Affairs: Lets hear from the guys

[Anonymous]

I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

I mean...this shouldn't be particularly earth-shattering. People (men, yes...but people!) are visual creatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is perfect. Ivy League, associate at 26, offered partner at 32. Great mom, PTSA chair, still a size 6, and an inch of thigh gap.

In spite of all that, I've been unfaithful dozens of times, mostly with single women who live in trailer parks in Manassass. Because like all men, I'm stupid and will always chose fat, stupid, ugly whores over what I have have at home, any day of the week. I've probably infected my wife with HPV, and one of the hookers I patronize has stolen her identity. All the problems in the marriage are my fault, too.



There ya go ladies. That should confirm all your stereotypes.

Let me guess, you are the wife who think she she is perfect.

Newp.

I'm a guy, who's very practiced at being able to tell women exactly what they want to hear.

So I imagine reality, and then describe the exact opposite. And they eat it up.

Um, actually you sound like a moron. Back to the trailer park!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

I mean...this shouldn't be particularly earth-shattering. People (men, yes...but people!) are visual creatures.

I know and women don’t have eyes
They don’t appreciate a good package in a tight fitting uniform at all. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

Here's the thing, if my DH did even one of the two things you describe- 1) brought me coffee in the morning, or 2) hung out to chat for no reason, he'd be getting sex twice a week too. I agree that having infrequent sex in a marriage sucks and can lead to an affair. That said, men shouldn't just blame their wives "lack of sex drive" before examining their own behavior towards her. And before I get the question: Have you gained 40 pounds since you were married? I've put on about 5-7, so I'm fighting to squeeze my ass into the same size. BUT, a guy I'd estimate to be in his early 30's complimented me at the gym this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

It’s a great start.

—woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

At first, I thought this was touching. But then I re-read about her "ridiculous body"... is this what it comes down to? I see this constantly on here - if the wife is hot, all is okay. If she gains weight, etc, the DH starts noticing every single flaw about her (that has probably always been there) and starts looking elsewhere. Is it that simple (and twisted)? Just stay hot?

Honestly, how do you know it means she's 110 pounds and 5'6? She could be 135 and 5'2 for all we know. Nevertheless, I'd be lying if I said that I'd still find my DH attractive if he gained 50 pounds. I think it helps. Both men and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

Here's the thing, if my DH did even one of the two things you describe- 1) brought me coffee in the morning, or 2) hung out to chat for no reason, he'd be getting sex twice a week too. I agree that having infrequent sex in a marriage sucks and can lead to an affair. That said, men shouldn't just blame their wives "lack of sex drive" before examining their own behavior towards her. And before I get the question: Have you gained 40 pounds since you were married? I've put on about 5-7, so I'm fighting to squeeze my ass into the same size. BUT, a guy I'd estimate to be in his early 30's complimented me at the gym this week.

Very, very good point.

[Anonymous]

No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just took dw a cup of coffee while she was getting out of the shower and getting dressed. She's got a ridiculous body and I decided to hang out and chat while she went about her routine. I can't tell you what we talked about - I think maybe the Alabama election results.

Anyway, it's been 16 years and I haven't messed up. We have sex a few times a week if that matters.

Here's the thing, if my DH did even one of the two things you describe- 1) brought me coffee in the morning, or 2) hung out to chat for no reason, he'd be getting sex twice a week too. I agree that having infrequent sex in a marriage sucks and can lead to an affair. That said, men shouldn't just blame their wives "lack of sex drive" before examining their own behavior towards her. And before I get the question: Have you gained 40 pounds since you were married? I've put on about 5-7, so I'm fighting to squeeze my ass into the same size. BUT, a guy I'd estimate to be in his early 30's complimented me at the gym this week.

What did he say? How does one do this without being creepy/rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

I agree with you. We've always had a you can look but not touch rule - we're both human. I'm proud that we have been married a very long time and that the sex is still so good that we have no need to go elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have one. After 35 years my DW still has still got it going in so many ways. Sex at least once and often twice a week and she continues to be inventive as well as initiate.

Lucky you - maybe she should give lessons or at least have a podcast! After 35 years how does one be inventive?

Woman here... I get this; it's about both taking your wedding vows seriously and staying in a certain mindset. It's not that we won't find others attractive, it's that we don't act upon it or give others something to talk about. Our loyalty is also a huge turn-on for both of us.

Trust me, my s/o notices every attractive woman he encounters but as long as he doesn't cheat on or embarrass me with behaviors that make people speculate about his character, I'm good with it and I don't dishonor him or our relationship either.

I encourage him to "go out with the boys" so he can get it out of his system

I agree with you. We've always had a you can look but not touch rule - we're both human. I'm proud that we have been married a very long time and that the sex is still so good that we have no need to go elsewhere.

So it's not just staying hot, it's staying hot AND frequent/good sex? Or can you just have frequent/good sex?