How to get DH to stop overcommitting/doing too much for friends - vacation with friends with kids
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Anonymous
Definitely regretting it. Also don't like subsidizing all their meals, etc. They're 5 people, we're 2. |
Anonymous
| I don't think op sounds awful. I had no idea how much kids change a vacation until I had kids of my own. |
Anonymous
It's a pretty simple design https://www.wayfair.com/QuikShade-Shade-Tech-10-Ft.-W-x-10-Ft.-D-Canopy-157386-157388-L525-K~BSP1254.html?refid=GX140429331050-BSP1254&device=m&ptid=176422272082&targetid=pla-176422272082&gclid=CjwKCAjw5uTMBRAYEiwA5HxQNp3Rrusw4BrxLerp0i-fsHSa11GKSQpb3hrEboFGuqazdh2eGqPlMRoClaoQAvD_BwE |
Anonymous
Okay, well then OP learned a lesson. But finish out this trip acting like a decent human being. |
Anonymous
| Maybe it's bc you don't have kids that this sounds like over committing but to me it sounds par for the course. |
Anonymous
| OP doesn't sound like a terrible person. I have two kids and I would be annoyed. I don't mind sharing but want to be able to enjoy my things and don't want to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I didn't enjoy going on vacation with others before or after kids. Now that I'm older I'm comfortable refusing. Getting together for a few hours with people is enjoyable but overnights are not. It's too much. |
Anonymous
Except it only does one way. No one's dragging anything out to the beach for me to use or offering to bring me food. |
Anonymous
Only *goes one way. |
Anonymous
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If your DH wants to help leet him.
Don't say anything on this vacation. Simply do not vacation with the family of the 4 and 1 year olds again, they seem very rude. |
Anonymous
|
Some people genuinely enjoy going out of their way to help others. Some don't. You and your DH are wired differently.
I don't understand why any of this is your problem. Let him do what he wants. He clearly enjoys it. So mind your own business. If he asks you to help him, decline. |
Anonymous
You said originally one couple with a baby brought drinks to share. Did you drink any of those drinks? Your reaction sounds very petty based on the specifics you describe. However, it's hard to know without knowing the bigger context of these friends. If they are generally rude freeloaders over a long period of time, then stop vacationing with them or being friends with them. In most friendships, these things all work out and friends aren't bean counting amongst each other. |
Anonymous
This is totally fair. You do mind sharing. You know you mind sharing. You no longer vacation with others. A grown up approach all around. Here's your solution OP. |
Anonymous
On group trips to the beach, it's common knowledge that the men set up the beach gear while the women get the kids ready. The men also are responsible for running out to pick up donuts or whatever provisions are needed. Newsflash: setting up the gear and picking up food is a million times easier than getting the kids ready for the beach (putting sunblock on a toddler is a truly character building experience). As a childless woman, you had the option to sleep in and let the men do the set up and pick up breakfast. No clue what you're kvetching about. |
Anonymous
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Your husband sounds like a nice guy.
I would not go on vacation with these people again because you don't seem to like it or if he wants to go and for that reason you agree to do it again, consider it not your real vacation and grin and bear it for him then go on another vacation with just the two of you. |
Anonymous
| Your mistake is thinking that a vacation with kids--even not your own--is a real vacation. Pitch in to make things easier for everyone. |