Talking in front of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

No, it was the fact that I couldn't find my thermals in 10 degree weather, feeling behind that others were waiting outside and ready to go, was PMS'ing, and got slammed at work right before leaving for vacation. The last point was probably what threw me off the most.

You are obtusely missing the point throughout the whole thread. It was you. You were unpleasant and unwilling to see that. What do you want from us? You're no picnic here, I can't imagine having to be on this vacation with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

No, it was the fact that I couldn't find my thermals in 10 degree weather, feeling behind that others were waiting outside and ready to go, was PMS'ing, and got slammed at work right before leaving for vacation. The last point was probably what threw me off the most.

You are obtusely missing the point throughout the whole thread. It was you. You were unpleasant and unwilling to see that. What do you want from us? You're no picnic here, I can't imagine having to be on this vacation with you.

Are you always put together and perfect? I always go with the flow, stand up when I see someone being taken advantage of, try to help and offer a hand, etc. I feel like I had one bad morning, and they all just turned on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

No, it was the fact that I couldn't find my thermals in 10 degree weather, feeling behind that others were waiting outside and ready to go, was PMS'ing, and got slammed at work right before leaving for vacation. The last point was probably what threw me off the most.

You are obtusely missing the point throughout the whole thread. It was you. You were unpleasant and unwilling to see that. What do you want from us? You're no picnic here, I can't imagine having to be on this vacation with you.

Are you always put together and perfect? I always go with the flow, stand up when I see someone being taken advantage of, try to help and offer a hand, etc. I feel like I had one bad morning, and they all just turned on me.

I pointed out earlier that you were probably more stressed (and probably unpleasant) to be around than you thought. You also seem to be very defensive to the point of not entertaining that. Think about it-- you said they ALL turned on you-- that's a sign. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you didn’t handle any of this very well OP. Maybe you “go with the flow” normally but it sounds like you were a huge pain to be around in this instance. I haaate going on group vacations with people who act like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Not enough to be super upset about. Honestly, you sound frazzled either because you lost your thermals and helmet or frazzled is your nature. You are upset about the eggs even though it's not his fault that others ate your portion. I think your feelings were hurt and you felt left out/ignored and you took it out on him.

That's the thing. I was irritated, but only got upset when I first heard cousin's husband, then cousin both talk about me separately.

I'm normally put-together, on time, and go with the flow. I wasn't as put together on this trip due to a series of bad events, including a rough workweek before heading there, but I would have appreciated at least a "is everything okay" or something, as opposed to folks talking behind my back. You're right, I did feel left out/ignored, then it compounded when I heard them. And no, I didn't sleep in, I was up before DH, just got late looking for my things.

Perhaps you were more stressed than you thought and believe me, it shows more than we'd like. So while talking infront of you is not cool they may not have felt like they could approach you. Is there a chance you were snappy with them? If so, that could be a reason why they were not willing to talk to you.

No, just my husband. And he snapped at me as well.

Your story is changing as you tell it. First by the time you go upstairs your DH has already made eggs and they've ll been eaten, now you were up before him but just took forever to get out of the house because you couldn't find a shirt? First you were perfectly calm and pleasant to everyone even though -- woe is you -- you had a stubbed toe and had to make your own eggs, now you were in a snappish fight with your husband in front of everyone?

Everyone on the trip and everyone on the thread is getting the same read here -- you were out of line and bitchy and people were tiptoeing around you and pitying your DH. Apologize and do better in the future.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's you, not them. And now you're still here, obsessing about nothing. You need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Morning, everyone. Wow, the jet lag is really kicking my butt and I'm totally out of sync. Sorry to be running behind, I just can't seem to find any of my gear."

*helps self to remaining communal breakfast*

"Oooh, these are good. I think I'll make some more for myself -- does anyone else need seconds?"

*cracks egg(s) into bowl, adds milk, S&P, applies fork to whisk*

"So what's the plan for this morning? What time do you all want to leave?"

*is told a time in the immediate future*

"Crap, then I need to get in the shower. Husband, would you mind taking over at the stove while I get ready? And do you know where my thermals and helmet may have wandered off to?"

*appears back in kitchen fully dressed, scarfs down remaining eggs as others pack car. throws plate in dishwasher and carries out remaining stuff.*

"Thanks for waiting, guys. I'm really looking forward to this! Sorry to be a slowpoke this morning; the first apres beers are on Husband and me. Speaking of which, I need to stop by the ski shop to get my bindings adjusted. You all go ahead and I'll catch up with you in a couple of runs."

- fin -

I wish I could be like you, PP. Please tell me your secret.

I am not PP but the secret is to be grateful you’re on vacation. Don’t paint yourself as the victim and don’t worry about stupid crap like “I only had a bite of egg left.” How hard is it to just be cool? If they leave you behind, YOU’RE STILL ON VACATION. You’re not at work. You’re not toiling away with 5 kids. This is so ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Here's what happened:
My shit was moved
These fools ate all the damn food and I had to cook my own
THEN, THEN these motherf******** didn't even wait for me
So yea I was pissy AF all morning
And then they wanted to ask DH what the f*** my issue was
And the issue was that you were funky as hell all morning. The Lawd may have kept your mouth closed,but he didn't bother fixing your face.
I know this because that would have been me, except I would have recognized it and would not have turnt up just because someone ask.
Move on with your life, a mood is not cause for an international incident. Don't turn a mood into a "thing"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're not as subtle as you think you are, and other people found you unapproachable in your pique.

Agree. And if you were two feet away when they asked him, they were letting you know they were uncomfortable with how you dealt with things and were open to his side of things. I'd check myself and choose not to be hurt.

How do you choose not to be hurt? They clearly made a plan without me, which was hurtful. In fact, I was going to take ski lessons, but DH suggested that I take them here so we could all ski together on our trip.

Its normal to be upset when you feel left out, there is nothing wrong with you, it was wrong of your DH to invite you to come along so everyone could ski together just to leave you out because heaven forbid they have to wait a few minutes. It was also wrong of him to leave you out of breakfast. OP in case you have not noticed this is not the best forum to come looking for empathy or understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're not as subtle as you think you are, and other people found you unapproachable in your pique.

Agree. And if you were two feet away when they asked him, they were letting you know they were uncomfortable with how you dealt with things and were open to his side of things. I'd check myself and choose not to be hurt.

How do you choose not to be hurt? They clearly made a plan without me, which was hurtful. In fact, I was going to take ski lessons, but DH suggested that I take them here so we could all ski together on our trip.

Its normal to be upset when you feel left out, there is nothing wrong with you, it was wrong of your DH to invite you to come along so everyone could ski together just to leave you out because heaven forbid they have to wait a few minutes. It was also wrong of him to leave you out of breakfast. OP in case you have not noticed this is not the best forum to come looking for empathy or understanding.

It's not normal for an adult to be so upset over such small things that she destroys the vibe of a group vacation on Day One. OP needs some kind of CBT, not to just keep calling herself "go with the flow" and attacking people who don't perceive her as a victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Here's what happened:
My shit was moved
These fools ate all the damn food and I had to cook my own
THEN, THEN these motherf******** didn't even wait for me
So yea I was pissy AF all morning
And then they wanted to ask DH what the f*** my issue was
And the issue was that you were funky as hell all morning. The Lawd may have kept your mouth closed,but he didn't bother fixing your face.
I know this because that would have been me, except I would have recognized it and would not have turnt up just because someone ask.
Move on with your life, a mood is not cause for an international incident. Don't turn a mood into a "thing"

Who are you? Can you be my friend? I need someone like you in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

No, it was the fact that I couldn't find my thermals in 10 degree weather, feeling behind that others were waiting outside and ready to go, was PMS'ing, and got slammed at work right before leaving for vacation. The last point was probably what threw me off the most.

You are obtusely missing the point throughout the whole thread. It was you. You were unpleasant and unwilling to see that. What do you want from us? You're no picnic here, I can't imagine having to be on this vacation with you.

Are you always put together and perfect? I always go with the flow, stand up when I see someone being taken advantage of, try to help and offer a hand, etc. I feel like I had one bad morning, and they all just turned on me.

You have described day one. How was the rest of the vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Here's what happened:
My shit was moved
These fools ate all the damn food and I had to cook my own
THEN, THEN these motherf******** didn't even wait for me
So yea I was pissy AF all morning
And then they wanted to ask DH what the f*** my issue was
And the issue was that you were funky as hell all morning. The Lawd may have kept your mouth closed,but he didn't bother fixing your face.
I know this because that would have been me, except I would have recognized it and would not have turnt up just because someone ask.
Move on with your life, a mood is not cause for an international incident. Don't turn a mood into a "thing"

Who are you? Can you be my friend? I need someone like you in my life.

Agreed. Please comment on every post on this board. I love your perspective and writing style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Here's what happened:
My shit was moved
These fools ate all the damn food and I had to cook my own
THEN, THEN these motherf******** didn't even wait for me
So yea I was pissy AF all morning
And then they wanted to ask DH what the f*** my issue was
And the issue was that you were funky as hell all morning. The Lawd may have kept your mouth closed,but he didn't bother fixing your face.
I know this because that would have been me, except I would have recognized it and would not have turnt up just because someone ask.
Move on with your life, a mood is not cause for an international incident. Don't turn a mood into a "thing"

Who are you? Can you be my friend? I need someone like you in my life.

Of course you can be my friend. But you have been warned - I have my moods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Here's what happened:
My shit was moved
These fools ate all the damn food and I had to cook my own
THEN, THEN these motherf******** didn't even wait for me
So yea I was pissy AF all morning
And then they wanted to ask DH what the f*** my issue was
And the issue was that you were funky as hell all morning. The Lawd may have kept your mouth closed,but he didn't bother fixing your face.
I know this because that would have been me, except I would have recognized it and would not have turnt up just because someone ask.
Move on with your life, a mood is not cause for an international incident. Don't turn a mood into a "thing"

Who are you? Can you be my friend? I need someone like you in my life.

Agreed. Please comment on every post on this board. I love your perspective and writing style.

hahaha - thanks