Have you talked to your kids about 13 reasons why

[Anonymous]

Thing is, the kids are all watching it. Full episodes are available on youtube (in addition to Netflix), so kids watch on the bus or wherever. I'm watching with my 13 and 15 year olds. They've both already seen it, but are watching again with me. It's not great story telling but has certainly provided a platform to discuss multiple important topics.
Parents who think they can prevent their kids from watching it: you're fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And two rape scenes. It's way off the mark for under 18 in my view.

Yes because kids under 18 don't drink, masterbate, have sex, possibly could get assaulted and definitely don't commit suicide.

Not letting them watch this is like starting sex ed class Senior year. Too late. Any kid going into high school and up need to watch it. No need to watch it with them either. That is kinda creepy. Watch it separate and talk about it.

Read the Post article mentioned in posts above. The problem with this program is not the depiction of things like masturbation or drinking etc. The problem is the deceptive depiction of a suicide somehow being a way for a teen to send a message or get back at those who hurt her. That is not what a reasonable adult watching this will see, but it is what a teen might take away from it. Read what the quoted mental health professionals say about the show in the article. I wonder how many teens--especially those who might have any mental health issues-- can see the lack of reality or subtlety in this picture of suicide. It's really sending a message that suicide can be a way to get your message across. That is what some teens will see in this show, if they are coming to it already fragile. I am truly hoping a couple of my teen DC's friends, who are not in great places emotionally, are not watching this.

[Anonymous]

Give the book to < 18.

But > 18 should watch, especially teachers, counselors, and principals.

Incredibly well done in true Netflix fashion. The best modern take on high school life and peer pressure and bullying I've seen.

Do unto those as you would have them do unto you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read about it and was firmly in the "no" camp, but my DD13 asked me to watch it before issuing a finale decision. I did. I let her watch it. We talked about my problems with the story, we talked about her problems with it. We talked about suicide, about expecting other people to solve your problems, about how other people can let you down without knowing it, about how important communication is, about how hard adolescence is. I suspect we'll be having many conversations about it for quite a while.

We're reading the book next. Many of her friends have already read the book as well.

Rape, suicide, drugs, horrible inter-personal relationships, yes, all of those are heavy things. But we teach our kids about slavery and the holocaust and the attempted genocide of native Americans, which are just as horrible aren't they?

Good on you for watching it together, pointing out concerns, and using it as a springboard for open communication.

Many parents who deem this to be taboo with only begin a losing battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been watching it with my 17 yo daughter. My 15 yo son has seen some but hasn't had much time since it was released for TV.

My daughter was required to read the book in either 9th or 10th grade, so she's familiar with it. I'd only read a blurb about it online before watching it.

It gets pretty intense towards the end. Netflix, I guess, has more liberties on what type of graphic content it can show vs. network TV.

It's opened up some good discussions on how even the smallest negative comment can have a big impact on the recipient. I can see how some of the earlier episodes could be viewed in school as a lesson on bullying and gossiping.

I might see if my kid still has her copy of the book and give it a shot. She told me the Netflix version is different from the book and it resonated more to see it on screen vs. reading it.

I find it strange that some schools would require students read this book. It's not exactly good literature with any sort of redeeming value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (12) says all her friends are watching this, and it's true. They're all talking about it over social media, texting, etc. (yes, I check and my daughter is fully aware that I do). I don't want her watching this; it seems far too mature for her age group, and yet her friends are watching it. Anyone else in a similar situation?

I am in the same situation with my dd13. She watched the first 11 eps without telling me. Not sure what I will do and open to advice.

Do you need to do anything? What I mean by that is, did she violate a house rule by watching a new show without telling you, or has some sort of problem arisen as a result such as her being distressed or showing signs of unacceptable behaviors? If not, I might do nothing in particular and just let her decide whether to keep watching. If she enjoys the series, she would continue, but if it's more unpleasant (distressing, confusing, etc.) than enjoyable she'd likely choose to stop watching it on her own it it doesn't suddenly become forbidden and therefore more interesting to a teen. As long as you're available to talk to her if she has questions, I don't necessarily think that's a bad age to watch the show.

Don't you find it disturbing that this child binge-watched nearly an entire series without parent knowledge? It's only been on the air for like a couple of days. Does PP have zero control/limits on screens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read about it and was firmly in the "no" camp, but my DD13 asked me to watch it before issuing a finale decision. I did. I let her watch it. We talked about my problems with the story, we talked about her problems with it. We talked about suicide, about expecting other people to solve your problems, about how other people can let you down without knowing it, about how important communication is, about how hard adolescence is. I suspect we'll be having many conversations about it for quite a while.

We're reading the book next. Many of her friends have already read the book as well.

Rape, suicide, drugs, horrible inter-personal relationships, yes, all of those are heavy things. But we teach our kids about slavery and the holocaust and the attempted genocide of native Americans, which are just as horrible aren't they?

Good on you for watching it together, pointing out concerns, and using it as a springboard for open communication.

Many parents who deem this to be taboo with only begin a losing battle.

Not us. Our kids trust us when we tell them we don't want them to watch something and don't try to sneak it. They know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read about it and was firmly in the "no" camp, but my DD13 asked me to watch it before issuing a finale decision. I did. I let her watch it. We talked about my problems with the story, we talked about her problems with it. We talked about suicide, about expecting other people to solve your problems, about how other people can let you down without knowing it, about how important communication is, about how hard adolescence is. I suspect we'll be having many conversations about it for quite a while.

We're reading the book next. Many of her friends have already read the book as well.

Rape, suicide, drugs, horrible inter-personal relationships, yes, all of those are heavy things. But we teach our kids about slavery and the holocaust and the attempted genocide of native Americans, which are just as horrible aren't they?

Good on you for watching it together, pointing out concerns, and using it as a springboard for open communication.

Many parents who deem this to be taboo with only begin a losing battle.

+1

Uptight parents are clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (12) says all her friends are watching this, and it's true. They're all talking about it over social media, texting, etc. (yes, I check and my daughter is fully aware that I do). I don't want her watching this; it seems far too mature for her age group, and yet her friends are watching it. Anyone else in a similar situation?

I am in the same situation with my dd13. She watched the first 11 eps without telling me. Not sure what I will do and open to advice.

Do you need to do anything? What I mean by that is, did she violate a house rule by watching a new show without telling you, or has some sort of problem arisen as a result such as her being distressed or showing signs of unacceptable behaviors? If not, I might do nothing in particular and just let her decide whether to keep watching. If she enjoys the series, she would continue, but if it's more unpleasant (distressing, confusing, etc.) than enjoyable she'd likely choose to stop watching it on her own it it doesn't suddenly become forbidden and therefore more interesting to a teen. As long as you're available to talk to her if she has questions, I don't necessarily think that's a bad age to watch the show.

Don't you find it disturbing that this child binge-watched nearly an entire series without parent knowledge? It's only been on the air for like a couple of days. Does PP have zero control/limits on screens?

It's been on for 20 days and it is 13 episodes that are 50min long.

[Anonymous]

I think it is hilarious that most of you don't seem to realize it is based on a novel. A popular YA novel that a lot of kids read before the TV series.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (12) says all her friends are watching this, and it's true. They're all talking about it over social media, texting, etc. (yes, I check and my daughter is fully aware that I do). I don't want her watching this; it seems far too mature for her age group, and yet her friends are watching it. Anyone else in a similar situation?

I am in the same situation with my dd13. She watched the first 11 eps without telling me. Not sure what I will do and open to advice.

Do you need to do anything? What I mean by that is, did she violate a house rule by watching a new show without telling you, or has some sort of problem arisen as a result such as her being distressed or showing signs of unacceptable behaviors? If not, I might do nothing in particular and just let her decide whether to keep watching. If she enjoys the series, she would continue, but if it's more unpleasant (distressing, confusing, etc.) than enjoyable she'd likely choose to stop watching it on her own it it doesn't suddenly become forbidden and therefore more interesting to a teen. As long as you're available to talk to her if she has questions, I don't necessarily think that's a bad age to watch the show.

Don't you find it disturbing that this child binge-watched nearly an entire series without parent knowledge? It's only been on the air for like a couple of days. Does PP have zero control/limits on screens?

Tbh no, I don't find it disturbing. It's less than an hour a day total if she watched the episodes one at a time. And even if she did spend 12 hours one day just watching Netflix, or several hours for a few days, if it's an occasional thing and she still has a life other than TV & meets her commitments I wouldn't be terribly bothered by an occasional TV binge. I've done it before, too. Not ideal, but certainly wouldn't be something I would call "disturbing"; to me that's a fairly strong word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (12) says all her friends are watching this, and it's true. They're all talking about it over social media, texting, etc. (yes, I check and my daughter is fully aware that I do). I don't want her watching this; it seems far too mature for her age group, and yet her friends are watching it. Anyone else in a similar situation?

I am in the same situation with my dd13. She watched the first 11 eps without telling me. Not sure what I will do and open to advice.

Do you need to do anything? What I mean by that is, did she violate a house rule by watching a new show without telling you, or has some sort of problem arisen as a result such as her being distressed or showing signs of unacceptable behaviors? If not, I might do nothing in particular and just let her decide whether to keep watching. If she enjoys the series, she would continue, but if it's more unpleasant (distressing, confusing, etc.) than enjoyable she'd likely choose to stop watching it on her own it it doesn't suddenly become forbidden and therefore more interesting to a teen. As long as you're available to talk to her if she has questions, I don't necessarily think that's a bad age to watch the show.

Don't you find it disturbing that this child binge-watched nearly an entire series without parent knowledge? It's only been on the air for like a couple of days. Does PP have zero control/limits on screens?

Tbh no, I don't find it disturbing. It's less than an hour a day total if she watched the episodes one at a time. And even if she did spend 12 hours one day just watching Netflix, or several hours for a few days, if it's an occasional thing and she still has a life other than TV & meets her commitments I wouldn't be terribly bothered by an occasional TV binge. I've done it before, too. Not ideal, but certainly wouldn't be something I would call "disturbing"; to me that's a fairly strong word.

It's appropriate though. You give your young teen unfettered access to Netflix? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Heck no, I don't want my teens watching this. There are some seeds it's better not to cultivate in the fertile minds of teens. I've been around too many suicides and suicide attempts. I completely agree with the Post article.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old watched it over spring break. He doesn't have to ask me if he wants to watch a Netflix series based on a YA novel that we actually have in the house.

I started watching it yesterday. I asked him what he thought of it and mentioned what critics and mental health professionals have said about it. It was clear that he already understood why it doesn't portray a realistic view of teen suicide and gave me examples from the plot. There was no need to have a long conversation about it but YMMV. He viewed it as a mystery series rather than as a "how to" guide.

[Anonymous]

My kid's therapist assigned watching this to me as homework. She told me to discuss it with my child who already saw it. Child is almost 14.