Affairs: Lets hear from the guys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

I agree with you. We've always had a you can look but not touch rule - we're both human. I'm proud that we have been married a very long time and that the sex is still so good that we have no need to go elsewhere.

So it's not just staying hot, it's staying hot AND frequent/good sex? Or can you just have frequent/good sex?

Perhaps not quite that simple You have to want each other and WANT to want each other over the long-hall which means finding ways to appreciate and LIKE your partner through the highs and lows! That's why it takes work - you may have to be more engaged in the process sometimes but it's so worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

I agree with you. We've always had a you can look but not touch rule - we're both human. I'm proud that we have been married a very long time and that the sex is still so good that we have no need to go elsewhere.

So it's not just staying hot, it's staying hot AND frequent/good sex? Or can you just have frequent/good sex?

In our case I think it's both. We are both 60-ish so it's hard to be "hot" but for our ages we are both fit and pretty youthful both physically and attitudinally. I can still look darn good in a red silk nightgown!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

I agree with you. We've always had a you can look but not touch rule - we're both human. I'm proud that we have been married a very long time and that the sex is still so good that we have no need to go elsewhere.

So it's not just staying hot, it's staying hot AND frequent/good sex? Or can you just have frequent/good sex?

In ny experience frequent/good sex makes you want to look hotter and put more effort into looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

Yes. It is that simple. Just stay hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

I mean...this shouldn't be particularly earth-shattering. People (men, yes...but people!) are visual creatures.

I know and women don’t have eyes
They don’t appreciate a good package in a tight fitting uniform at all. Nope.

Both spouses should take this same advice: just stay hot, and keep up the regular sex. Boom, 90% of unhappy marriages, solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two brief affairs, and one ONS. Reason was the same as all men: sex starved at home plus a craving for variety. Women were about as attractive as my wife, but in different ways. All were married women who were deeply unhappy in their marriage (one has since divorced).

Sex was good, of course. The big difference was having an enthusiastic partner who craved sex as much as I did.

Exactly. BigLaw partner screwing a former associate (she's at a different place now) for over four years. Waited until we no longer worked together to start the affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

I mean...this shouldn't be particularly earth-shattering. People (men, yes...but people!) are visual creatures.

I know and women don’t have eyes
They don’t appreciate a good package in a tight fitting uniform at all. Nope.

Both spouses should take this same advice: just stay hot, and keep up the regular sex. Boom, 90% of unhappy marriages, solved.

It's going to take an awful lot of physical flaws for a woman to stop looking hot to me if she's saying and doing filthy things in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I just love a firm, tight butt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just love a firm, tight butt

You sound like my dog.

[Anonymous]

18 years married. Never had one. Thought about it on occasion, but never acted on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

Yes. It is that simple. Just stay hot.

+1. Hottish, at least.

[Anonymous]

Early 50s. They are always younger, hot women. I meet them at work or on-line. Met one last week--tall, gorgeous, Asian, PhD. How can I resist?

[Anonymous]

He was nice to me and made me feel wanted in every way. He made me feel good about myself.
The only time my ex husband was nice to me was if he wanted sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18 years married. Never had one. Thought about it on occasion, but never acted on it.

Been with only mine for 14 years. Think about it every day. Is that a bad sign?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just love a firm, tight butt

You sound like my dog.

You're dog has verbally told you that he only likes firm butts? My guess is he likes any butt