What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My STBX went home after the birth of our son - home was fifteen minutes away - to pick up some things, including food. He ended up falling asleep and came back five hours later.

And you hold this against him??? Good grief.

+1

If this is the most selfish thing he has ever done, he's fine.

Um okay. I'm in a foreign hospital alone with a newborn and dad goes and takes a multi-hour nap? Yes, that's selfish.

[Anonymous]

Had a love child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had a love child.

Did you guys divorce? Does he bring the child around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our first child was born three weeks before the wedding of one of his best friends so I told him to go alone and I would stay home with the baby. The wedding was about 45 minutes away. He said he would leave after the wedding was over and at around 11pm, he called to say he was going out for a beer with his buddies and would come right home. At around 12:30/1:00, he called me to say that as he was pulling off to a rest stop to use the restroom, he crashed into the metal guardrail (almost totaled my car) and needed me to come pick him up. On a cold, rainy night with a newborn. Nope. I told him to call his parents and they could help him. Neither his mother nor I spoke to him for quite a few days.

I was due on a Saturday, and we were invited to 2 weddings that day (1 friend of mine, 1 friend of his). I declined my friend's wedding. He tried like hell to convince me that it would be fine for him to go to his friend's wedding. And he didn't want to go to the ceremony, only the reception since that was the more "important" piece of their day. He really just wanted to party with his friends. Friday night I told him that it felt like things were happening and he accused me of being dramatic to keep him from going to the wedding reception. Thank god I actually went into labor Saturday morning and had DC around noon, or else he for sure would have ditched me that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a love child.

Did you guys divorce? Does he bring the child around?

No, still married.

The mother, sadly, does not allow the child to come around our house so he sees the child separately.

[Anonymous]

He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.

[Anonymous]

i can't really think of anything. DH has his flaws--temper, forgetfulness, can be critical--but he is not selfish. puts me and the kids first. partly why I married him.

[Anonymous]

Most selfish thing my now ex did was to beg me to stay with him.

He begged me after lying to me extensively about his repeated cheating. I knew that he had cheated but he lied to me about pretty much every aspect of it - with whom, how much, where, etc.

I remember looking him in the eye and saying, "Don't do this to me - don't ask me to stay unless you are really committed to monogamy. Don't steal more time from me."

Needless to say, he had no intention and no capacity to be monogamous or the least bit honest.

Several years later after his lies were uncovered, I kicked him out.

The most selfish thing he ever did was steal my life to use as he pleased, to steal my autonomy by deceiving me.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, most of these examples don't seem that bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.

Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, most of these examples don't seem that bad.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My STBX went home after the birth of our son - home was fifteen minutes away - to pick up some things, including food. He ended up falling asleep and came back five hours later.

And you hold this against him??? Good grief.

+1

If this is the most selfish thing he has ever done, he's fine.

Um okay. I'm in a foreign hospital alone with a newborn and dad goes and takes a multi-hour nap? Yes, that's selfish.

+1

[Anonymous]

Refuse to stay awake with me when I was in labor because he was tired and the next day was going to be busy with the arrival of the baby.

[Anonymous]

He had an affair-- but we are still married and I can say he would insist I go straight to the doctor when I'm sick, let me rest, watch our son so I can go out with friends or take a nap, remember my birthday, never become aggressive or verbally abusive...it's the reason we worked through the affair.
These little things may seem little, but like the bad stuff, they add up over time- it's why he had enough good will banked that I was willing to work it out instead of divorcing him (which was quite tempting at the time). Of course he knows he will need a new place to live if it ever happens again. Goes without saying.

[Anonymous]

Forgot our wedding anniversary. The following year he missed my birthday so he could attend a football game. He thought I would "understand"since it was his favorite pro team. Those were just 2 examples. I checked out of the marriage after that. Most selfish thing I did to him was when I had an affair and ended the marriage.