Sibling to move out after parents death

[Anonymous]

Here's a strange one. I've got a 55 year old brother who still lives at home but is financially stable enough to buy his own house. My elderly father hasn't much time left and I'll be the one in charge of the estate including selling my deceased parents home when he's gone.

Although I'm in no need of money myself I realize my other siblings haven't done as well and will be looking for the family house to be sold ASAP. What's the proper amount of time to give my brother to move out and buy his own place? I can see this being hard subject to bring up when it happens.

[Anonymous]

* Lives at home - meaning he never moved out of our parents house. Sorry for the confusion.

[Anonymous]

Will your brother be able to afford to buy the family home from your father’s estate? Then he’ll be able to stay where he is and you and your siblings will still get your inheritance.

Maybe you should bring the issue up with your brother now, so that no one is in the throes of grief when you need to do it. Ask him what his plans are for the future to get a sense of what his thoughts are.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your dad is planning to leave him the house. Honestly, your siblings sound like vultures, planning to boost their finances around your dad's dearh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dad is planning to leave him the house.

This is probably the case. dad gives brother the house and splits the rest of the estate with the rest of the siblings.

have you given any thought to the fact that maybe dad has already deeded the house over your brother and its no longer part of dads estate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a strange one. I've got a 55 year old brother who still lives at home but is financially stable enough to buy his own house. My elderly father hasn't much time left and I'll be the one in charge of the estate including selling my deceased parents home when he's gone.

Although I'm in no need of money myself I realize my other siblings haven't done as well and will be looking for the family house to be sold ASAP. What's the proper amount of time to give my brother to move out and buy his own place? I can see this being hard subject to bring up when it happens.

If he has been living at home with his father his whole life, please give him time to grieve before you kick him out. He has likely born the brunt of the caregiving of your father to boot. Have a plan, but don’t do it immediately.

[Anonymous]

Is he the one currently caretaking your father?

[Anonymous]

Is the house in good shape? Will it take some time and effort to have it ready for sale?

My BIL lived with my ILs off and on and moved in permanently when my FIL died. He was terrible about mechanical maintenance and housekeeping generally, so he needed to be out before the house could go on the market after MIL died, and because it was a big house that would mostly appeal to families, we wanted it on the market by late spring. He moved out (and in with friends who needed someone in their group house) about 6 weeks after MIL died.

Do you think your brother will want to stay in the house? Not to be cold, but you might want to know the name of an appraiser so you can present the facts: The house is worth X. If that's what you want out of the estate, fine.

[Anonymous]

1 year

[Anonymous]

What does your Dad's will say about the house? If it's simply part of a total estate and not specifically left to your brother then he needs to either buy it with the proceeds going to the estate and then disbursed or move out. An estate lawyer can help guide you through all of this. Tell your other siblings that unwinding an estate can easily take a year or more based on my recent experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dad is planning to leave him the house.

This is probably the case. dad gives brother the house and splits the rest of the estate with the rest of the siblings.

have you given any thought to the fact that maybe dad has already deeded the house over your brother and its no longer part of dads estate?

I'm sure OP knows the contents of the will if he's the executor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1 year

This is nuts unless all siblings are on board.

[Anonymous]

We have a similar situation with my DH brother. He first took care of my MIL and will do same for my FIL who, while in pretty good health is 95. While BIL has assets no way could he purchase the home which would sell for upwards of 1mil even though it’s a tear down-and we also know he’s not being given the house. The difference is that he’s the executor so will control timing and if and when House is sold he effectively has an apartment in the basement so could live there through any selling period. I hope siblings give him at least a year. I know some of them are not well off but I feel this would be a compassionate decision.

[Anonymous]

I would start by just having an open ended conversation with your brother: "What do you see yourself doing after dad passes?" If he says-"I already have my eye on this sweet little condo" or "I'm moving in with my secret lady friend" or "Dad and I talked and he wants me to have the house," then you'll have a better sense of what you're working with

[Anonymous]

My SIL went through this when her parents died but different in that her brother didn't always live there - he just moved his whole family in (from another town!) after they died to "look after the house." It was a series of hard conversations that led to market rate rent being charged and paid to the estate and then the house was eventually sold two years later. This situation could have been much better handled with upfront and direct conversations when the parents were still alive.

I'm a big fan on putting the tough issues on the table sooner rather than later. So I think you should talk to your dad first about what his will says and what his wishes are that may not be in writing.