New boss uses the word retarded. Still. In 2018. At work!

[Anonymous]

My niece has Down's Syndrome so I do have to remember not to use that word. OP get a life. I don't think it's the word she used that offended you. I think you are offended by her. She made a mistake...move on. Don't be a big tattle tale. No one will like or trust you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the context of the use? The word "retarded" in and of itself is fine to use.

Example:

The blockage in the pipe will retard the flow of water. Or The blockage in the pipe retarded the low of water.

The def is: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment, in addition to the disparaging one we all object to.


What you can't say is something like "that's just a retarded thing to do".

oh wow, PP. thanks for telling us that there's a non-offensive way to use the word! all of us are just way too stupid to know that.

thank GOD you're here.

Plenty of people get cranked up over stupid things on DCUM--OP didn't provide any context, everyone jumped to a conclusion, includiing you, retarded bitch.

Wow, you're right, it isn't nice.

[Anonymous]

I was reading this thread this morning and this afternoon, someone in my office used the word. It was bizarre as it's not something that I remember her saying before. When she said it, another co-worker (her direct report actually) turned around and cringed and said "ugh, I hate when people use that word". It's an offensive word and whether or not you are personally offended, others (like your client) may be. I would talk to HR. Someone who is brand new to the company in a leadership position should not be using that word, twice, on a client call.

[Anonymous]

Who cares.

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker who uses this word and it drives me crazy. But she is so defensive and prickly that it would tank our working relationship to mention it. It’s an age thing-she’s late 40s (I’m early 40s) and it was just a normal word to use when we were young. Unfortunately she’s never picked up on the fact that it is no longer acceptable. At least she doesn’t still say things are gay. She seems to have missed a lot of things that I think are standard knowledge. She’s also acted like I’m crazy when I said something about cold fusion and zeitgeist (separate conversations) and is totally unaware of all pop culture. I think she lives under a rock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell har that it made you uncomfortable. My CFO assigned us “spirit animals” and had a Redskins mug and Lanyard. She is not Native American. I sent a note to HR and preato the mug and lanyard were gone and now we have “mascots”

You went to HR for this?? You are ridiculous! I am no Trump-ie, but you really are an example of what is wrong with this country nowadays. What a sensitive snowflake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just used it with a completely new group of people. "Apologized" for saying it and it was met with "it's okay, it describes it perfectly, but nobody knows what word to use instead now". I can work with this group of people, such a relief, no need for the fake filtering.

I still use the word too. I wouldn't use it in a formal setting in front of a client or my boss but my co-workers and I both use the word.

[Anonymous]

This thread is ree-ree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the context of the use? The word "retarded" in and of itself is fine to use.

Example:

The blockage in the pipe will retard the flow of water. Or The blockage in the pipe retarded the low of water.

The def is: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment, in addition to the disparaging one we all object to.


What you can't say is something like "that's just a retarded thing to do".

oh wow, PP. thanks for telling us that there's a non-offensive way to use the word! all of us are just way too stupid to know that.

thank GOD you're here.

Plenty of people get cranked up over stupid things on DCUM--OP didn't provide any context, everyone jumped to a conclusion, includiing you, retarded bitch.

Wow, you're right, it isn't nice.

well that escalated... quickly...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is blowing my mind.

She's only been on the job for 2 weeks; this is her first week solo without shadowing the person she replaced. She ran her first meeting this morning, which included one of our longtime clients, but seniority wise in the company, she was the highest person on the call. It wasn't just said once, either. The first time she said it, everyone around the table kind of gave each other side looks, like, 'did that really just happen?' She then said it again a bit later and someone on the conference call did the awkward throat clearing and moved the conversation forward.

I grew up in a family with a SN relative, so the r-word is not in our vocabulary at all and it's always striking to hear someone say it. Usually it's teens, but to hear an adult say it in a professional setting is just... wow.

Do I email our client and apologize? Do I let someone higher than this person know? Do I speak with her first privately? Is this just something you tell HR about and let them deal with? Position wise, she's the new Controller and the meeting was made up of the senior members of our finance team as well as this longtime client. I just feel embarrassed she was the main representative from our company on this call and was so unprofessional.

"She"? Are you assuming the person's gender? By 2028 they'll be reporting you.

[Anonymous]

So what.

[Anonymous]

It's always risky "reporting" people. You never know what crazy people may do to get you back.

[Anonymous]

Jesus tap dancing Christ y’all are a bunch of pussies. Who gives a flying fck if someone says the word retarded? It’s not like they called you retarded in an evaluation. How do you make it through your day?

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is a depressing thread. This is really not debatable at this point—it’s not an acceptable term to use.
The people that are being defensives about it need to learn to adjust. My grandmother had to adjust from calling people “colored” to referring to someone as “black”. Guess what? She somehow managed to do this.
I can accept that someone may not have evil intent in their heart when they used this term, and can accept that some people have been living under a rock and somehow missed the news that for many years now, it’s been recognized this is not appropriate.
HR does need to be informed. They can speak with this person. Since multiple people were at the meeting, anyone could have reported it. The HR person does not need to be punative, but they do need to let the employee know that this language is not appropriate.
If the person doesn’t use the word again—no problem, everyone moves on.
If she does (and by the way, if any of you defensive posters continue to use the word as well) then you their should be consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell har that it made you uncomfortable. My CFO assigned us “spirit animals” and had a Redskins mug and Lanyard. She is not Native American. I sent a note to HR and preato the mug and lanyard were gone and now we have “mascots”

I am an animal person and these words appear in my FB feed daily. Heck, my CA atheist vegan friend posts links to videos of her spirit animal. You seem out of touch with common vernacular.