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If you have two children of the same gender, how did you stop wanting the other gender?
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Anonymous
You are being snarky, as well as condescending (sounds like a Troll to me.) Have you never dreamed of something only to not have it come to fruition? And you didn't struggle with managing your disappointment? You have either an incredibly resilient spirit or a shallow one. |
Anonymous
And do you have two boys? I hope so, otherwise it's not fair of you to criticize someone when you have no idea what they are feeling/experiencing. |
Anonymous
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New poster here. I have two boys. When I got the sono for the first one, I thought "a boy? What's up with that?" It had honestly never crossed my mind that my baby woulnd't be a girl. It was a bit of an adjustment.
That said, I am baffled by the post and even more by the wholehearted agreement from so many. My feelings evolved quickly. I love my little boys so much, and with a girl I probably never would have expanded my horizons to Thomas, dinosaurs, transformers, football, baseball. It doesn't even occur to me to pine for tea parties, princesses, etc. Well, except the cute outfits. Boys clothes are so boring. |
Anonymous
PP here - OP said she wants her sons but she also wanted a girl, for reasons I agree with... both on a logical and emotional level. The heart wants what it wants. Dealing with a disconnect between brain and heart can take some time. |
Anonymous
In my experience, a girl doesn't get you the tea parties or cute outfits. I have a girl, stopped at one, and lo and behold at age 3 she started rejecting all skirts and anything pastel, wears only red or blue and has to be wrestled into a little blouse and capris outfit for a fancy event, and lives for dinosaurs, dragons, and dogs (all ds, hmmmm). She likes baseball too. Man, are her clothes boring. I love her to death. She doesn't look like any of the other kids and defied every gender expectation anyone ever had of her. Even when you get the chromosomes and "parts," it's all a crap shoot. We don't know what kind of little person we'll get until they start talking (back). Good luck with your boys. As it turns out, dinosaurs are kind of cool. |
Anonymous
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OP, I have not read all of the thread, but from your original post, it sounds like you know what the TRUE issue is: leftover stuff with your mom.
Know that whoever you are a mother to, you can be the best mom you can be and that having a girl would not necessarily right the wrongs with your mother/daughter relationship. You CAN heal those issues w/o having a girl! Find a good counselor to get it off your chest and heart, so you can fully embrace the blessings life has given you. You do not need to live with even the tiniest bit of "what if." Good luck! |
Anonymous
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I think you just adapt. For some reason I had it in my head that I would be the mom of two boys. I just pictured it, and it made me really happy. We were convinced our first was a boy.
Well, she's a girl and once I got over the initial shock after the 20 week ultrasound, I started getting really excited and now she is a toddler and we are thrilled. I think about having a boy next if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again, and it would be fun but I would love another girl - a sister for my first, more cute girl clothes, etc. I think you don't miss what you don't know. I'm sure if I had a boy I would be equally as thrilled. I get that we should be thankful and grateful for healthy children - of course, and I so am and I assume most people would prioritize healthy and happy children as the most important thing in their life, but if every thread was populated with that thought we wouldn't have a forum. Many of us wouldn't be able to post about sleep deprivation, nursing problems, picky eaters, terrible 2s etc. because we should all be too busy thanking our lucky stars for a healthy child. |
Anonymous
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I'm the fertile myrtle and the poster with the resilient response to life.
I have two girls. We have been asked repeatedly by people, when are you having your third? Aren't you disappointed you don't have a boy? Nope, not disappointed. We love our girls. I don't need a boy to "complete me." Nor did I have to have girls. Like another poster pointed out, there's no way you can predict what you are going to get. You might get a girl who has zero interest in girly stuff and vice versa. |
Anonymous
I have to say I agree with the person who you call a "troll". I do not identify being thankful and grateful for what you have as trollish. Maybe I'm not girly enough to give a shit, but really many of you sound extremely self absorbed and shallow. For the bolded statement, this is just idiotic. |
Anonymous
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Ladies, can't you see this is about OP and her mother, not about she and her children? And, she is posting for help, not a lecture on how to be grateful.
Lay off or go write about a post about gratitude and how you have never had issues in your life. The OP is being honest and this is what DCUM is about...give her some love, not another guilt trip. Don't you think she already feels bad? Go read the OP again. |
Anonymous
Yeah, damn... it was supposed to say AREN'T going well. That is what I get for responding in a snit. However, your response doesn't make a whole lot 'o sense either... you either agree with me that she is a troll, or you don't. Your posting contradicts itself. |
Anonymous
| Wasn't there a post recently about how if you already have 2 boys, the odds of your third child being a boy is like 80%? I don't know if there's any truth to that. But, something to think about. |
Anonymous
Not true... http://www.in-gender.com/XYU/Odds/Gender_Odds.aspx |
Anonymous
| If I were OP-I would go to Micro Sort and get myself a girl. I think you will completely love your boys, I really believe that but if you want a girl then go get one and you will find a way to make the money work. That or definitely adopt. I wouldn't care what anyone else thinks. I am going through another sort of gender thing (shows that everyone has some issues). I have a boy and a girl but had this fantasy of having two girls and I am sure it is to play out that I always wanted a sister and felt alone. I get so angry at myself because I love my kids so much and think maybe I should stop while the going is so good but in the back of my mind, I would like to roll the dice and figure even if I get another boy, then my son will get the great feeling of having a brother and my daughter will get another brother to dote on her and her to them. |
Anonymous
I didn't have any problems with my mom. |