husband meeting up with female trainer and friends tonight out of town

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say: I do not feel comfortable with this. I ask you not to go out of respect for me.

If he goes- I'd be done. Sorry OP.

I guess I did the first part and not the second. He’s out now and said again that I’m being ridiculous and will grab dinner and call me when he’s back to his room. I’m in no mood to talk and am going to try to get to sleep. It’s late here.

New poster.

The fact he's saying you're "being ridiculous" is belittling you and your legit concerns that are rooted in HIS past behaviors. "You're being ridiculous," if those are his words, is a total dismissal of you as a thinking adult with a functioning memory and an actual concern for your marriage and children.

I would get someone to watch the kids, meet him at the airport and greet him with the announcement that you both will start couples therapy the next day (or ASAP). If he balks, tell him that if he wants to stay married he needs to commit to therapy. If he still balks or says therapy is a waste of money or is "ridiculous," tell him the number next to the therapist's on your phone is a number for a lawyer.

He may give you a long account of how he spent each minute. And hey, he may actually only have had a meal. But even if he were innocent of anything more, the fact that he cannot see how he needs to avoid even the appearance of impropriety is a serious issue.

I hate to add this, but: OP, in your situation, I would be very concerned about STDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll.. Very few guys would even have a female trainer unless its J Micahels

Not true. I'm a trainer and always have several male clients. When I was involved with MMA, most of my clients were male. That said, I would never meet a male client for dinner. Unless my husband was with me, of course. Ethical, professional trainers don't put themselves in that situation.

Op here. That makes sense to me. It seems like in a business that’s physical it’s even more important to keep the boundaries clear. I worked really hard in my twenties and Early thirties when I was building my career to never get anywhere close to giving off the wrong signals. I had plenty of married men hit on me , colleagues and otherwise, and I hated it.

I’m so sad right now. Thought we were in a pretty good place. Kids are gone in a few years and we just bought a beach house, which seemed like a great sign of our intent to stay together.

[Anonymous]

Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

Yeah I know pretty unbelievable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

Yeah I know pretty unbelievable

I'm all the more amazed that your husband would even share all this info with you? Kinda crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

Yeah I know pretty unbelievable

I'm all the more amazed that your husband would even share all this info with you? Kinda crazy!

Why do you think he did?

[Anonymous]

This may be entering “cray cray” territory, but if you get the trainer’s name, I’d complain to the gym. If she’s meeting up with clients off-hours in Vegas, that’s just unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

Yeah I know pretty unbelievable

I'm all the more amazed that your husband would even share all this info with you? Kinda crazy!

Why do you think he did?

Are you asking me or OP? I get the impression (if this isn't a troll thread) that the husband assumes that his wife will put up with his crap and so he has no qualms about sharing such incriminating news. Next thing he'll be telling her, "Damn, we got drunk and actually slept together. But it's ok because it was a one-night stand".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

Yeah I know pretty unbelievable

I'm all the more amazed that your husband would even share all this info with you? Kinda crazy!

Why do you think he did?

Are you asking me or OP? I get the impression (if this isn't a troll thread) that the husband assumes that his wife will put up with his crap and so he has no qualms about sharing such incriminating news. Next thing he'll be telling her, "Damn, we got drunk and actually slept together. But it's ok because it was a one-night stand".

Op here. I can assure you none of this is flying with me and the latter would mean his mom comes out ASAP to stay with the kids and I would move out and contact a divorce lawyer Monday am. I’m really not a pushbover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be entering “cray cray” territory, but if you get the trainer’s name, I’d complain to the gym. If she’s meeting up with clients off-hours in Vegas, that’s just unprofessional.

Especially married ones!

[Anonymous]

Any updates, OP?

[Anonymous]

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Other than an STD and a crotch full of crabs. That, my dear, comes home.

[Anonymous]

He called in cab on way home started in on the you’re being ridiculous and I hit the roof then he hung up and won’t return my calls. Pretty sure no sleep tonight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait the personal trainer just happens to be in vegas the exact same time as your DH's business trip?
Um..ok. that's one h ec of a coincidence.

And your dh showed interest in meeting up with her and her friends while there?
Why? Do they have a lot in common? It's not really something that crosses my mind to meet with my trainer during my limited down time on a business trip

A personal trainer who went with him and is sleeping in his bed. This is all so obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He called in cab on way home started in on the you’re being ridiculous and I hit the roof then he hung up and won’t return my calls. Pretty sure no sleep tonight

I'd tell him not to bother to come home. What a shit bag.