Lost points for not wearing suit jacket and tie at girlfriend's Thanksgiving dinner

[Anonymous]

1. She should have told you there was a dress code.

2. The fact that she's still huffy about it nearly a month later is not good.

Do yourself a favor and end things with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) she should have told you the dress code.

2) the most concerning thing is that she is still in a huff about it. In a healthy relationship, she would have said “whoops, forgot to tell you about the dress code. Totally my fault”. And to her family, she would have said “whoops, totally forgot to mention the dress code. My fault, not his.” The fact that this is a thing shows a lot about her and how conflicts will be handled in the future. DO NOT MARRY HER!!

+1. It's not unreasonable for families to dress up. It's completely unreasonable for her to think everyone should just know to dress up when Thanksgiving is a very casually dressed holiday for a huge portion of America. And her inability to LET IT GO speaks volumes about her.

[Anonymous]

As others said, GF should have told you. Because she's still upset about this, she's not the one for you.

However, in future, going to a holiday dinner where you don't know people and you want to make a good impression, err on the side of dressier and keep a tie in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family and every family I've ever had thanksgiving with, except for DH's Midwest family, has dressed up. Men in ties and sport coats, women in dresses and skirts. It's a holiday people! Oh, and we don't eat on paper plates!

But OP, it does suck that she didn't tell you.

It's thanksgiving! It's about eating until you burst and watching football. It is not about cranberry stains on your tie and penny loafers. If uncle frank isn't prone on the couch, pants undone and snoring after dinner, it's not thanksgiving

It's as if you're straight out of Central Casting for a spot on Roseanne.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’d seriously reconsider any relationship requiring me to dress up for Thanksgiving, just because where does it end. I can’t imagine they’re chill people the other 364 days of the year.

[Anonymous]

Why is she still stewing about this on December 13th?

Crazy girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

You should have asked and she said have said something. But it's on you.

[Anonymous]

Hope you've already rented your tux for Christmas, Op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have asked and she said have said something. But it's on you.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Next time you should ask about dress norms when invited somewhere like that. But I agree with the consensus, this one is on her. She should have mentioned it to you what the expectation was on dress. You have a much bigger case for being mad at her for hanging you out to dry.

But if the two of you can't navigate something this minor, then I don't think you can navigate the complexities of a long-term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend invited me to her home for Thanksgiving. All the other men wore jackets and ties. I was business casual. In my family, all the relatives dressed informally -- like jeans and flannel shirts. Anyway, she's still in a bit of a huff. I didn't know. I would have dressed up if I had.

Do the men in your family dress up for Thanksgiving?

m

Never

Bad sign run fast!

Everyone in our families helps cook and we make good food that requires attention. You have to be a rich tire to dress up for a thanksgiving dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family and every family I've ever had thanksgiving with, except for DH's Midwest family, has dressed up. Men in ties and sport coats, women in dresses and skirts. It's a holiday people! Oh, and we don't eat on paper plates!

But OP, it does suck that she didn't tell you.

WHere in the world do you come from? Some soap opera village?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family and every family I've ever had thanksgiving with, except for DH's Midwest family, has dressed up. Men in ties and sport coats, women in dresses and skirts. It's a holiday people! Oh, and we don't eat on paper plates!

But OP, it does suck that she didn't tell you.

WHere in the world do you come from? Some soap opera village?

No, New England WASP. We also don't sit around watching football on Thanksgiving. If it is on at all, it's in a far-removed room. We actually talk to each other

[Anonymous]

Dump her.

[Anonymous]

Um, no...

Golf shirt, kakai shorts, and slides. (Sandals - not Jesus style)