Lost points for not wearing suit jacket and tie at girlfriend's Thanksgiving dinner
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Anonymous
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Button down and nice pants. Some uncles wear jackets. Girls in dresses. Women in dresses/skirts/nice pants.
No jeans, legging, athletic attire, etc. |
Anonymous
| I don’t understand, did she tell you what other people wear? Did you ask? |
Anonymous
He's not being closed minded! His girlfriend is by assuming he would know to dress up and not letting him know, and now punishing him for it. He's not saying that his family's way is the right way, just that he's puzzled that his girlfriend assumed he would know this and is now mad at him about it. Which is completely understandable. My family (in Maryland, but not DC suburbs) is completely casual. Depending on who is hosting and how many people are around for dinner, we might not even all be around a table really. My in laws in the DC suburbs, who are not only more formal, but also have fewer people they host and a larger home, dress more nicely, but jackets and ties would have been a lot even for them. |
Anonymous
It's as if you're straight out of Central Casting for a spot on Roseanne. |
Anonymous
| We don’t dress up. She should have told you the dress code in advance. |
Anonymous
I didn't say uncle frank was scratching his balls in his sleep. |
Anonymous
100% agree with this PP! Sounds like you need a less stuffy and uptight girlfriend. Jeans and any kind of sweater, long sleeve top, etc., are all fine in my family. Sneakers, also fine. Just not hoodies or t-shirts, though I honestly don’t think my parents or my other family in attendance would really care too much! |
Anonymous
No, YOU are the closed-minded one, just assuming an “outsider” should automatically know how it’s done on the East Coast and that your way is obviously the right way. What a nasty and uncalled for thing to say. |
Anonymous
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My brother drove to our parents house in pajamas for thanksgiving. He’s 32. I sat on the floor and ate at the coffee table. Everybody was happy and had a good time.
If we spend it with DH’s family, it’s a full dress up ordeal. New dress, tights, shoes, etc. Men in full suits. Awkward conversation at a table where no one likes each other. She should have told you the dress code. |
Anonymous
| Op, it's not important what families do. Your GF should have given you information on her family, her family's expectation. Not your fault at all. |
Anonymous
| My family: some wear sweat pants, some don't. Too much food eaten to wear constricting jeans. |
Anonymous
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My son wouldn't have thought to wear a jacket, either. Business casual would have been more than adequate at our table.
This girl sounds snobby and a bit presumptuous. She should have told you about this dress code. |
Anonymous
| We go business casual/slightly dressy, both here in DC area and when I visit family in Indiana. But we ALWAYS give guests a heads up and encourage them to wear whatever they want, and we would NEVER judge or "take off points" if someone went casual. |
Anonymous
| W don’t dress up for Thanksgiving. Agree with everyone else that gf should have given the heads up. I had forgotten to tell my DH one of the dinners at my family reunion was slightly nicer dress and all my relatives blamed me (rightly so) for leaving DH out to dry and not telling him. It would be one thing if he knew and choose not to dress up. It’s another to be underdressed and didn’t get the memo. |
Anonymous
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1) she should have told you the dress code.
2) the most concerning thing is that she is still in a huff about it. In a healthy relationship, she would have said “whoops, forgot to tell you about the dress code. Totally my fault”. And to her family, she would have said “whoops, totally forgot to mention the dress code. My fault, not his.” The fact that this is a thing shows a lot about her and how conflicts will be handled in the future. DO NOT MARRY HER!! |