New boss uses the word retarded. Still. In 2018. At work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - was texting with my husband and he thinks I should just let HR handle it since she's my new boss and I report directly to her; no need to cause waves. I think I'll go that route. Maybe in more of a heads up sort of way.

+1

Let's just pretend that it does not offend anyone in your office. She's dealing with clients and if she offends someone in a major way your company could lose business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be passive aggressive , tell her in private and if it continues report her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Since it’s your boss, I would not be the one to tell her.

If it was a direct report I would. But I would let her handle it for my boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - was texting with my husband and he thinks I should just let HR handle it since she's my new boss and I report directly to her; no need to cause waves. I think I'll go that route. Maybe in more of a heads up sort of way.

+1

Let's just pretend that it does not offend anyone in your office. She's dealing with clients and if she offends someone in a major way your company could lose business.

Agree. HR should be made aware and then leave it up to them to deal with. If they are worth a hoot (which many HRs aren't these days) they'll tell her to knock it off. Either way, she's too new for you to talk to her about it yourself. No point spending what little political capital you have with her at this point on trying to fix her stupid behavior.

And I really can't believe that she doesn't know that she shouldn't be using that word so she likely will have a big chip on her shoulder about it.

[Anonymous]

OP - everyone is overreacting here. this is your new BOSS. Don't make waves. She'll find out one way or another. Don't be the one who runs to HR.

[Anonymous]

What was the context of the use? The word "retarded" in and of itself is fine to use.

Example:

The blockage in the pipe will retard the flow of water. Or The blockage in the pipe retarded the low of water.

The def is: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment, in addition to the disparaging one we all object to.


What you can't say is something like "that's just a retarded thing to do".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - everyone is overreacting here. this is your new BOSS. Don't make waves. She'll find out one way or another. Don't be the one who runs to HR.

This is the wrong answer. In every way. Go to HR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell har that it made you uncomfortable. My CFO assigned us “spirit animals” and had a Redskins mug and Lanyard. She is not Native American. I sent a note to HR and preato the mug and lanyard were gone and now we have “mascots”

Washington Redskin football stuff is taboo now? I know the name is in dispute but have they changed it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was the context of the use? The word "retarded" in and of itself is fine to use.

Example:

The blockage in the pipe will retard the flow of water. Or The blockage in the pipe retarded the low of water.

The def is: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment, in addition to the disparaging one we all object to.


What you can't say is something like "that's just a retarded thing to do".

Well DUH if it was offensive it wasn’t used properly and was meant as an insult or an a synonym for “dumb”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was the context of the use? The word "retarded" in and of itself is fine to use.

Example:

The blockage in the pipe will retard the flow of water. Or The blockage in the pipe retarded the low of water.

The def is: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment, in addition to the disparaging one we all object to.


What you can't say is something like "that's just a retarded thing to do".

oh wow, PP. thanks for telling us that there's a non-offensive way to use the word! all of us are just way too stupid to know that.

thank GOD you're here.

[Anonymous]

I’m embarrassed to admit that I used that word at one point in my life - though the last time I used I was about 10 years ago with my then boyfriend (now DH) while out with his friends. I didn’t even realize I was saying it or how offensive it was. He told me afterward and that was that. If you have a decent relationship with your boss I’d tell her face to face.

Last year we were in a meeting at a client’s office and none of our supervisory staff were there. The most senior person among the clients used a derogatory term for Asian people and we (and it seemed most of them) were mortified. It created a really good learning point to discuss with our supervisor later but we didn’t call our client out on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is blowing my mind.

She's only been on the job for 2 weeks; this is her first week solo without shadowing the person she replaced. She ran her first meeting this morning, which included one of our longtime clients, but seniority wise in the company, she was the highest person on the call. It wasn't just said once, either. The first time she said it, everyone around the table kind of gave each other side looks, like, 'did that really just happen?' She then said it again a bit later and someone on the conference call did the awkward throat clearing and moved the conversation forward.

I grew up in a family with a SN relative, so the r-word is not in our vocabulary at all and it's always striking to hear someone say it. Usually it's teens, but to hear an adult say it in a professional setting is just... wow.

Do I email our client and apologize? Do I let someone higher than this person know? Do I speak with her first privately? Is this just something you tell HR about and let them deal with? Position wise, she's the new Controller and the meeting was made up of the senior members of our finance team as well as this longtime client. I just feel embarrassed she was the main representative from our company on this call and was so unprofessional.

You're overly sensitive. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

my wife's dead sister was retarded so I take umbrage with this too, OP. These people saying you're overly sensitive are probably old right-wingers.

[Anonymous]

What company? I want to know what company has lazy workers that have time on their hands to bother with nonsense and are so easily offended and distracted .

[Anonymous]

I just used it with a completely new group of people. "Apologized" for saying it and it was met with "it's okay, it describes it perfectly, but nobody knows what word to use instead now". I can work with this group of people, such a relief, no need for the fake filtering.