5th year biglaw associate, golden handcuffed and miserable

[Anonymous]

Hang on, your husband is about to make partner? You may be miserable and want a different job, but I'm not sure golden handcuffs is the right expression for your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't quit before you get that biglaw maternity leave. I had two of them and they're great. They're not going to can you while you're pregnant or on leave, so don't worry about the fact that you didn't make hours.

In terms of the search, most people I know (including myself) found their next job through someone they knew. Reach out to friends or to associates at other firms that you know through your matters, or to your alumni network. If small-law doesn't pay enough, look at bigger firms with regional DC offices, or at lower regarded biglaw firms. Your practice group and the ppl you work with matter most, not all biglaw sucks all of the time.

Start applying to gov't. It takes a while and many apps to get anywhere using USA JOBS. If you know someone who works there, see if they can get your resume in front of the right person.

Do a budget and figure out the real numbers. I make about 3rd year biglaw money now, with a pretty lousy bonus. My take home is not enough to cover all of our expenses, but it's not that far off and we have a substantially larger mortgage and an expensive nanny. Assuming your spouse earns an income, you guys may have room for a paycut.

GL, OP.

Thanks for this. Are you still at a firm?

Yup. A DC office of a mid-sized regional firm, that I got through someone I knew. I was a general litigator in biglaw for years and did a lot of white collar. I hated it. Now I do only litigation, really like all the people I work with, and am perfectly content with the paycut I took.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your DH is about to make partner, can’t you just quit then and either SAH or look for that ideal job? I’m not seeing what the problem is for you financially in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you interviewing when you’re pregnant??? You’re about to have an 18 week fully paid maternity leave if you’re in biglaw.

I've been interviewing for the past year. Agree that I need to stop. Assuming they won't fire me over my hours anyway.

Does your firm do part-time schedules? Is it possible they’ll tell you that you’re basically working part-time hours and want to pay you less going forward? That could be good or bad from your perspective. Would it make your life easier if you didn’t have the expectation to bill 1800 hours?

I've wondered a million times why they haven't suggested this themselves. Many associate moms work PT at my firm. Maybe they're afraid it will sound discriminatory since I'm already a mom?

Are you a SCOTUS clerk, OP?! That is the only explanation I can fathom for why your firm hasn’t called you out by now...

[Anonymous]

OP, your posts sound confused. Your spouse is about to make partner and you're saving half your salary, but you feel like you can't take 2/3 paycut. You are nowhere near making hours but you say you don't mind the volume of work / same hours expectations at a smaller firm. You say you really don't like the type of work, but you're planning to pursue the type of work in house or at a smaller firm.

Figure out what you want. You can do different work at your current firm or, it sounds like, part time. You can probably afford to quit outright although I understand you don't want to. But moving to a new job for the sake of moving won't make you happier until you figure out what you want from your job. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your DH is about to make partner, can’t you just quit then and either SAH or look for that ideal job? I’m not seeing what the problem is for you financially in this scenario.

I don't assume he'll get a huge raise when he makes partner? He's not at Covington or something. Plus that's still a year or so out, he could miss it despite strong signals from the firm he'll get it, plus a man is not a financial plan, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you interviewing when you’re pregnant??? You’re about to have an 18 week fully paid maternity leave if you’re in biglaw.

I've been interviewing for the past year. Agree that I need to stop. Assuming they won't fire me over my hours anyway.

Does your firm do part-time schedules? Is it possible they’ll tell you that you’re basically working part-time hours and want to pay you less going forward? That could be good or bad from your perspective. Would it make your life easier if you didn’t have the expectation to bill 1800 hours?

I've wondered a million times why they haven't suggested this themselves. Many associate moms work PT at my firm. Maybe they're afraid it will sound discriminatory since I'm already a mom?

Why not take maternity leave and ask if you can come back "part time"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your DH is about to make partner, can’t you just quit then and either SAH or look for that ideal job? I’m not seeing what the problem is for you financially in this scenario.

I don't assume he'll get a huge raise when he makes partner? He's not at Covington or something. Plus that's still a year or so out, he could miss it despite strong signals from the firm he'll get it, plus a man is not a financial plan, etc.

He’s your husband! That’s a plan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you interviewing when you’re pregnant??? You’re about to have an 18 week fully paid maternity leave if you’re in biglaw.

I've been interviewing for the past year. Agree that I need to stop. Assuming they won't fire me over my hours anyway.

Does your firm do part-time schedules? Is it possible they’ll tell you that you’re basically working part-time hours and want to pay you less going forward? That could be good or bad from your perspective. Would it make your life easier if you didn’t have the expectation to bill 1800 hours?

I've wondered a million times why they haven't suggested this themselves. Many associate moms work PT at my firm. Maybe they're afraid it will sound discriminatory since I'm already a mom?

Are you a SCOTUS clerk, OP?! That is the only explanation I can fathom for why your firm hasn’t called you out by now...

Far from it. I think they're just slow to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your posts sound confused. Your spouse is about to make partner and you're saving half your salary, but you feel like you can't take 2/3 paycut. You are nowhere near making hours but you say you don't mind the volume of work / same hours expectations at a smaller firm. You say you really don't like the type of work, but you're planning to pursue the type of work in house or at a smaller firm.

Figure out what you want. You can do different work at your current firm or, it sounds like, part time. You can probably afford to quit outright although I understand you don't want to. But moving to a new job for the sake of moving won't make you happier until you figure out what you want from your job. Good luck.

I understand what you mean, and what I am trying to allude to, without potentially outting myself, is that what I want is to be on the other side of the v. While my hours this year have been dismal, it's not like they've been in this state all the years I've been in practice, and being busy is great if you're doing what you want to be doing for partners you want to be doing it for. There have been some major changes in my firm/group that totally changed the culture and that have made me hate my firm and my work but not the law or working or litigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your husband is about to make partner? You may be miserable and want a different job, but I'm not sure golden handcuffs is the right expression for your situation.

Making partner isn't a golden ticket or even necessarily much more stable a job.

[Anonymous]

https://goo.gl/images/Zeax86

The world's smallest violin just broke playing the world's saddest song just for you, OP,!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://goo.gl/images/Zeax86

The world's smallest violin just broke playing the world's saddest song just for you, OP,!

Right?! Jeff, lock the thread! Just shut it down.

[Anonymous]

While I'm very happy for my husband that he found a firm that wants to make him partner and where he wants to make partner, it's not biglaw. Hardly the solution to all our financial worries.

[Anonymous]

hold out for in-house or a fed job. you're not working very many hours now anyway so it won't be less at a small firm. there are in-house litigation jobs in DC. or try to get appointed as a federal judge - you have way more litigation experience than the people they've been nominating.