Do I have to tell him? Should I feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

It is semi cheating that got out of hand. block him.

[Anonymous]

Oh, but should you feel guilty is another question. DO you feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

If the messages became sexual, you had an emotional affair. If it's something you wouldn't want your spouse to see, it's cheating. How would you feel if it was him and another woman? It's up to you to do something about it or not, but if you can't handle feeling guilty, you'll ruin your own life. I can keep secrets for years, and never even think about them, but my conscience is seriously messed up. I barely have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the messages became sexual, you had an emotional affair. If it's something you wouldn't want your spouse to see, it's cheating. How would you feel if it was him and another woman? It's up to you to do something about it or not, but if you can't handle feeling guilty, you'll ruin your own life. I can keep secrets for years, and never even think about them, but my conscience is seriously messed up. I barely have one.

x 1000

you had an emotional affair....emotional affair = cheating (just look at the countless number of similar threads here).

you're playing with fire after having played Russian roulette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the fall I was in a wedding. My husband came to the wedding with me and spent time with the groomsmen while I got ready with the bride. When I got home the groomsman I walked with messaged me and we started chatting. Our chats got sexual and personal. We chatted for one week before I ended it. I was in a really bad place and felt like my husband wasn't supporting me, but things are better since I went back to work in the winter and talked to my doctor about depression. The guy still messages me sometimes even though I have asked him to stop. He even writes comments on my husbands FB posts and I get nervous he'll let it slip or straight out tell him. I didn't tell DH but I feel guilty. Is this anxiety something I have to live with? Did I cheat? Can I tell my husband without him leaving me? We have a two year old. TIA

You will be in a another “bad” spot with your husband sometime in the future. So keep this guy on the back burner. I sure you will be able to manufacture something to justify stepping out on your husband.

LOL could anyone imagine the response if the genders had been reversed here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

No, I don't. Highly inappropriate behavior and I'd be unhappy about it, but I wouldn't call it cheating.

[Anonymous]

Not cheating, crosses lines, tell your DH. This is a friend of a friend, you may cross paths again and I wouldn’t want to have my DH in the dark about something like this. It’s not a marriage ender, but you are certainly raising concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not cheating, crosses lines, tell your DH. This is a friend of a friend, you may cross paths again and I wouldn’t want to have my DH in the dark about something like this. It’s not a marriage ender, but you are certainly raising concern.

really does depend on how sexual the texts were. if OP said things like "I wish I had passion in my sex life, I miss the fire and heat, where you're just tearing each other's clothes off and can't wait to get to the bedroom.." vs. "I bet you have a nice d*ck, I want to suck your c*ck and I want you to f*ck me every and any way you want"

BIG difference between the two and very much depends on OP's DH would see things.

Again, if the gender roles were reversed, all the women here who are saying "it's no big deal, don't tell him" would be crucifying the guy for having engaged in this type of behavior with another woman. "Didn't you see any other red flags? Dump him and move on. etc., etc., etc."

OP, you screwed up. It's the brutal truth but you need to own it. Now you have a choice of what to do - fix it and live with the consequences or pretend it never happened and pray to god this OG (other guy) never confront you or your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ummm I can block him but I'm worried that will make him angry and he'll message my DH. They are FB friends. You are rude.

Yeah right, what's he going to say to your DH, "hey man I was trying to bang your wife but the bitch blocked me, what's up with that?"

Admit it, you continue to enjoy the attention and are keeping your options open in case your husband "isn't supporting you" again.

He could screenshot explicit texts and send them to DH.

This guy is not going to do that, because it would reveal that he was actively trying to have sex with the guy's wife.

On top of which, doing that has no benefit for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ummm I can block him but I'm worried that will make him angry and he'll message my DH. They are FB friends. You are rude.

Yeah right, what's he going to say to your DH, "hey man I was trying to bang your wife but the bitch blocked me, what's up with that?"

Admit it, you continue to enjoy the attention and are keeping your options open in case your husband "isn't supporting you" again.

He could screenshot explicit texts and send them to DH.

This guy is not going to do that, because it would reveal that he was actively trying to have sex with the guy's wife.

On top of which, doing that has no benefit for him.

Agreed. Plus, this would get back to the bride and groom - they have a friend who was actively trying to poach another guy's wife at their wedding. They would be livid.

[Anonymous]

This groomsman might be more of a soulmate than your husband. It would be a shame to go through life wondering, What if?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ummm I can block him but I'm worried that will make him angry and he'll message my DH. They are FB friends. You are rude.

Yeah right, what's he going to say to your DH, "hey man I was trying to bang your wife but the bitch blocked me, what's up with that?"

Admit it, you continue to enjoy the attention and are keeping your options open in case your husband "isn't supporting you" again.

He could screenshot explicit texts and send them to DH.

This guy is not going to do that, because it would reveal that he was actively trying to have sex with the guy's wife.

On top of which, doing that has no benefit for him.

What are you talking about? He tried to sleep with his friend's wife. He is definitely not rational or a good friend. She needs to be truthful before it blows up.

[Anonymous]

you had at least an emotional affair. This is cheating. Its OK because you were in a bad place as a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

Of course it's cheating. What a weird question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

Of course it's cheating. What a weird question.

Of course it wasn't cheating. How weird that you think there is only one perspective on this.