not think men realize the underlying...fear seems like too strong of a word, but underlying vigilance that women go through life with in the context of sex. Everyone says we can say yes or no, but there is always a danger that the guy we're with won't care and will take sex regardless. So a cautious somewhat powerless gatekeeper. And that breeds a different kind of mutual resentment because good guys pay the price for the bad guys in our hesitation and caution. But good guys also recognize this dynamic and treat us with respect so we aren't afraid of them.

I think the thing that is so baffling about OP's question is that it is so completely dismissive of this reality. Women have an easier time picking up a schlub from a bar who is willing to have sex with them. They are also basically always at risk at that bar for some other darker schlub deciding that he doesn't care whether or not she wants it. So in exchange for this 'advantage' we are perpetually at risk. Not worth it IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a recent post I'm thinking of, but this is a recurring theme -- it seems a lot of misogyny flows from male resentment of easier access to sex by women. Men have a strong desire for sex and often feel like they have to move heaven and earth to have sex with a woman. Meanwhile, from their perspective, women have to do much less work to get a man to have sex with them and seem to take that advantage for granted.

I wonder how women perceive that issue:

1) The disparity doesn't exist.
2) The disparity does exist, but the benefit is trivial. Sex isn't that important.
3) It's a nice advantage, but it doesn't come anywhere close to offsetting all of the other disadvantages women have.
4) Something else.

Just from some of the discussions I see around here, the injustice of it all is obviously a source of emotional turbulence to some men while women often shrug it off as unimportant.

It is a recurrent theme in that males who are bitter about being rejected bring up often that women can have sex whenever they want. It is a completely hollow argument, though, because the reality is that not every woman can have sex with exactly the man that she wants to have sex with. The rejections in question are almost always related to a very attractive woman not being interested in the bitter man. I'm not one to suggest that there needs to be parity in level of attractiveness between partners, but one common theme I see in these complaints that women can get whatever sex they want is that the bitter male in question almost always discounts the reality that he's not seeking ALL female companionship, just super-attractive female companionship.

This. The men I know who complain they can't get laid or find a girlfriend actually CAN, it's just that their standards are too high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Also, my own DH would find it strange that men have to move heaven and earth to get laid. He never had any trouble with it. I think partially because he didn't actively pursue it, and partially because he works out a lot.

Your DH sounds low T, low energy

No, her husband sounds attractive, that's why he didn't have to campaign hard to get women into bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a recent post I'm thinking of, but this is a recurring theme -- it seems a lot of misogyny flows from male resentment of easier access to sex by women. Men have a strong desire for sex and often feel like they have to move heaven and earth to have sex with a woman. Meanwhile, from their perspective, women have to do much less work to get a man to have sex with them and seem to take that advantage for granted.

I wonder how women perceive that issue:

1) The disparity doesn't exist.
2) The disparity does exist, but the benefit is trivial. Sex isn't that important.
3) It's a nice advantage, but it doesn't come anywhere close to offsetting all of the other disadvantages women have.
4) Something else.

Just from some of the discussions I see around here, the injustice of it all is obviously a source of emotional turbulence to some men while women often shrug it off as unimportant.

It is a recurrent theme in that males who are bitter about being rejected bring up often that women can have sex whenever they want. It is a completely hollow argument, though, because the reality is that not every woman can have sex with exactly the man that she wants to have sex with. The rejections in question are almost always related to a very attractive woman not being interested in the bitter man. I'm not one to suggest that there needs to be parity in level of attractiveness between partners, but one common theme I see in these complaints that women can get whatever sex they want is that the bitter male in question almost always discounts the reality that he's not seeking ALL female companionship, just super-attractive female companionship.

Very insightful.