Poll for men: submissive wife
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Anonymous
I would like this as a woman if he anticipated all of my wants and desires perfectly  Then I'd be thrilled to let him take care of the details and do the dirty work, administering a few low stress, mostly enjoyable tasks to me along the way so I could feel like an appreciated contributor. Ahhh so good.
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Anonymous
Some people are naturally more submissive by nature. They are followers, not leaders. They do not like confrontation. They are not competitive. They tend to be easy going, people pleasers. I would guess that they tend to be natural care takers (nurses rather than physicians, preschool teachers rather than college professors, homemakers rather then business people, things like that). I wouldn't say that they are doormats, necessarily, but more that they naturally feel more comfortable taking direction rather giving direction. |
Anonymous
| I think my husband sometimes wishes I were a doormat. Hell, sometimes I wish he was. In reality, neither of us would be very happy in that situation. So, we struggle with compromise sometimes. It helps that we are both pretty easy-going about the little things, I think. But man, we are currently on a collision course regarding where we are going to live, and it's a doozy. |
Anonymous
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I want a bitch husband like the ladies here have.
Oh that's right, they don't. This OP is worthless chatter crap something only another woman would fling at her female friends. It's ugly and mean. |
Anonymous
Are you me? heheh. When I read that book Fifty Shades of Grey, I recognized quite a few dynamics in there (not the kinky stuff but the relationship stuff)  For us it is a natural fit though and there wasn't the constant push/pull confrontation that is present in the novel. He leads, like you, said taking into consideration my wants and opinions, and I follow. Not always, not in every single circumstance, but generally speaking most of them. Even when I do disagree, he has a way of being able to argue me around to the other side.
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Anonymous
I'm not really a leader, but I'm not really a follower either. I'm self-directed but don't much care whether others do what I say. |
Anonymous
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I imagine having a totally docile spouse would be totally boring, like like having a ridiculously intense spouse would be totally exhausting.
Like almost all personality traits, everything is best in moderation. My DH loves that I am strong willed and smart and opinionated. He also loves that I'm kind and not rigid and able to go with the flow and resolve arguments peacefully and constructively. How do you have passion with someone who's not passionate about anything? |
Anonymous
Why would you assume that submissive people have no passions? I'm sure they do, they are human too. The difference is, they don't feel the need to jam their opinions and viewpoints down other people's throats or get their way all the time. |
Anonymous
No offense but what does your husband get out of this deal? |
Anonymous
I think you're simplifying a large spectrum into two pretty extreme camps. I think of someone on the extreme end of docile as someone that never really seeks out their own desires, at least not at the expense of virtually anyone's time/trouble. And I think of passion as something that drives people to seek it out or advocate for or whatever for whatever they are passionate about. So IMO a docile person can be passionate and likely unhappy as they are constantly quashing it, but more likely, just be a kind of c'est la vie whatever kind of a person. Which is fine I guess, not something that sounds very satisfying to me but certainly I'm sure that person would make someone very happy. On the other end, there's a difference between someone who like, can't interact with people who share different viewpoints without turning it into a federal case or always pushing to make things happen THEIR way on THEIR timeline. As I said in my post, its generally the space in between that is desirable. But not to everyone of course. |
Anonymous
Good point. I guess I should have substituted "interest" for "passion" because that's more what I meant. I think a submissive person could have their own interests and opinions but like you said, still be more of a "c'est la vie," agree to disagree kind of person. My BFF from childhood is someone who I would categorize as submissive. She's a SAHM and she's all the things people mentioned above: a people pleaser, likes to be agreeable, noncompetitive, avoids confrontation like the plague, sort of shy. But she's also very kind and goes out of her way for people. She still has her own interests and opinions and things to talk about but she's more of a listener than a talker. She also lets her husband make the major decisions in their lives, for sure. |
Anonymous
A peaceful, loving, life partner. That can go far for a man with a personality like her DH. I've seen it. That is his "safe space" he is probably more vulnerable with her than he could be otherwise. As long as the sex is good, she should be OK. However, PP should beware of risks of women that are more "fun" who could become a threat to her marriage by offering a break from the monotony. Hopefully PPs husband is a Capricorn or Taurus and hates change and loves routine. |
Anonymous
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I think women would be ok being submissive wives if the husbands were awesome, great lookers, great bodies, alpha males, witty, skilled in bed with a 10 inch dick, loyal, loving and extremely high earners. And also loved their DWs family and friends.
Since that is an impossibility, lets all compromise, ok? |
Anonymous
New Poster. If I had to guess, it would be control. Type A, bossy people like to be in control. They like to make all the decisions, arrange all the details, know exactly where everything is, know where they're going, etc. I know controlling people who dislike even being passengers in a car. They're just not good at loosening up on the reigns and letting someone else take over. Two very controlling people like the OP's husband wouldn't make a good match because someone would have to compromise and who is it going to be? You see it sometimes with posts on here about childcare at home. The wives are bitching because their husbands never "help out" but then they inevitably reveal that they won't let their husbands help because they don't like the way they do things. They can't bear to give up that kind of control. |
Anonymous
Not having to come on DCUM complaining about not getting sex for the past 6 months. |