Sibling to move out after parents death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - There is more going on here.

You really don't sound like a very nice person.

Why are you so angry that your brother never moved out? Maybe he and dad liked this arrangement?
Maybe it made dad's life happier?
Maybe you should think about how much easier your life has been because there was someone with your dad on a daily basis?

me again: you and your other sibs sound like vultures.

DP. +1

[Anonymous]

OP here again. The answers here to my question have taken a life of their own. I think many of you are reading to deep into this. The majority of the comments have nothing to do with this situation and simply don't reflect what going on. In simple terms, if I'm the executor of the will and need to sell the home, what is a reasonable amount of time to give an adult family member to move out assuming he has the financial means to do so.

[Anonymous]

Ask over in the real estate forum, op. Or better yet, ask your dads attorney who drafted the will. You are on the right track. Your job is to follow the will, period. Death of a parent is emotional enough without taking on the fairness/family dynamic too.

By the way,it is completely reasonable for people to be frustrated with a siblings arrested development and not want him to profit further from this housing situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The answers here to my question have taken a life of their own. I think many of you are reading to deep into this. The majority of the comments have nothing to do with this situation and simply don't reflect what going on. In simple terms, if I'm the executor of the will and need to sell the home, what is a reasonable amount of time to give an adult family member to move out assuming he has the financial means to do so.

So I will repeat my original answer. Here is what we thought was reasonable.

I had this discussion with my mom recently. I am her executor. Should she predecease him, her boyfriend will get one year to leave before I can take possession of the house. We agreed that seemed reasonable. (Yes, boyfriend seems a silly word to describe 80 year olds, but I don't know a more accurate one. He's a good guy)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6 months, if he's financially independent. Losing a parent is not easy and if he's been with them and never left his whole world will be chnaged mpre than yours.

I agree with the second half of your statement. But the first seems short. Suppose it takes 2 months before he gets to a time in his mourning where he is ready to look. Suppose it is the end of the year when not much is available. This would be a very short time to find a place, buy it - maybe get outbid the first time and have to find another place, close on it, and move.

Sure people can do these things quickly (have done so myself), but why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The answers here to my question have taken a life of their own. I think many of you are reading to deep into this. The majority of the comments have nothing to do with this situation and simply don't reflect what going on. In simple terms, if I'm the executor of the will and need to sell the home, what is a reasonable amount of time to give an adult family member to move out assuming he has the financial means to do so.

It depends on how fast others need the money from the sale.
It depends on how fast he can secure housing. Should he be looking for something ideal or just jump into a random apt.? Depending on where this is could be a big factor.
Has he been forewarned this is what will happen?
Is pushing it going to cause a rift or does brother understand his siblings need the money?
These are questions only you can answer based on family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The answers here to my question have taken a life of their own. I think many of you are reading to deep into this. The majority of the comments have nothing to do with this situation and simply don't reflect what going on. In simple terms, if I'm the executor of the will and need to sell the home, what is a reasonable amount of time to give an adult family member to move out assuming he has the financial means to do so.

one year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The answers here to my question have taken a life of their own. I think many of you are reading to deep into this. The majority of the comments have nothing to do with this situation and simply don't reflect what going on. In simple terms, if I'm the executor of the will and need to sell the home, what is a reasonable amount of time to give an adult family member to move out assuming he has the financial means to do so.

So I will repeat my original answer. Here is what we thought was reasonable.

I had this discussion with my mom recently. I am her executor. Should she predecease him, her boyfriend will get one year to leave before I can take possession of the house. We agreed that seemed reasonable. (Yes, boyfriend seems a silly word to describe 80 year olds, but I don't know a more accurate one. He's a good guy)

I agree with this. My sister lives in our family home. My dad passed away 5 years ago. She's only just now in a position to move out. Part of that is a cancer diagnosis from a couple of years ago that delayed things. But in general, I think a year is a reasonable time period. You may find there are specific circumstances that warrant pushing it up.

[Anonymous]

We were in a situation where we moved into a family home that one sibling wanted to sell while another did not. We paid rent to the one who wanted to sell which pacified her until the siblings could agree on what to do.

You don’t mention if your brother expects to have to move out. That’s a huge part of this puzzle.

So is the relationship between the siblings. I know my brother would totally understand and respond to urgency if I needed my share of money for immediate needs (my child heading to college next year) vs. my insisting on my share immediately when I only wanted to put it away for retirement which is not a rush. Forcing him to rush into something would only create friction in that case.

That said, it sounds like your brother has time to plan - provided you open this conversation now rather than waiting for your father to pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - There is more going on here.

You really don't sound like a very nice person.

Why are you so angry that your brother never moved out? Maybe he and dad liked this arrangement?
Maybe it made dad's life happier?
Maybe you should think about how much easier your life has been because there was someone with your dad on a daily basis?

Agreed! You sound like an awful person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's been taking care of your father, he should get the house!

If he's living there rent free, he's had quite a deal already. Why should he get the whole house??

[Anonymous]

Three years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - There is more going on here.

You really don't sound like a very nice person.

Why are you so angry that your brother never moved out? Maybe he and dad liked this arrangement?
Maybe it made dad's life happier?
Maybe you should think about how much easier your life has been because there was someone with your dad on a daily basis?

Agreed! You sound like an awful person.

It doesn't sound like OP's brother is in a position to maintain the house properly even if he gets it free. You guys are either trolls, or you're just fools. OP, I was in this situation. I gave my brother 10 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's been taking care of your father, he should get the house!

If he's living there rent free, he's had quite a deal already. Why should he get the whole house??

NP here. Rent free? The brother has been taking care of the parents! I personally would never do this but my sister would. The brother should not be paying rent if he is caring for the parents. DCUM is crazy. In most major cultures of the world children care for their parents. Multigenenerational families are the norm. In these family structures a child caring for a parent does not pay rent. This is so odd and speaks to attachment issues. Jeez DC area.

[Anonymous]

Agree with one year being appropriate. 9 months at the very least.