Poll for men: submissive wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I'm not who you're looking for as I am a woman but by nature I suspect I am more docile, easy going, etc. than most other women I know and the ones I read posts by on here. I'm just not every demanding. I was always very shy which has turned into reserve as an adult. I don't have super strong opinions on most things (except Trump but that's unusual for me). I HATE confrontation. I'm not competitive at all.

I married a man who is very competitive and aggressive by nature. He hates to lose at anything, even board games, which is crazy to me that anyone cares about stuff like that, lol. He makes most of the decisions concerning our lives, taking into consideration my input, and we've both been happy about this situation for a long time. We're coming up on our 12th wedding anniversary. However, a friend's husband died recently and I realized that if that happened to me I'd be SOL because there are sooooo many things that I rely on my husband for. He takes care of all our financial paperwork, taxes, house and yard stuff, our cars, etc. When we go somewhere, he always drives. I decide where we should travel but then he arranges all the details and takes care of the paperwork. He's older than me and has always been a high earner so he's always paid for everything. My name wasn't even on the deed to our first house because I was so young when we bought it and didn't have a source of income or even a credit history. Really my only domain where I take care of the details is the kids and I keep him updated on all that stuff.

We have a happy strong married but yeah I realize that I am probably unusually reliant on him. I'm not sure why I am this way as I had a good, happy childhood, etc. I guess maybe I was too sheltered? I'm used to having someone else take care of me. I married my husband at 24 and lived with him for two years before that so this is all I've known pretty much. I went from my parents' house, to college, to my husband's house. I've never lived on my own.

No offense but what does your husband get out of this deal?

Not having to come on DCUM complaining about not getting sex for the past 6 months.

NP. A life partner he gets along with? I know, such a shocker!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what OP calls submissive. In a healthy relationship people submit and compromise all the time. Otherwise their lives turn into a nightmare. It's kind of sad that being a reasonable, kind, and supportive spouse often gets labeled as being a doormat. Most people don't know the difference if it hits them in the face.

OP is pretty clear that he's not talking about mutual compromise between spouses who are equals in the relationship. OP asked, "do you wish you'd married someone more docile, agreeable, etc? Someone who would let you lead?" So, the husband is dominant/controlling and the wife is submissive/controlled. Sounds lovely.

Equality in a relationship is an illusion. One always leads, the other follows. I gather you are single, otherwise you'd know that.

Being led doesn't have to equal being controlled. I expect even singles to know that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women would be ok being submissive wives if the husbands were awesome, great lookers, great bodies, alpha males, witty, skilled in bed with a 10 inch dick, loyal, loving and extremely high earners. And also loved their DWs family and friends.

Since that is an impossibility, lets all compromise, ok?

Hahaha girl you nailed it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what OP calls submissive. In a healthy relationship people submit and compromise all the time. Otherwise their lives turn into a nightmare. It's kind of sad that being a reasonable, kind, and supportive spouse often gets labeled as being a doormat. Most people don't know the difference if it hits them in the face.

OP is pretty clear that he's not talking about mutual compromise between spouses who are equals in the relationship. OP asked, "do you wish you'd married someone more docile, agreeable, etc? Someone who would let you lead?" So, the husband is dominant/controlling and the wife is submissive/controlled. Sounds lovely.

Equality in a relationship is an illusion. One always leads, the other follows. I gather you are single, otherwise you'd know that.

Being led doesn't have to equal being controlled. I expect even singles to know that

Wrong. I'm married, and thankfully not to a simpleton like you!

[Anonymous]

The definition of submissive is confusing to me.

My wife values my opinions and seeks my opinions on many subjects. Is that submissive? On the other hand, she has strong opinions on certain things she cares about, is not not submissive?

Whatever the case, have some common sense and an easy going personality is what I'm after. Someone who complains a lot, gets offended easily, too sensitive and turns an otherwise simple situation into a drama, submissive or not, can't stand it.

I dumped my ex-gf because of the above reasons. She had opinions just about everything. Offends people easily and get offended easily. Someone imitated her Facebook postings, she complained. Some friends only called her when they needed some help, not friends anymore. Almost got me in a fight while travelling in South America because someone was shaking his legs behind her seat. Thank god we got out alive. I'd appreciate if she gave me a heads up before she confronted the men behind her.

I like decisiveness and the ability do things without me, but please, practice common sense when it's called for.

Bedroom wise, both my ex and my wife are about the same. No complains there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I'm not who you're looking for as I am a woman but by nature I suspect I am more docile, easy going, etc. than most other women I know and the ones I read posts by on here. I'm just not every demanding. I was always very shy which has turned into reserve as an adult. I don't have super strong opinions on most things (except Trump but that's unusual for me). I HATE confrontation. I'm not competitive at all.

I married a man who is very competitive and aggressive by nature. He hates to lose at anything, even board games, which is crazy to me that anyone cares about stuff like that, lol. He makes most of the decisions concerning our lives, taking into consideration my input, and we've both been happy about this situation for a long time. We're coming up on our 12th wedding anniversary. However, a friend's husband died recently and I realized that if that happened to me I'd be SOL because there are sooooo many things that I rely on my husband for. He takes care of all our financial paperwork, taxes, house and yard stuff, our cars, etc. When we go somewhere, he always drives. I decide where we should travel but then he arranges all the details and takes care of the paperwork. He's older than me and has always been a high earner so he's always paid for everything. My name wasn't even on the deed to our first house because I was so young when we bought it and didn't have a source of income or even a credit history. Really my only domain where I take care of the details is the kids and I keep him updated on all that stuff.

We have a happy strong married but yeah I realize that I am probably unusually reliant on him. I'm not sure why I am this way as I had a good, happy childhood, etc. I guess maybe I was too sheltered? I'm used to having someone else take care of me. I married my husband at 24 and lived with him for two years before that so this is all I've known pretty much. I went from my parents' house, to college, to my husband's house. I've never lived on my own.

No offense but what does your husband get out of this deal?

Not having to come on DCUM complaining about not getting sex for the past 6 months.

NP. A life partner he gets along with? I know, such a shocker!

Sure he gets along with her but it's because she lets him has his way on everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I imagine having a totally docile spouse would be totally boring, like like having a ridiculously intense spouse would be totally exhausting.

Like almost all personality traits, everything is best in moderation.

My DH loves that I am strong willed and smart and opinionated. He also loves that I'm kind and not rigid and able to go with the flow and resolve arguments peacefully and constructively.

How do you have passion with someone who's not passionate about anything?

+1 Also, I think what most of the PPs are missing is that there's a HUGE difference between being laid-back/easygoing and being submissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imagine having a totally docile spouse would be totally boring, like like having a ridiculously intense spouse would be totally exhausting.

Like almost all personality traits, everything is best in moderation.

My DH loves that I am strong willed and smart and opinionated. He also loves that I'm kind and not rigid and able to go with the flow and resolve arguments peacefully and constructively.

How do you have passion with someone who's not passionate about anything?

+1 Also, I think what most of the PPs are missing is that there's a HUGE difference between being laid-back/easygoing and being submissive.

What is the difference? It is not clear to me (I am the poster who talked about her friend, who I would categorize as being the submissive in her marriage). She still has interests and opinions and things to talk about. However, she does typically defer to her husband and they have a very 1950s type marriage. Like the other poster who talked about her marriage, my friend's husband takes care of all those details like taxes that my husband and I split equally. Honestly, I think that stuff (investments, taxes, car maintenance details, is boring as shit and I wouldn't mind if my husband wanted to take care of it, lol).

[Anonymous]

My wife is very assertive and confident. Shes submissive in bed. Sexy all around.

[Anonymous]

In the bedroom she should be a collar and leash, "paddle me please, Sir." submissive.

In the rest of life she should be an ambitious, professional equal, a woman I can admire and respect as much as she admires and respects me.

The bedroom submissive turns me on, as does the fully competent woman who I admire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the bedroom she should be a collar and leash, "paddle me please, Sir." submissive.

In the rest of life she should be an ambitious, professional equal, a woman I can admire and respect as much as she admires and respects me.

The bedroom submissive turns me on, as does the fully competent woman who I admire.

gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the bedroom she should be a collar and leash, "paddle me please, Sir." submissive.

In the rest of life she should be an ambitious, professional equal, a woman I can admire and respect as much as she admires and respects me.

The bedroom submissive turns me on, as does the fully competent woman who I admire.

gross

+ 1

A collar and leash? A paddle? I'm having a hard time imagining a woman who would find this sexy :/ It says something off about you that you do PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imagine having a totally docile spouse would be totally boring, like like having a ridiculously intense spouse would be totally exhausting.

Like almost all personality traits, everything is best in moderation.

My DH loves that I am strong willed and smart and opinionated. He also loves that I'm kind and not rigid and able to go with the flow and resolve arguments peacefully and constructively.

How do you have passion with someone who's not passionate about anything?

+1 Also, I think what most of the PPs are missing is that there's a HUGE difference between being laid-back/easygoing and being submissive.

What is the difference? It is not clear to me (I am the poster who talked about her friend, who I would categorize as being the submissive in her marriage). She still has interests and opinions and things to talk about. However, she does typically defer to her husband and they have a very 1950s type marriage. Like the other poster who talked about her marriage, my friend's husband takes care of all those details like taxes that my husband and I split equally. Honestly, I think that stuff (investments, taxes, car maintenance details, is boring as shit and I wouldn't mind if my husband wanted to take care of it, lol).

I think the difference is in the scale of the decision, really. Letting your spouse choose what to have to dinner or what movie to see - for an easygoing person, that's natural. (And the easygoing spouse should still feel confident that if they do have a preference, they can express it and be heard, and the other spouse will be open to compromise.) When you're making major decisions about finances, where to live, your kids, etc., one spouse making a unilateral decision that the other unquestioningly goes along with - that's submissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imagine having a totally docile spouse would be totally boring, like like having a ridiculously intense spouse would be totally exhausting.

Like almost all personality traits, everything is best in moderation.

My DH loves that I am strong willed and smart and opinionated. He also loves that I'm kind and not rigid and able to go with the flow and resolve arguments peacefully and constructively.

How do you have passion with someone who's not passionate about anything?

+1 Also, I think what most of the PPs are missing is that there's a HUGE difference between being laid-back/easygoing and being submissive.

What is the difference? It is not clear to me (I am the poster who talked about her friend, who I would categorize as being the submissive in her marriage). She still has interests and opinions and things to talk about. However, she does typically defer to her husband and they have a very 1950s type marriage. Like the other poster who talked about her marriage, my friend's husband takes care of all those details like taxes that my husband and I split equally. Honestly, I think that stuff (investments, taxes, car maintenance details, is boring as shit and I wouldn't mind if my husband wanted to take care of it, lol).

I think the difference is in the scale of the decision, really. Letting your spouse choose what to have to dinner or what movie to see - for an easygoing person, that's natural. (And the easygoing spouse should still feel confident that if they do have a preference, they can express it and be heard, and the other spouse will be open to compromise.) When you're making major decisions about finances, where to live, your kids, etc., one spouse making a unilateral decision that the other unquestioningly goes along with - that's submissive.

She is definitely submissive then. But like I said, I know she still has her own interests and opinions and stuff. She's not a featherhead with nothing in between her ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I'm not who you're looking for as I am a woman but by nature I suspect I am more docile, easy going, etc. than most other women I know and the ones I read posts by on here. I'm just not every demanding. I was always very shy which has turned into reserve as an adult. I don't have super strong opinions on most things (except Trump but that's unusual for me). I HATE confrontation. I'm not competitive at all.

I married a man who is very competitive and aggressive by nature. He hates to lose at anything, even board games, which is crazy to me that anyone cares about stuff like that, lol. He makes most of the decisions concerning our lives, taking into consideration my input, and we've both been happy about this situation for a long time. We're coming up on our 12th wedding anniversary. However, a friend's husband died recently and I realized that if that happened to me I'd be SOL because there are sooooo many things that I rely on my husband for. He takes care of all our financial paperwork, taxes, house and yard stuff, our cars, etc. When we go somewhere, he always drives. I decide where we should travel but then he arranges all the details and takes care of the paperwork. He's older than me and has always been a high earner so he's always paid for everything. My name wasn't even on the deed to our first house because I was so young when we bought it and didn't have a source of income or even a credit history. Really my only domain where I take care of the details is the kids and I keep him updated on all that stuff.

We have a happy strong married but yeah I realize that I am probably unusually reliant on him. I'm not sure why I am this way as I had a good, happy childhood, etc. I guess maybe I was too sheltered? I'm used to having someone else take care of me. I married my husband at 24 and lived with him for two years before that so this is all I've known pretty much. I went from my parents' house, to college, to my husband's house. I've never lived on my own.

I don't know if this is submissive behavior so much as "princess who expects everyone to cater to her" behavior.