Teen son was asked to winter formal (girls ask boys) by girl he's not attracted to

[Anonymous]

He should have manned up and asked the cuter girl out.

[Anonymous]

I am tempted to say that clearly your son isn't that cute.

But seriously, OP, you couldn't tell your little story without including your judgment of the relative attractiveness of the two girls? Would it ever be possible for your son to have a crush on the "less attractive friend" and be disappointed to have been asked by "the cuter girl"? Or would that make your head explode?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have manned up and asked the cuter girl out.

Sounds like it was a Sadie Hawkins dance -- girls ask boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say butt out.

Why? He asked me for advice. He told me in the weeks leading up to the dance he was hoping the cuter girl would ask him. When she didn't, and her friend did, I think I want to encourage him to move on. But I just want to make sure you all agree the cuter girl isn't interested.

Why don't you talk to him about attributes other than "cuter". Teach your boy to treat everyone with respect.....even girls who are not "cute". Tell him you believe in his choices. Then butt out. You want to raise a confident, competent man who treats women with respect.....don't you?
It might be a good time in your sons life to guide him...but let him figure things out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He felt obliged to say yes. He has a crush on her cuter friend, a girl he runs a student club with. My opinion is the girl he has a crush on is NOT into him, otherwise she wouldn't have permitted her less attractive friend to ask him. Right or wrong?

Note: Girl he has a crush on did not take a date to the dance (many kids went without dates).

Your son sounds like a pussy and should have said to the cuter girl we would have a great time leading up to the dance.
Honestly, butt out. Can only imagine how easy it will be for your son to hookup with tinder in the future.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, at this point, it probably doesn't matter if the girl your son actually likes likes him back. Her friend asked him to the dance and he went with her, which effectively makes him off limits for the girl he likes unless her friend is no longer interested. In high school, I would never have gone after one of my friends' dates - probably not even if they'd moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, at this point, it probably doesn't matter if the girl your son actually likes likes him back. Her friend asked him to the dance and he went with her, which effectively makes him off limits for the girl he likes unless her friend is no longer interested. In high school, I would never have gone after one of my friends' dates - probably not even if they'd moved on.

This. Once one of my friends was interested in a guy...he was off limits.

[Anonymous]

OP I hope you are a teenager pretending to be a parent because you sound extremely immature.

[Anonymous]

Women like you raise boys who treat girls with disrespect. As a mom you are referring to one girl as cuter and the other as less attractive. That's shallow and insensitive. Your son will have the same shallow attitude to girls and women. You should not be thinking about the girls in those terms and if he spoke of them like that, you should have explained to him why that is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women like you raise boys who treat girls with disrespect. As a mom you are referring to one girl as cuter and the other as less attractive. That's shallow and insensitive. Your son will have the same shallow attitude to girls and women. You should not be thinking about the girls in those terms and if he spoke of them like that, you should have explained to him why that is wrong.

Oh, get a grip. Is your pussy hat on too tight? I'm a woman who spent tons of time chatting with my mom during my teen years about which boys were cuter than others.

If the genders of the children were reversed, no one would blink. -NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women like you raise boys who treat girls with disrespect. As a mom you are referring to one girl as cuter and the other as less attractive. That's shallow and insensitive. Your son will have the same shallow attitude to girls and women. You should not be thinking about the girls in those terms and if he spoke of them like that, you should have explained to him why that is wrong.

Get a grip, lady. He finds one girl attractive and one girl less attractive. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women like you raise boys who treat girls with disrespect. As a mom you are referring to one girl as cuter and the other as less attractive. That's shallow and insensitive. Your son will have the same shallow attitude to girls and women. You should not be thinking about the girls in those terms and if he spoke of them like that, you should have explained to him why that is wrong.

Oh, get a grip. Is your pussy hat on too tight? I'm a woman who spent tons of time chatting with my mom during my teen years about which boys were cuter than others.

If the genders of the children were reversed, no one would blink. -NP

NP. No kidding! Totally agree that moms of girls would all have these conversations with them about boys, but freak out upon realizing that the boys may be talking about girls the same way.

[Anonymous]

I think it is sweet your son said yes - encourage him to have fun and and go with a group. From my experience with two teens the ask is usually all about the Instagram photo op and beyond that most couples go their own way unless they are an official couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well he said yes, so he should go and treat her right. ou might mention how in the future he doesn't have to say yes, there is a way to turn someone down nicely.

You can't really say no when they do all the "proposal" nonsense.

And for those telling me not to use attractive / unattractive, I'm giving context. My son said he finds the crush pretty, the date was less attractive. Both are nice girls. The friend from the student club is cuter but he loves her personality, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He felt obliged to say yes. He has a crush on her cuter friend, a girl he runs a student club with. My opinion is the girl he has a crush on is NOT into him, otherwise she wouldn't have permitted her less attractive friend to ask him. Right or wrong?

Note: Girl he has a crush on did not take a date to the dance (many kids went without dates).

So this dance has already happened? How did your son react when he saw the "cuter" girl dateless and available at this dance? I hope he was attentive to the young lady he went to the dance with...