What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.

Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.

Hardly the universal opinion among parents.

Only among educated ones.

[Anonymous]

DH did not take care of himself in his 30's and 40's. Now in his 50's, he has diabetes and a heart condition.

[Anonymous]

I'd heard so much about Breaking Bad, I started watching the old episodes on Hulu. I realized what a fabulous series it was, told DH he'd love it and we should watch it together. I re-watched half the first season with him (so we could enjoy it together and talk about it, KWIM?). We watched 2 seasons together. He then got sick and took a week off work. While he was off, he watched all the remaining episodes without me. But, he didn't tell me until after he'd watched them all! What a selfish prick! I have since refused to watch any more of them. F*ck it.

Now, I don't even bother to find shows we might watch together. I just look for shows our tween DS and I can enjoy together (it was something we did even before binging on Breaking Bad). When DH asks me about shows we should watch together, I just look at him and say "Breaking Bad".

Otherwise, he's a good guy and our marriage is pretty good.

we have a don't ask don't tell policy about this. DH travels a lot for work and I know he watches/finished entire seasons in his hotel room. But he pretends he hasn't so that we watch them together. Now that is love.

oh, if we're talking about having a baby--DH did not stay with me with #2 (which was my first c section). I sent him home to care for our toddler. I was in good hands, though. The first baby, it was nice to have him there and obviously he wanted to be there and bond with the baby, etc. But there's a lot of just sitting around while mom tries to nurse. I wanted DH to bring me some decent food, decent coffee, and field the phone calls, etc. And, he had to run out to get preemie clothes at the last minute because we had a full term but unexpectedly tiny baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.

Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.

Hardly the universal opinion among parents.

Only among educated ones.

No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.

[Anonymous]

He chose alcohol over his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.

Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.

Hardly the universal opinion among parents.

Only among educated ones.

No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.

I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.

And I fathered a kid I didn't want, and I knew a mom who didn't want kids, hated the idea. Not everyone agrees with you about babies being disposable. Get that through your thick skull. Your opinion is that, your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.

And I fathered a kid I didn't want, and I knew a mom who didn't want kids, hated the idea. Not everyone agrees with you about babies being disposable. Get that through your thick skull. Your opinion is that, your opinion.

And the same to you ..... your opinion is your opinion. It is no more or less valuable, no more or less correct than my opinion. And, please don't mischaracterize what I am saying: I don't think babies are disposable. To the contrary, I think babies are so valuable that people should actively decide to bring them into this world and to do so only when they are prepared to give a full commitment to caring for them.

[Anonymous]

I think babies are so valuable that people should actively decide to bring them into this world and to do so only when they are prepared to give a full commitment to caring for them.

And if one gets conceived accidentally, it's not selfish to have the baby, my original point some posts back. It's both normal to want a child that's on its way, and it's growing up a little to tackle the project. It's not selfish, nor is it a consensus among "educated people" that that embryo is just a mass of cells.

[Anonymous]

"Forgot" her birth control and sabotaged mine, but the abortion taught her well.

[Anonymous]

He chose alcohol over his family.

There's a lot more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgot our wedding anniversary. The following year he missed my birthday so he could attend a football game. He thought I would "understand"since it was his favorite pro team. Those were just 2 examples. I checked out of the marriage after that. Most selfish thing I did to him was when I had an affair and ended the marriage.

These seem totally not like a big deal, and something that EVERY man could do. They can spot a hedgehog along the highway at 75 MPH, but they can't recall anniversaries. NBD to me. Obviously it was to you, though.

This is sexist bullshit. Men have been raised that they are not responsible. He wasn't born that way. I feel so sorry for women married to man-babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think babies are so valuable that people should actively decide to bring them into this world and to do so only when they are prepared to give a full commitment to caring for them.

And if one gets conceived accidentally, it's not selfish to have the baby, my original point some posts back. It's both normal to want a child that's on its way, and it's growing up a little to tackle the project. It's not selfish, nor is it a consensus among "educated people" that that embryo is just a mass of cells. [/quot

But, my point was that it is selfish to both want the baby and never grow up enough to "tackle the project". I was not saying it's selfish to want to keep an unplanned pregnancy, but rather that it is selfish to express an interest in keeping a pregnancy but not do half the work to raise it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think babies are so valuable that people should actively decide to bring them into this world and to do so only when they are prepared to give a full commitment to caring for them.

And if one gets conceived accidentally, it's not selfish to have the baby, my original point some posts back. It's both normal to want a child that's on its way, and it's growing up a little to tackle the project. It's not selfish, nor is it a consensus among "educated people" that that embryo is just a mass of cells.

Oops, didn't quote properly...

But, my point was that it is selfish to both want the baby and never grow up enough to "tackle the project". I was not saying it's selfish to want to keep an unplanned pregnancy, but rather that it is selfish to express an interest in keeping a pregnancy but not do half the work to raise it.

[Anonymous]

Knew he had herpes and never told me. I ended up contracting it from him.