Sibling to move out after parents death

[Anonymous]

“Scot free” for 55 years? You blame him for living with his parents when he was born and growing up? Wow.

[Anonymous]

My husband and his sister signed away their rights to any property they inherited so their brother could always have a paid off place to live. Late 50s, has nothing to his name, he now has more than he ever had. The cars, boat, all of it.

If you and your siblings don't need the money, why not let your less fortunate brother have the house ? My sister lives in the house my mother left us. I can't imagine making her move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes the Will divides the house equally to the 4 kids. This older brother has plenty of money to buy his own home although he'd never want to actually buy this family home. To big and probably to expensive for him.

Although he lives with my dad still, he's far from a care giver. If anything he does little to help. I do more and I live miles away. I don't think my 3 other siblings we be money hungry but I think there's a certain amount of frustration that this brother has been living almost scott free in this house for 55 years while the rest of us pay mortgages and property taxes like most adults.

I'm guessing the others will want him out fairly soon after my dads passing. There's a ton of work and cleanup to get the house ready to sell and of course it all falls on me to take care of. At this point I'm thinking of giving him 3 months to move out. As for talking to him about future plans, that makes sense but I know it won't go over well.

That's why you need to do it. ASAP. Embrace the awkwardness. "Low inertia people" (how DH and I put it kindly with a certain family member of mine) do not like change. No matter what he can/can't afford, he'd love to continue living there, without his life changing, or he would have moved 35 years ago. He's made living there a passive daily choice for all this time. I think he needs a little timeline and emotional/processing support to get through this. I also agree w a previous poster who suggested checking out if there is anything mentally/cognitively wrong with him.

FWIW we attempted to talk to my family member about cognitive testing to see whaddup with the lack of inertia on multiple issues (career/light hoarding/lack of any financial awareness/planning/independence and they took it calmly, nodded and said 'makes sense. I can see why you would say that' diplomatically, then never followed up. A kind, very well educated person-not someone we can commit to a home or penitentiary so the other siblings and I just steamroll decisions and don't involve them because they are incapable of relevant/helpful/real world actions/choices. Honestly they are fine with this as long as they aren't the one that needs to make decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes the Will divides the house equally to the 4 kids. This older brother has plenty of money to buy his own home although he'd never want to actually buy this family home. To big and probably to expensive for him.

Although he lives with my dad still, he's far from a care giver. If anything he does little to help. I do more and I live miles away. I don't think my 3 other siblings we be money hungry but I think there's a certain amount of frustration that this brother has been living almost scott free in this house for 55 years while the rest of us pay mortgages and property taxes like most adults.

I'm guessing the others will want him out fairly soon after my dads passing. There's a ton of work and cleanup to get the house ready to sell and of course it all falls on me to take care of. At this point I'm thinking of giving him 3 months to move out. As for talking to him about future plans, that makes sense but I know it won't go over well.

If he lives with him, he is doing a heck of a lot,even if he doesn’t bring your father to the doctor and such.

It’s not like her sibling moved into take care of her father. He never moved out.

That said this is all moot because her parent chose not to leave him the house. OP 3 months seems kind of quick especially if you are thinking he will be purchasing something when he moves out. Maybe 6 months.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]My husband and his sister signed away their rights to any property they inherited so their brother could always have a paid off place to live. Late 50s, has nothing to his name, he now has more than he ever had. The cars, boat, all of it.

If you and your siblings don't need the money, why not let your less fortunate brother have the house ? My sister lives in the house my mother left us. I can't imagine making her move.[/quote]

OP made it clear that her siblings are struggling financially while the 55 year old has the financial means to buy his own place (so exactly the opposite of how you've described it. Even if the brother does have psychological/social difficulties as some have speculated it doesn't mean that he needs to be gifted what sounds like a large/relatively expensive family home to live in solo at the expense of his siblings.

[Anonymous]

Okay I'll make that 37 years then. Does that really make a difference if a 55 year old has never moved out but has held a normal job outside the home? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

"If you and your siblings don't need the money, why not let your less fortunate brother have the house"

He's NOT less fortunate. He has hundred's of thousands of dollars in the bank simply because he's never had to pay rent or a mortgage. I think that's going to be part of the problem. He has PLENTY of money and the rest of us siblings are just typical middle class paying the normal cost of living life with mortgages and such.

[Anonymous]

Op and her siblings are jealous.Leave your brother alone to grieve for your parents and I hope your dad leaves the house to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay I'll make that 37 years then. Does that really make a difference if a 55 year old has never moved out but has held a normal job outside the home? I don't think so.

Actually, in most of the rest of the world it would be perfectly normal.

[Anonymous]

6 months, if he's financially independent. Losing a parent is not easy and if he's been with them and never left his whole world will be chnaged mpre than yours.

[Anonymous]

OP - There is more going on here.

You really don't sound like a very nice person.

Why are you so angry that your brother never moved out? Maybe he and dad liked this arrangement?
Maybe it made dad's life happier?
Maybe you should think about how much easier your life has been because there was someone with your dad on a daily basis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - There is more going on here.

You really don't sound like a very nice person.

Why are you so angry that your brother never moved out? Maybe he and dad liked this arrangement?
Maybe it made dad's life happier?
Maybe you should think about how much easier your life has been because there was someone with your dad on a daily basis?

me again: you and your other sibs sound like vultures.

[Anonymous]

Sheesh - people are mean on here.

OP - talk to your brother and a lawyer. See from the lawyer’s perspective if 6 months seems reasonable. That gives your brother time to sort out his affairs and for you to get the house in order. I would vote for anywhere from 3-9 months. It will be a hard time on all of you so sorting some things out ahead of time makes sense. You also want a lawyer to help you understand now what to do if your brother resists moving out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sheesh - people are mean on here.

OP - talk to your brother and a lawyer. See from the lawyer’s perspective if 6 months seems reasonable. That gives your brother time to sort out his affairs and for you to get the house in order. I would vote for anywhere from 3-9 months. It will be a hard time on all of you so sorting some things out ahead of time makes sense. You also want a lawyer to help you understand now what to do if your brother resists moving out.

Good advice. Your brother either has the choice to buy the rest of his siblings out and stay, or find somewhere else to live. Six months + should be good, and it will probably take some time to get the house ready to sell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and his sister signed away their rights to any property they inherited so their brother could always have a paid off place to live. Late 50s, has nothing to his name, he now has more than he ever had. The cars, boat, all of it.

If you and your siblings don't need the money, why not let your less fortunate brother have the house ? My sister lives in the house my mother left us. I can't imagine making her move.

You are good people pp.

Our 60-ish neighbor had this happen to him. Lived with and took care of dad until he died. Guy works at an auto place, but doesn't make nearly enough to buy his very very old house.
Other siblings agreed and sold the house (to a builder) shortly after the death. Guy had to be out in under 90 days. It was terrible--the one two punch of losing a parent and family home in one season. He was heartbroken.

We knew he had 1 brother, who lives in Germantown area and visited just a few times a year. For years. Had no idea there were other siblings. Never saw them over at all.

Sad state of affairs.