Teen son was asked to winter formal (girls ask boys) by girl he's not attracted to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well he said yes, so he should go and treat her right. ou might mention how in the future he doesn't have to say yes, there is a way to turn someone down nicely.

You can't really say no when they do all the "proposal" nonsense.

And for those telling me not to use attractive / unattractive, I'm giving context. My son said he finds the crush pretty, the date was less attractive. Both are nice girls. The friend from the student club is cuter but he loves her personality, too.

O.k...so the girl who asked him to the dance put him on the spot by "proposing" to him in front of everybody? Yeah, I can see how that would be awkward.

What would be a good response in a situation like that? How do you say "no thank you" w/o hurting feelings or embarrassing anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He felt obliged to say yes. He has a crush on her cuter friend, a girl he runs a student club with. My opinion is the girl he has a crush on is NOT into him, otherwise she wouldn't have permitted her less attractive friend to ask him. Right or wrong?

Note: Girl he has a crush on did not take a date to the dance (many kids went without dates).

So this dance has already happened? How did your son react when he saw the "cuter" girl dateless and available at this dance? I hope he was attentive to the young lady he went to the dance with...

I assume he was nice. Thread is more-so about whether or not I should encourage him to move on from crushing on the cuter girl.

[Anonymous]

Maybe "cuter" girls considers your son "less attractive" than the other boys and let her "less attractive" friend ask him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He felt obliged to say yes. He has a crush on her cuter friend, a girl he runs a student club with. My opinion is the girl he has a crush on is NOT into him, otherwise she wouldn't have permitted her less attractive friend to ask him. Right or wrong?

Note: Girl he has a crush on did not take a date to the dance (many kids went without dates).

So this dance has already happened? How did your son react when he saw the "cuter" girl dateless and available at this dance? I hope he was attentive to the young lady he went to the dance with...

I assume he was nice. Thread is more-so about whether or not I should encourage him to move on from crushing on the cuter girl.

You are not going to prevent him from crushing on the other girl. I'm not sure how you expect to control who he is attracted to. Unless he's not leaving her alone or something I would stay out of it.

He seems like he's doing a good job for himself. He managed to go to a dance with a girl who likes him. He treated her nicely and hopefully he enjoyed himself at the dance. That's good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe "cuter" girls considers your son "less attractive" than the other boys and let her "less attractive" friend ask him out.

Yes, that was my assumption. He doesn't see it that way and I don't want him to embarrass himself crushing on a girl that is OBVIOUSLY not interested.

[Anonymous]

Mom - - you know too much. Or claim to which is almost as bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe "cuter" girls considers your son "less attractive" than the other boys and let her "less attractive" friend ask him out.

Yes, that was my assumption. He doesn't see it that way and I don't want him to embarrass himself crushing on a girl that is OBVIOUSLY not interested.

What is he doing when he "crushes" on this girl? Is this a matter of him having a secret crush or is he doing things to get her attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a teachable moment for you OP. Tell him to have fun and treat his date right. Maybe the other girl will notice how fun he is and will ask him next time.

+1000 Great advice.

+1001

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a teachable moment for you OP. Tell him to have fun and treat his date right. Maybe the other girl will notice how fun he is and will ask him next time.

+1000 Great advice.

+1001

+1002

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you referring to her as "less attractive friend" why can't she just be friend? Sounds like your son has an asshole for a mom, and that his crush is interested in someone else. You are wrong for adding in all the other fluff.

You're worse, you're a nitpicking asshole.

You know exactly why the OP wrote "less attractive friend", so we would know which girl she was referring to. There was no malice in the way she wrote it.
Sounds like you're a little too sensitive... you've probably always been the "less attractive friend".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have manned up and asked the cuter girl out.

And you should brush up on your reading comprehension... the OP clearly states that the girls ask the guys out for this dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women like you raise boys who treat girls with disrespect. As a mom you are referring to one girl as cuter and the other as less attractive. That's shallow and insensitive. Your son will have the same shallow attitude to girls and women. You should not be thinking about the girls in those terms and if he spoke of them like that, you should have explained to him why that is wrong.

You have GOT to be kidding me, lol.
You deducted all of that from her 3 sentence post??
Get a fucking grip lady, sounds like YOU are the one with issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have manned up and asked the cuter girl out.

Sounds like it was a Sadie Hawkins dance -- girls ask boys.

Right, so the thing to do would have been for him (well beforehand) to ask the girl he liked to study, get a burger, got to a movie etc etc so she knew he was definitely interested. Encourage your son to be direct and express himself confidently so these awkward dilemmas are avoided. This skill will serve him very well in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe "cuter" girls considers your son "less attractive" than the other boys and let her "less attractive" friend ask him out.

Yes, that was my assumption. He doesn't see it that way and I don't want him to embarrass himself crushing on a girl that is OBVIOUSLY not interested.

Omg - this is how he learns the ways and means of social interaction with the opposite sex! Let him grow up! Let him be a teenager! You cannot protect him forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have manned up and asked the cuter girl out.

Sounds like it was a Sadie Hawkins dance -- girls ask boys.

Right, so the thing to do would have been for him (well beforehand) to ask the girl he liked to study, get a burger, got to a movie etc etc so she knew he was definitely interested. Encourage your son to be direct and express himself confidently so these awkward dilemmas are avoided. This skill will serve him very well in life.

+1 good advice.