Talking in front of you

[Anonymous]

You ARE being a pain in the ass. Literally none of that is worth getting upset over. Not one single thing. I wouldn’t talk to you either if you were creating an awkward atmosphere over nothing.

I vacation every year with two other couples. We do not have to have a group discussion about everything. Usually two or three of the group come up with a plan and that’s it. One person makes breakfast and too bad if you weren’t up to get your full plate of food, nor is the “cook” a psychic who can tell exactly how much everyone wants to eat.

And FFS, watch where you’re walking. The fact that you stubbed your toe is no one’s fault but your own! Geez!

[Anonymous]

If you create public drama ... your life will be public drama

[Anonymous]

I don't think this thread went how OP thought it would go.

[Anonymous]

You slept in and everyone else made plans and ate breakfast and then you got pissy because they had to wait for you. The problem is not with them.

[Anonymous]

"Morning, everyone. Wow, the jet lag is really kicking my butt and I'm totally out of sync. Sorry to be running behind, I just can't seem to find any of my gear."

*helps self to remaining communal breakfast*

"Oooh, these are good. I think I'll make some more for myself -- does anyone else need seconds?"

*cracks egg(s) into bowl, adds milk, S&P, applies fork to whisk*

"So what's the plan for this morning? What time do you all want to leave?"

*is told a time in the immediate future*

"Crap, then I need to get in the shower. Husband, would you mind taking over at the stove while I get ready? And do you know where my thermals and helmet may have wandered off to?"

*appears back in kitchen fully dressed, scarfs down remaining eggs as others pack car. throws plate in dishwasher and carries out remaining stuff.*

"Thanks for waiting, guys. I'm really looking forward to this! Sorry to be a slowpoke this morning; the first apres beers are on Husband and me. Speaking of which, I need to stop by the ski shop to get my bindings adjusted. You all go ahead and I'll catch up with you in a couple of runs."

- fin -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You ARE being a pain in the ass. Literally none of that is worth getting upset over. Not one single thing. I wouldn’t talk to you either if you were creating an awkward atmosphere over nothing.

I vacation every year with two other couples. We do not have to have a group discussion about everything. Usually two or three of the group come up with a plan and that’s it. One person makes breakfast and too bad if you weren’t up to get your full plate of food, nor is the “cook” a psychic who can tell exactly how much everyone wants to eat.

And FFS, watch where you’re walking. The fact that you stubbed your toe is no one’s fault but your own! Geez!

+1. You were so late that everyone else had already eaten. You were there to ski not sleep in. You probably annoyed everyone by taking your sweet time getting ready

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Not enough to be super upset about. Honestly, you sound frazzled either because you lost your thermals and helmet or frazzled is your nature. You are upset about the eggs even though it's not his fault that others ate your portion. I think your feelings were hurt and you felt left out/ignored and you took it out on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Morning, everyone. Wow, the jet lag is really kicking my butt and I'm totally out of sync. Sorry to be running behind, I just can't seem to find any of my gear."

*helps self to remaining communal breakfast*

"Oooh, these are good. I think I'll make some more for myself -- does anyone else need seconds?"

*cracks egg(s) into bowl, adds milk, S&P, applies fork to whisk*

"So what's the plan for this morning? What time do you all want to leave?"

*is told a time in the immediate future*

"Crap, then I need to get in the shower. Husband, would you mind taking over at the stove while I get ready? And do you know where my thermals and helmet may have wandered off to?"

*appears back in kitchen fully dressed, scarfs down remaining eggs as others pack car. throws plate in dishwasher and carries out remaining stuff.*

"Thanks for waiting, guys. I'm really looking forward to this! Sorry to be a slowpoke this morning; the first apres beers are on Husband and me. Speaking of which, I need to stop by the ski shop to get my bindings adjusted. You all go ahead and I'll catch up with you in a couple of runs."

- fin -

I love this so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Not enough to be super upset about. Honestly, you sound frazzled either because you lost your thermals and helmet or frazzled is your nature. You are upset about the eggs even though it's not his fault that others ate your portion. I think your feelings were hurt and you felt left out/ignored and you took it out on him.

That's the thing. I was irritated, but only got upset when I first heard cousin's husband, then cousin both talk about me separately.

I'm normally put-together, on time, and go with the flow. I wasn't as put together on this trip due to a series of bad events, including a rough workweek before heading there, but I would have appreciated at least a "is everything okay" or something, as opposed to folks talking behind my back. You're right, I did feel left out/ignored, then it compounded when I heard them. And no, I didn't sleep in, I was up before DH, just got late looking for my things.

[Anonymous]

The other thing is we've done this trip with this group before at least 2-3 times now, just a different location, and ALWAYS start the first day together. I was thrown off that there was a separate plan to go out a specific time that I apparently missed. DH even convinced me to not take the lessons I was thinking about taking so that we could all ski together. BTW, we're not talking about noon or anything. They left around 9:30 in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Not enough to be super upset about. Honestly, you sound frazzled either because you lost your thermals and helmet or frazzled is your nature. You are upset about the eggs even though it's not his fault that others ate your portion. I think your feelings were hurt and you felt left out/ignored and you took it out on him.

That's the thing. I was irritated, but only got upset when I first heard cousin's husband, then cousin both talk about me separately.

I'm normally put-together, on time, and go with the flow. I wasn't as put together on this trip due to a series of bad events, including a rough workweek before heading there, but I would have appreciated at least a "is everything okay" or something, as opposed to folks talking behind my back. You're right, I did feel left out/ignored, then it compounded when I heard them. And no, I didn't sleep in, I was up before DH, just got late looking for my things.

Perhaps you were more stressed than you thought and believe me, it shows more than we'd like. So while talking infront of you is not cool they may not have felt like they could approach you. Is there a chance you were snappy with them? If so, that could be a reason why they were not willing to talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happened. Went skiing out west with DH, another couple (one person is my cousin) and two other people (not married).

The men must have talked about leaving at a specific time in the morning to ski, but I was not part of that conversation.

When I woke up on first day of skiing, I had a scratchy throat, and had stubbed my toe on DH’s board bag the night before. Looked in DH’s board bag for my thermals and couldn’t find them, so got a little frantic (it was in the teens). Went upstairs and DH had made eggs, but everyone had eaten all of them except left a tiny bite for me. I gave the tiny bite to DH to finish off, then made my own eggs.

Meanwhile everyone has eaten, so they get ready to go. I’m still finishing my eggs. The men wait outside for my DH to go, but at that point, I didn’t ask them to wait, since they clearly had talked about a time, and I wasn’t part of that convo. So they leave and my cousin waits for me.

After I finish eggs, I go back to room and find my thermals on the bed. DH had moved them there. I change, look for my helmet and goggles, can’t find them so go out without them, try to put rented skis on but bindings are too tight, plus hurts with stubbed toe, so give up. Thought about driving back down to ski shop to get bindings loosened, but an hour later, it starts snowing quite hard so don’t feel comfortable driving someone else’s rental.

When the men return, DH asks about helmet - tell me it was in his backpack, which I didn’t know to look into. Other than that short convo, I didn’t say anything else or snap at anyone, including DH. Honestly I felt excluded from the beginning of that morning when the men clearly had talked about a plan and waited on each other, but not me.

And I’m usually not a person that keeps others waiting - in this case, I just couldn’t find my thermals and it turns out DH had taken them out of the bag and moved them without telling me, so I felt frantic as soon as I woke up. Yes, I was cold and irritated, but I certainly wasn’t raging such that others would think it’s okay to talk about me like that. But yes, you’re right that others didn’t know DH had moved my stuff, which made me a little frantic, so they must have assumed I was unreasonably late and upset for no reason.

Not enough to be super upset about. Honestly, you sound frazzled either because you lost your thermals and helmet or frazzled is your nature. You are upset about the eggs even though it's not his fault that others ate your portion. I think your feelings were hurt and you felt left out/ignored and you took it out on him.

That's the thing. I was irritated, but only got upset when I first heard cousin's husband, then cousin both talk about me separately.

I'm normally put-together, on time, and go with the flow. I wasn't as put together on this trip due to a series of bad events, including a rough workweek before heading there, but I would have appreciated at least a "is everything okay" or something, as opposed to folks talking behind my back. You're right, I did feel left out/ignored, then it compounded when I heard them. And no, I didn't sleep in, I was up before DH, just got late looking for my things.

Perhaps you were more stressed than you thought and believe me, it shows more than we'd like. So while talking infront of you is not cool they may not have felt like they could approach you. Is there a chance you were snappy with them? If so, that could be a reason why they were not willing to talk to you.

No, just my husband. And he snapped at me as well.

[Anonymous]

I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you brought all the drama here OP. You stubbed your toe he day before and woke up with a scratchy throat and this completely threw you off? Are you two?

No, it was the fact that I couldn't find my thermals in 10 degree weather, feeling behind that others were waiting outside and ready to go, was PMS'ing, and got slammed at work right before leaving for vacation. The last point was probably what threw me off the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Morning, everyone. Wow, the jet lag is really kicking my butt and I'm totally out of sync. Sorry to be running behind, I just can't seem to find any of my gear."

*helps self to remaining communal breakfast*

"Oooh, these are good. I think I'll make some more for myself -- does anyone else need seconds?"

*cracks egg(s) into bowl, adds milk, S&P, applies fork to whisk*

"So what's the plan for this morning? What time do you all want to leave?"

*is told a time in the immediate future*

"Crap, then I need to get in the shower. Husband, would you mind taking over at the stove while I get ready? And do you know where my thermals and helmet may have wandered off to?"

*appears back in kitchen fully dressed, scarfs down remaining eggs as others pack car. throws plate in dishwasher and carries out remaining stuff.*

"Thanks for waiting, guys. I'm really looking forward to this! Sorry to be a slowpoke this morning; the first apres beers are on Husband and me. Speaking of which, I need to stop by the ski shop to get my bindings adjusted. You all go ahead and I'll catch up with you in a couple of runs."

- fin -

I wish I could be like you, PP. Please tell me your secret.