Red Flags?
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Anonymous
+1,000,000 |
Anonymous
My ex before DH was like this. I thought I loved him but the relationship was so stressful. When I finally ended it for the last time I was sad. But then I met DH and learned what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. DH is wonderful, and having been in a possessive relationship, I appreciate how wonderful DH is all the more. This man is not good for you OP. There are good ones out there, but this guy is not it. |
Anonymous
Please accept the break up, block him and have no further contact. I had a boyfriend like this - very jealous of me, fearing my infidelity, without any justification. This kind of behaviour is a foem of grooming for abuse. A woman who responds to these kinds of actions by accepting them, trying to show she is faithful, modifying her behaviour so as not to get him upset, etc. - well that woman is demonstrating that she will not respond to abuse by walking away. Thus the partner knows that she can be abused in the context of an ongoing relationship. This kind of behaviour, i.e. monitoring and controlling the sexuality of the partner is a precirsor to emotional and physical abuse. I wish someone had told me this. It would have saved me about 10 years of my life and protected my from damage from emotional and physical abuse. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
He just sent me an email saying "I hope you get hit by a bus. F*ck off, Whore" Safe to say I'm trying to figure how to block gmail. |
Anonymous
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Buy and read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Do not under any circumstances respond to this man. Any attention you give him will just be the intermittant reinforcement that he needs.
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Anonymous
| He wanted to dump you and tried to make up some lame ass reason to blame you. Change your number |
Anonymous
Not to mention, paint one's toenails. |
Anonymous
| I can't believe you're even asking. You know the answer! BRIGHT red flag. He sounds psycho. |
Anonymous
+1 Even if some people on DCUM think De Becker is overrated, I still go through this risk assessment in this book in my head, still remind myself of the anecdotes he used on a regular basis. They represent quite a few types of situations people find themselves in. I think about the story of the girl sexually assaulted when a man in the downstairs of her complex insisted on helping her to her apt with her groceries. How the story says her instincts said to get away from him, but society told her she was supposed to be nice and accept the help. It sounds like you may also have a narcissist. Check out gaslighting and narcissistic emotional abuse to see if that rings true here. |
Anonymous
And the other thing De Becker said, which I have seen to be true so many times, is that we don't always know what the trigger for violence is for people like this. It can be being served with the protective order, the break up, something else they feel humiliates them. A woman in CA was recently shot and killed at work because she left her husband of 1.5 mo, who she thought would never hurt her. A man in MD stabbed to death the mother of his child the day after she got a protective order. Be careful. |
Anonymous
| Is this the tow truck guy turned weirdo guy that has that temper over little stuff??! |
Anonymous
| OP, he is clearly a twisted and unstable person. Why would you even consider further subjecting yourself or your daughter to his dangerous behavior? You should be glad he is gone! Block him and do not expose your daughter to him or anyone similar ever again. Be careful, because he will try to come crawling back. |
Anonymous
Wow. He is so not Godly. |
Anonymous
OP, your daughter should never meet this guy. Think of her. |